I COME BEARING SQUEE!
I watched Merlin 2x01 and wrote down my moment-by-moment commentary. It's ridiculously detailed and silly! Come squee with me if you're not squeed out yet! Though I should warn that mockery is how I show love. I'm one of those annoying people who will MST3K their way through a whole movie.
SPOILERS, AHOY. But only for the first ep.
- I totally thought it was a different castle at first, not Camelot. Just an odd view of it I guess. Or maybe it's been too long since I last watched this show! The workers knocking holes in the walls also confused me and I was expecting/hoping them to become dragon snacks. Nom nom.
- Why does Merlin immediately come when Arther calls? Is he sleeping in the hallway now?
- Hallo thar shirtless Arthur with your arm over your head! Who's been giving you modelling lessons?
- I love how Gaius doesn't even mention to Uther for a while the trap and the poison darts... And how he looks guilty when Uther says people will want to steal stuff.
- He said fingersmith! FINGERSMITH!!! (Uh, I'm on a Sarah Waters kick.)
- HELLO MORE SHIRTLESS ARTHUR! We're really getting the fanservice started early, eh?
- Cedric has an earring... earrings? Not really my type but nice green eyes. And he's a fingersmith! Such an innocent look he has.
- The look on Merlin's face after he hits Cedric in the stomach cracked me up.
- That blue stone in the sarcophagus thing totally reminds me of Atlantis. (I still want Camelot/Atlantis slash, yes I do.)
ETA: I rewatched again with my boy and his reaction was "O hai Stargate. STARGATE IN MY CHEST."
- Haha, more of Arthur's dorky finger motions!
- I am getting the feeling that Cedric is basically MERLIN if his life had gone differently. Except possibly without magic?* Time will tell. I wonder if there's already Cedric/Merlin porn out there.
*I thought Cedric was magic because the saddle-girth thing.
- Is that the tree of life on the wall by the door (at 10:36)? Hmm maybe not. Actually it looks a bit like a vulva.
- "He was the most powerful sorceror who ever lived." And yet we've only heard of Merlin! Fancy that!
- FINGERLESS GLOVES! I so have glove OTPs for this fandom. I'm starting to feel like I need to write that Gothic London AU. FINGERSMITHS AND FINGERLESS GLOVES!
- "Defeat death itself"... IT'S VOLDEMORT.
- I have the feeling that Cedric may come to an untimely end.
- Oh, looky, it's another Morgana in bed scene... Yay, we get Gwen and Morgana hugs!
- There is no spoon, Uther. Gaius says so.
- I have to say, I really appreciate that the costume people haven't randomly changed Gaius' robe for the new season. (Pardon me, I think Gaius actually does get a new orange robe later. But I spotted the old grey one with the rainbow priest-stole. Where is the AU in which Gaius officiates gay marriages??)
- And now Gwen gets called in! Seriously, do the servants get any sleep in this castle? And yet the nobles are the ones that are always tired?
- By the way, Gwen's dress? Gorgeous. AND GUINEVERE.
- Arthur is totally trying to make Merlin jealous.
- "Like a blow to the head." Oh my god, such perfect Morgana.
- Okay, I don't blame Arthur for being mad at Merlin (I guess there's been wank about that?) but DUDE, WOULD MERLIN REALLY FALL ASLEEP IN HORSESHIT? Okay, on second thought, don't answer that.
- AHAHA. CLASSIC. And Cedric playing the "don't be too hard on him" card. Though if Merlin is sleeping in the hallway, no wonder he's tired... (Can I have Gwen & Merlin napping fic plz?)
- CLODPOLE LOL.
- I love how Merlin looks so sad when he hears he's getting the night off.
- I'm really glad they're going with Cedric being a thief and not an evil sorceror out to kill Arthur. That shit was getting old. Of course I still expect Merlin to save Arthur's life before the episode's over.
EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR HIM
EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR HIM
OH MY GOD SLASHER HOLIDAY!!!
- Did Merlin's room get bigger?
- ...the soul of Cornelius Sigan... WHAT DID I SAY? SIGAN'S TOTALLY AN ANCIENT.
- Ahhh... there IS an anteroom. Instead of new clothes this season, we get new rooms. Sweet.
- Aaand Cedric's about to get possessed by an Ancient. That never goes well.
- LOL RUBY FACE WASH.
- (a) I am not impressed by Cornelius' tomb defenses. Where's the mathematical riddles and shit? No wonder he didn't get to Ascend. But (b) if he wants to come alive again, why does he have defenses on it at all? Or is the poison dart thing just to weed out the very stupidest?
- Colin looks especially young this episode... did he get a haircut or something?
- Great comic fight! But attacking Cedric in front of Arthur was a terrible plan. Okay, the sleep deprivation theory is gaining ground. Obviously Uther's had those guys hacking away night after night for weeks now. That would make interesting fic... why is he so desperate to find treasure all of a sudden? Are they looking at a recession?
- Aaaand we're back to the evil sorceror plot. *yawn* Nice transformation though. He looks all 16th century nobleman now.
GWEN IN PURPLE!
- What is the point of having knights when the only one who ever does any actual fighting against the monsters is Arthur? I ask you. What? And now they're all dead? What a useless bunch. Oh, wait no, those corpses were already there.
- Awww... cliche in the extreme but yay Gwen and Arthur! And Gwen's cleavage!
ETA: We discovered that from this point on in the episode, if you add "with your bosom" or "for your bosom" or "to your bosom" to everything Arthur says, it works really well.
GOOD LORD THEY ARE BEAUTIFULLY AWKWARD. "YOU ALWAYS SURPRISE ME." "IS THAT IT, SIRE?" "YUP." I watched that three times in a row. Also GUH COLLARBONES. I LOVE DECOLLETAGE.
- Morgana has blood on her chin...
- Merlin really does not look good. That kind of worries me... he needs to have somewhere to go down to. On the other hand, maybe they're trying to keep continuity from last season? (ETA: Having watched the episode again, there's definitely a downward spiral in Merlin's appearance though even at the beginning he looks a bit peaky.)
- I wonder what average life expectancy is in Camelot?
- Dragon, I roll my eyes at you.
- It's really interesting how this season is getting off to such a dark start. I'm not used to that in a TV show.
TELEPATHY-BREATHING DRAGON!!! Merlin looks a bit overwhelmed by the stench..
- Less and less impressed with these "knights" by the moment...
APOCALYPTIC CAMELOT! Ahem.
- The Merlin-Sigan confrontation scene is shot really weirdly... it looks like Sigan's not actually looking at him. And he sounds quite wooden.
EVIL!MERLIN !!!!!!!!!!
- Oh, Merlin hiding that's he's actually Sigan (or coexisting with Sigan in his mind) would be such a great AU. [I wrote a little of this. See below.]
- Huh. It really does sound like they're saying clotpole, not clodpole.
- I was not unduly bothered by Arthur being an ungrateful jackass. I like asshole!Arthur. I don't think he's actually abusive (well, no more than my boss) but he's not exactly a soft touch either.
Comment fic, spoilers for 2x01, slashy PG, 280 words.
Originally posted on Camelot_Fleet.
"I really hope this spell works," Merlin thought. "Dragon breath is foul. Huh. Everything looks white and foggy... and I feel a little woozy. I don't feel possessed. Unless being possessed feels normal but in reality the evil sorceror in your head is using your body and taking over the world and doing sick twisted things like making Arthur take off his shir-"
"If you would shut up for one bleeding second," interrupted a voice which sounded remarkably like his own, "you would realize that I can hear every word you're thinking!"
"What?! Who said that?"
"The evil sorceror in your head."
"So... am I possessed or not?" As he said - thought - it, some of the fog cleared away and he heard Gaius' voice calling his name.
"Let's find out," the voice - it had to be Sigan - whispered nastily, and then there was an odd feeling, like someone had grabbed his throat, but from the inside. And somehow Merlin knew that the sorceror was about to make him say something sinister and superior - and really fucking stupid.
"Have you ever heard of subtlety?" Merlin hissed and grabbed back control of his body before he'd even realized he could. He looked down - it was an evil look - and he whispered a cunning little rhyme to the heart-shaped (and what a ponce Sigan had turned out to be) stone still in his hand and watched as it turned back to shimmering blue.
Then he let the cruel twist of his lips relax into a gentle, wholesome smile and turned it on Gaius.
Inside his head, a voice said, "Hrmm. You're not as bad as I thought."
SPOILERS, AHOY. But only for the first ep.
- I totally thought it was a different castle at first, not Camelot. Just an odd view of it I guess. Or maybe it's been too long since I last watched this show! The workers knocking holes in the walls also confused me and I was expecting/hoping them to become dragon snacks. Nom nom.
- Why does Merlin immediately come when Arther calls? Is he sleeping in the hallway now?
- Hallo thar shirtless Arthur with your arm over your head! Who's been giving you modelling lessons?
- I love how Gaius doesn't even mention to Uther for a while the trap and the poison darts... And how he looks guilty when Uther says people will want to steal stuff.
- He said fingersmith! FINGERSMITH!!! (Uh, I'm on a Sarah Waters kick.)
- HELLO MORE SHIRTLESS ARTHUR! We're really getting the fanservice started early, eh?
- Cedric has an earring... earrings? Not really my type but nice green eyes. And he's a fingersmith! Such an innocent look he has.
- The look on Merlin's face after he hits Cedric in the stomach cracked me up.
- That blue stone in the sarcophagus thing totally reminds me of Atlantis. (I still want Camelot/Atlantis slash, yes I do.)
ETA: I rewatched again with my boy and his reaction was "O hai Stargate. STARGATE IN MY CHEST."
- Haha, more of Arthur's dorky finger motions!
- I am getting the feeling that Cedric is basically MERLIN if his life had gone differently. Except possibly without magic?* Time will tell. I wonder if there's already Cedric/Merlin porn out there.
*I thought Cedric was magic because the saddle-girth thing.
- Is that the tree of life on the wall by the door (at 10:36)? Hmm maybe not. Actually it looks a bit like a vulva.
- "He was the most powerful sorceror who ever lived." And yet we've only heard of Merlin! Fancy that!
- FINGERLESS GLOVES! I so have glove OTPs for this fandom. I'm starting to feel like I need to write that Gothic London AU. FINGERSMITHS AND FINGERLESS GLOVES!
- "Defeat death itself"... IT'S VOLDEMORT.
- I have the feeling that Cedric may come to an untimely end.
- Oh, looky, it's another Morgana in bed scene... Yay, we get Gwen and Morgana hugs!
- There is no spoon, Uther. Gaius says so.
- I have to say, I really appreciate that the costume people haven't randomly changed Gaius' robe for the new season. (Pardon me, I think Gaius actually does get a new orange robe later. But I spotted the old grey one with the rainbow priest-stole. Where is the AU in which Gaius officiates gay marriages??)
- And now Gwen gets called in! Seriously, do the servants get any sleep in this castle? And yet the nobles are the ones that are always tired?
- By the way, Gwen's dress? Gorgeous. AND GUINEVERE.
- Arthur is totally trying to make Merlin jealous.
- "Like a blow to the head." Oh my god, such perfect Morgana.
- Okay, I don't blame Arthur for being mad at Merlin (I guess there's been wank about that?) but DUDE, WOULD MERLIN REALLY FALL ASLEEP IN HORSESHIT? Okay, on second thought, don't answer that.
- AHAHA. CLASSIC. And Cedric playing the "don't be too hard on him" card. Though if Merlin is sleeping in the hallway, no wonder he's tired... (Can I have Gwen & Merlin napping fic plz?)
- CLODPOLE LOL.
- I love how Merlin looks so sad when he hears he's getting the night off.
- I'm really glad they're going with Cedric being a thief and not an evil sorceror out to kill Arthur. That shit was getting old. Of course I still expect Merlin to save Arthur's life before the episode's over.
EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR HIM
EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR HIM
OH MY GOD SLASHER HOLIDAY!!!
- Did Merlin's room get bigger?
- ...the soul of Cornelius Sigan... WHAT DID I SAY? SIGAN'S TOTALLY AN ANCIENT.
- Ahhh... there IS an anteroom. Instead of new clothes this season, we get new rooms. Sweet.
- Aaand Cedric's about to get possessed by an Ancient. That never goes well.
- LOL RUBY FACE WASH.
- (a) I am not impressed by Cornelius' tomb defenses. Where's the mathematical riddles and shit? No wonder he didn't get to Ascend. But (b) if he wants to come alive again, why does he have defenses on it at all? Or is the poison dart thing just to weed out the very stupidest?
- Colin looks especially young this episode... did he get a haircut or something?
- Great comic fight! But attacking Cedric in front of Arthur was a terrible plan. Okay, the sleep deprivation theory is gaining ground. Obviously Uther's had those guys hacking away night after night for weeks now. That would make interesting fic... why is he so desperate to find treasure all of a sudden? Are they looking at a recession?
- Aaaand we're back to the evil sorceror plot. *yawn* Nice transformation though. He looks all 16th century nobleman now.
GWEN IN PURPLE!
- What is the point of having knights when the only one who ever does any actual fighting against the monsters is Arthur? I ask you. What? And now they're all dead? What a useless bunch. Oh, wait no, those corpses were already there.
- Awww... cliche in the extreme but yay Gwen and Arthur! And Gwen's cleavage!
ETA: We discovered that from this point on in the episode, if you add "with your bosom" or "for your bosom" or "to your bosom" to everything Arthur says, it works really well.
GOOD LORD THEY ARE BEAUTIFULLY AWKWARD. "YOU ALWAYS SURPRISE ME." "IS THAT IT, SIRE?" "YUP." I watched that three times in a row. Also GUH COLLARBONES. I LOVE DECOLLETAGE.
- Morgana has blood on her chin...
- Merlin really does not look good. That kind of worries me... he needs to have somewhere to go down to. On the other hand, maybe they're trying to keep continuity from last season? (ETA: Having watched the episode again, there's definitely a downward spiral in Merlin's appearance though even at the beginning he looks a bit peaky.)
- I wonder what average life expectancy is in Camelot?
- Dragon, I roll my eyes at you.
- It's really interesting how this season is getting off to such a dark start. I'm not used to that in a TV show.
TELEPATHY-BREATHING DRAGON!!! Merlin looks a bit overwhelmed by the stench..
- Less and less impressed with these "knights" by the moment...
APOCALYPTIC CAMELOT! Ahem.
- The Merlin-Sigan confrontation scene is shot really weirdly... it looks like Sigan's not actually looking at him. And he sounds quite wooden.
EVIL!MERLIN !!!!!!!!!!
- Oh, Merlin hiding that's he's actually Sigan (or coexisting with Sigan in his mind) would be such a great AU. [I wrote a little of this. See below.]
- Huh. It really does sound like they're saying clotpole, not clodpole.
- I was not unduly bothered by Arthur being an ungrateful jackass. I like asshole!Arthur. I don't think he's actually abusive (well, no more than my boss) but he's not exactly a soft touch either.
Comment fic, spoilers for 2x01, slashy PG, 280 words.
Originally posted on Camelot_Fleet.
"I really hope this spell works," Merlin thought. "Dragon breath is foul. Huh. Everything looks white and foggy... and I feel a little woozy. I don't feel possessed. Unless being possessed feels normal but in reality the evil sorceror in your head is using your body and taking over the world and doing sick twisted things like making Arthur take off his shir-"
"If you would shut up for one bleeding second," interrupted a voice which sounded remarkably like his own, "you would realize that I can hear every word you're thinking!"
"What?! Who said that?"
"The evil sorceror in your head."
"So... am I possessed or not?" As he said - thought - it, some of the fog cleared away and he heard Gaius' voice calling his name.
"Let's find out," the voice - it had to be Sigan - whispered nastily, and then there was an odd feeling, like someone had grabbed his throat, but from the inside. And somehow Merlin knew that the sorceror was about to make him say something sinister and superior - and really fucking stupid.
"Have you ever heard of subtlety?" Merlin hissed and grabbed back control of his body before he'd even realized he could. He looked down - it was an evil look - and he whispered a cunning little rhyme to the heart-shaped (and what a ponce Sigan had turned out to be) stone still in his hand and watched as it turned back to shimmering blue.
Then he let the cruel twist of his lips relax into a gentle, wholesome smile and turned it on Gaius.
Inside his head, a voice said, "Hrmm. You're not as bad as I thought."