Well, well, well... look what the cat dragged in...
Hmm... not quite sure why I'm writing in this thing still. I make an update maybe every two months and then I don't even look at this page for a long ass time. And the only time I ever use this anymore is to just vent. Well... at least, that's kinda why I'm using it tonight.
For some reason or another, I got it in my head this afternoon that I want to find my birth mother. Don't know why. I just spent the last four hours looking for information, adding my name to registries and all that crap. Why this sudden interest? I have no idea. I wish I knew.
It's like this: All my life, I said that the minute, the very second, I turned 18, I would open up my records and find her. Well... bam! Hit 18 and it just didn't seem that important anymore. I lost interest for a while. I even completely forgot about it for a year or so. Well, I just turned 21 a few weeks ago. My dad was out here for my birthday and we all got royally plastered. It was amazing. But now... now... well... I don't know.
I guess I'm curious. Well, I know I'm curious. But I've never been this serious about my curiosity. I mean, I even dragged out my birth certificate so I could get the file number. And I feel really restless tonight. Like there something I should be doing, but I'm not. I guess I just feel kind of weird all over.
Anyway, aside from that, today was Pat and my one year anniversary. I know I owe someone some money on that one. Who would've guessed. We really didn't do anything. Pat had to work tonight and I've got studio time to finish a shoot for tomorrow. I won't be home until 1 AM, at which point Pat will probably be in bed. Well... maybe not in bed, but you know what I mean.
As for school, it's going well. I'm carrying a steady B+/A- average. My professors like my work and everything's going... well. I'm happy with what I'm doing, and I finally feel like I'm doing what I should be doing and that I'm at where I need to be at. But there's still some lingering doubt there. Not enough doubt to make me quit or anything. Far from it. But...
Always another "but." I don't know what's wrong with me today. Emotionally and mentally, I feel like crap. Complete and utter crap. Grrr...
Well... need to get to the studio. I'll write more later, I promise.
For some reason or another, I got it in my head this afternoon that I want to find my birth mother. Don't know why. I just spent the last four hours looking for information, adding my name to registries and all that crap. Why this sudden interest? I have no idea. I wish I knew.
It's like this: All my life, I said that the minute, the very second, I turned 18, I would open up my records and find her. Well... bam! Hit 18 and it just didn't seem that important anymore. I lost interest for a while. I even completely forgot about it for a year or so. Well, I just turned 21 a few weeks ago. My dad was out here for my birthday and we all got royally plastered. It was amazing. But now... now... well... I don't know.
I guess I'm curious. Well, I know I'm curious. But I've never been this serious about my curiosity. I mean, I even dragged out my birth certificate so I could get the file number. And I feel really restless tonight. Like there something I should be doing, but I'm not. I guess I just feel kind of weird all over.
Anyway, aside from that, today was Pat and my one year anniversary. I know I owe someone some money on that one. Who would've guessed. We really didn't do anything. Pat had to work tonight and I've got studio time to finish a shoot for tomorrow. I won't be home until 1 AM, at which point Pat will probably be in bed. Well... maybe not in bed, but you know what I mean.
As for school, it's going well. I'm carrying a steady B+/A- average. My professors like my work and everything's going... well. I'm happy with what I'm doing, and I finally feel like I'm doing what I should be doing and that I'm at where I need to be at. But there's still some lingering doubt there. Not enough doubt to make me quit or anything. Far from it. But...
Always another "but." I don't know what's wrong with me today. Emotionally and mentally, I feel like crap. Complete and utter crap. Grrr...
Well... need to get to the studio. I'll write more later, I promise.