[fic] Retribution Seventeen

[kajornwan]

I must have said sorry for a dozen times for not updating for so long, but at least I can guarantee you that I will finish this fic as long as there are still people willing to read. For those who are still with me, thank you so much for your support, i wouldn't have gotten this far without you. Without further rambling, here it is, the new chapter

Comments

[delwynmarch]

You SO need to go pro, you know. This stuff is MUCH better than many published books I've read. You're excellent at characterisation, your plot twists continuously take me by surprise, and the descriptions are both detailed enough to guide the imagination yet concise enough not to interrupt the action. And what an action it is, too! So much happening, in so little time, with a constant reminder to hurry but yet never feeling rushed...

So anyway!

* Yoh: I've said it a thousand times, and I'll repeat it a million times: I adore your Yoh. And you might say that you don't feel for him as much as for Fei Long and Mikhail, but you still GET him far better than many Yoh fans! " I need you. There it was, the words that could make him surrender and give up everything - his life, his pride, his integrity - spoken by the one and only man who had the power to do so." Ha! And that whole battle of wills between Fei Long and Yoh was perfect, down to the fact that if Fei Long won it, it was because he was FINALLY facing himself, his duty, and the

[kajornwan]

You SO need to go pro, you know. I'm trying but my muse is obsessed with Mik x Fei and she won't let me write anything else. *cries* I'm beginning to think this could be my one hit wonder as I can't seem to see anything clearly right now when I'm writing my original. Hopefully it's because I'm still stuck in VF realm. I'm waiting to see what happens when I finish CI

[delwynmarch]

"Damn, this comment is more well-written than my entire fucking chapter."

Nope. The comment is just a reflection of the chapter ;)

I have a feeling this is what Yoh has been wanting to see all along, from the very first time he saw Fei sulk in jail, and then seeing a glimpse of how beautiful he could be when he gains back his focus and self-esteem.

I'd say not when he saw him sulk, but when he saw him angry at the prospect that Asami might get his hands on Baishe. That was when Yoh first "saw colour in his eyes" as he says in NT0. And then Fei Long got out of jail, and reclaimed and rebuilt Baishe in a handful of years, and how could someone like Yoh not be admirative of that? (Of course, this is the whole plot of the fic I'm desperately supposed to be working on :P )

which FnR has decided to blatantly prove me wrong from the very first chapter!Hence why this YohxFei fan hates FnR with a passion =_= Established canon characterisation? What established canon characterisation?? Let's take those awesome characters and strip them of

[kajornwan]

I'd say not when he saw him sulk, but when he saw him angry This is yet another example of the failure to explain myself in English (or Thai which could be worse =_=). I meant the the contrast from the lifeless Fei and then seeing the fight in him. You are right, how could someone like Yoh not admire it. Fei Long is the complete opposite of Yoh - he's reckless, undisciplined, unpredictable and unreasonable all for the sake of his passion and yet his existence is so damn addictive. He breaks every rule Yoh builds around himself, continuously showing everyone that there is something else worth living for than power and righteousness. A part of us all including Yoh and Mikhail who love Fei probably want to see him win and find happiness in the end. Because if he doesn't, then the world is an ugly ugly place, isn't it?..thanks to YA that never happened and it never will or else that 3some would never come into existence *sighs

[delwynmarch]

Fei Long is the complete opposite of Yoh - he's reckless, undisciplined, unpredictable and unreasonable all for the sake of his passion and yet his existence is so damn addictive.

Yes! Yes yes yes! They are so opposite it's almost ridiculous, though it also makes them an excellent complement to each other, especially in work. In love... It makes things rather complicated, starting with the fact that Fei Long can't even see what's right under his nose :P

It may seem like Aki does what he wants, but in the end the boy always come back after a fuck (or a kiss), not only that but Aki demands no explanation afterwards either.

Yeah, you're right, Asami has Akihito far too well-trained =_= But as I said in another comment, I think that's the whole point of VF, so... Yeah.

This is ok in the beginning but she has dragged this relationship on with no real growth for too long it has become so repetitive.That's because you're looking for the wrong kind of growth. If you start looking for, well, un-growth in Akihito's character, it becomes