(no subject)
I have no soul...
Well not in theatre X anyways,
I am doubting my talent...I don't know i just always thought that with acting...acting is like the one thing i have that i'm good at...
Like that i can do better than most other people (this isnt like better than people in tour...just people in general)
And for the last 3 years in the roles i;ve had i let myself believe that i was something special..audrey, Yvette, Melanie...but this year, suddenly i have to lost my "cuteness factor" and stop being idocincratic...which is basically what i have been for the other 3 roles...and today the second run through, i did take away all the energy and shit. Which apparently made it a lot better...but in order to make it better...i put NO SOUL into it
i did nothing i did the moves and had to literally hold myself back...which is scary..
and just makes me think that all my other roles were good because of the cuteness factor..and the none of it was talent....
It's this thought that is making me cry, that i have nothing now, i am no good anymore because i cant "get away with it"... and i dont want to be like anyone else..i want to be individual...like dann and peter hanson...which makes me sound like i DO want to be like others...but i want that sort of rep as apposed to being the same...does that make sence?
I feel like shit...the one thing i love i cant do...i just had a mask that made me think i could...but now that mask doesnt work...so its just me
looking like an idiot
with no real talent at all
oh woe is me...
I LOVE DRAMA
but drama doesnt love me
Well not in theatre X anyways,
I am doubting my talent...I don't know i just always thought that with acting...acting is like the one thing i have that i'm good at...
Like that i can do better than most other people (this isnt like better than people in tour...just people in general)
And for the last 3 years in the roles i;ve had i let myself believe that i was something special..audrey, Yvette, Melanie...but this year, suddenly i have to lost my "cuteness factor" and stop being idocincratic...which is basically what i have been for the other 3 roles...and today the second run through, i did take away all the energy and shit. Which apparently made it a lot better...but in order to make it better...i put NO SOUL into it
i did nothing i did the moves and had to literally hold myself back...which is scary..
and just makes me think that all my other roles were good because of the cuteness factor..and the none of it was talent....
It's this thought that is making me cry, that i have nothing now, i am no good anymore because i cant "get away with it"... and i dont want to be like anyone else..i want to be individual...like dann and peter hanson...which makes me sound like i DO want to be like others...but i want that sort of rep as apposed to being the same...does that make sence?
I feel like shit...the one thing i love i cant do...i just had a mask that made me think i could...but now that mask doesnt work...so its just me
looking like an idiot
with no real talent at all
oh woe is me...
I LOVE DRAMA
but drama doesnt love me