(no subject)
I've been walking around for a week now with this terrible rage inside. I can feel it burning just beneath the surface. I put a dent in an elevator wall the other day because I couldn't stop myself.
I think that is part of what is prompting my nightmares and some of my thoughts lately. Just this impossibly deep well of anger that's just riding around inside my head. But it was only today that I realized what it was, and that it was even there.
I've been avoiding my own thoughts for a long time now. Okay, maybe not a long, long time, but long enough that they're starting to find other ways to make me notice. I guess I'm still just so angry, and hurt, and confused, and bitter and just feeling so nasty about everything. I don't think I can even put all this into words right now.
I think that is part of what is prompting my nightmares and some of my thoughts lately. Just this impossibly deep well of anger that's just riding around inside my head. But it was only today that I realized what it was, and that it was even there.
I've been avoiding my own thoughts for a long time now. Okay, maybe not a long, long time, but long enough that they're starting to find other ways to make me notice. I guess I'm still just so angry, and hurt, and confused, and bitter and just feeling so nasty about everything. I don't think I can even put all this into words right now.