other stuff...mostly about Nana
So, I'm not going to write about my brother and his issue here, that's his thing. If I know you, you probably already know anyway. I'll just say that it's hard to deal with...he'll get whatever punishment is coming to him, he's 30 years old... It's just strange as his sister, because he hasn't ever been in any trouble before, I *know* he's a good person, he just screwed up. I know it happens. I just...wish it didn't happen.
Nana: she's ok now, she only spent four days in the hospital, and I suspect it would've been less but it was over the weekend, and not much happens in terms of discharges over the weekend. The drama surrounding this (which she didn't know about, thank god) was ridiculous, though. It started Thursday night when I called her around 7pm. No answer. 9pm, no answer again. 11pm and 11:30 (Nana is a night owl, FWIW) and still no answer! Okay, one time, she's in the bathtub or something. But she's not going to just NOT answer her phone all night, she's 90 years old, she is going to be home for the evening. So at 11:45 I called upstairs because of course I'm picturing her on the floor with a broken hip, or worse. My mother answered the phone. I said, "Could you please go check on Nana? I've been calling her all evening and she hasn't answered her phone." Mom: "Oh, I was going to phone you tomorrow...she's in the hospital." Me: "What?! What's wrong with her? What's going on?! Why wouldn't you phone me when she was ADMITTED to the hospital?!" Mom told me that she had fluid in her lungs and she was getting it drained. I said, "So is this a big deal, like why does she have fluid on her lungs? Should I miss work and go see her? Is it bad?" Mom said that she didn't know, but it sounded like it might just be overnight, they just had to drain the fluid, that it was "my choice" (her favorite fucking phrase, usually used when I actually have no choice) to miss work or not, but she wouldn't give me any more information, and then she started getting mad that I'd woken her up. I'm like, "Seriously?! What's a bigger deal, Nana is in the hospital and you not bothering to tell me, or me waking you up?!" OMFG. Also, I asked which ward she was on and she wouldn't tell me that, either. Anyway, she said she'd phone me tomorrow. I gave her my cell phone number, I don't know if she even had it. Tomorrow, May 9th, comes. I didn't hear from Mom all day that I was at work. Okay, she's working too, but when it was like 5pm I STILL hadn't heard from her...? I was on the phone with Carina then, and I told her all this, I'm like, "I think she's still in the hospital but I don't even know" and Carina is like, "I'm working tonight! I'll go look for your grandma for you!" I was so, SO incredibly grateful at this but it also felt so ridiculous, like I was so lucky to have a friend who works at the hospital and is willing to go hunt down my grandma for me, but my own mother won't even tell me? WTF?! And it was a very familiar feeling, feeling lucky in being unlucky. I then called Mom, who said Nana was still in the hospital. I said, "You said you would call me...why didn't you call me? What is going on? Where is she?" Mom said, "You're a nurse, you figure it out." I was like, "I CAN'T just go on the computer and look for my own family member...I would get in a lot of trouble for that! My friend is working tonight and she said she'd go look for her, this is so stupid, why won't you just TELL ME where she is? She's my grandma and I think I have a right to know!" So then Mom told me what ward she was on, and I just picked up my purse and headed out the door. I texted Carina that I knew now, and in the most amazing coincidence, Carina (who is a casual LPN) was working on that ward tonight! That felt like the best news ever at that point.
By the time I got to the hospital I had a text from Carina confirming that she was at work and she'd already seen my grandma. I ran into her on the ward and just HUGGED HER, and she was like, "Your grandma's right over there!", pointing to the room. I went in to see Nana, who was totally fine lying there in bed, and we talked for awhile. She said Mom had taken her to the doctor on Thursday because she'd been increasingly SOB, and the doctor had said to go to the hospital immediately, so they did. She'd had 2L of fluid drained from one lung...omg!! She said the procedure was awkward because of the positioning, but it wasn't bad and she felt fine now. She said Kristie was going to give Sammie her insulin. We talked about Sammie (her favorite subject!) and what she must be thinking and how she'd probably snub Nana when she got home. All seemed quite stable and good, and I was very glad for that. I told her I was miscarrying (she knew it was going to happen) but I didn't mention my brother since I wasn't sure she knew. I stayed for about an hour, thanked Carina AGAIN (who wasn't her nurse, but told me she'd go in and spend some time with her if she could.) I left feeling...okay.
Nana got out of the hospital on Monday and the way she was talking about it, you'd think she'd been on vacation. She had been bored at times and she missed her cat, but she thought the staff (especially Carina!) was great, she liked talking to the other visitors who came in (one family who was visiting someone else in the room kept talking to her apparently), she liked the food (??). Carina wasn't her nurse but she worked two nights over the weekend, and she made a point of sitting with Nana and visiting with her and showing her pics/videos of her kids. Nana felt so special that Carina had spent time with her, she thought Carina was "the sweetest person I've ever met in my life!" and it was especially cool because I take care of Carina's kids sometimes and Nana always hears about them from me. So that was so, SO awesome, and I am so incredibly grateful to Carina that she was THERE, she is such a good friend. Oh and also, in typical Nana fashion, she told me, "I didn't ring the call bell ONCE! because I didn't want to bother anyone." (This is not from me complaining about call bells or anything, this is just...Nana being Nana.)
I was kind of irritated at myself though, since I'd actually noticed that she was short of breath in the past two times I saw her, but she'd fallen and bruised her ribs a few weeks earlier, possibly even lightly fractured them, so it had actually made sense that she was SOBOE, I presumed that was the cause. It didn't occur to me that there was something else going on at the same time. And we still don't know why... I tried to ask Nana but she didn't know, she also doesn't seem to care at this point since she feels better. I know it could be due to heart or kidney failure, but they apparently took all sorts of tests at the hospital, her own doctor saw her there and they still released her... I wonder if it could've somehow been triggered by the fall/bone fragment piercing the pleural lining somehow? An infection? I really have no idea, but I've been asking her if she's gotten any more SOB and she hasn't. If it's heart or kidney, it will come back. ANYWAY...she is 90 years old and still able to do her own thing in her suite, all her own cooking and cleaning and taking care of her cat, doing her knitting and gardening, TV and Internet...and she says she feels fine and doesn't want to see the doctor unless she HAS to...I guess we just take it week by week, month by month for now. I feel like I SHOULD know more, but if my mother knows she's not going to tell me, and Nana is kind of vague and just doesn't care... So what can I do?
I am at the very least glad that my mom took time out of her busy(?!) schedule to take my grandma to the doctor, like DID something about it when she thought she needed to. She seems to make the minimal effort with Nana as far as I can see (although she and David did recently get her a headset so she could hear the TV better, that was huge) so I was glad she did that. I presume if she knows something, she will follow up on it. My sister-don't get me started on what she WON'T do for my grandma because of her own issues, but at least she was giving Sam her insulin, so Nana didn't have to worry about that. The two of them LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE as Nana, and it's so frustrating when it feels like I'm always saying, "Oh, you need milk? Why don't I pick that up for you?" etc. when I live an hour away. And it's not that I mind picking up milk or whatever, it's just...this doesn't really make sense when she lives with two able-bodied people who have cars, one who doesn't even work!! BUT things are as they are, and at least...you know, it worked out this time.
And I am so grateful to Carina I can't say. She was telling me how nice my grandma was, that she was "just like you!" and that she was glad she got a chance to know Nana. I had forgotten that Nana had knitted Zachary a sweater when he was born (he's almost 6 now) and they talked about that, too. She is SUCH a good friend, and I know Nana just thought she was amazing, and felt so special she'd taken the time to sit with her and stuff. The fact she was totally happy to do this...I am SO GRATEFUL to her. She is such a good friend, and I feel so fortunate she was working there those nights.
All's well that end's well, even if just for now.
Nana: she's ok now, she only spent four days in the hospital, and I suspect it would've been less but it was over the weekend, and not much happens in terms of discharges over the weekend. The drama surrounding this (which she didn't know about, thank god) was ridiculous, though. It started Thursday night when I called her around 7pm. No answer. 9pm, no answer again. 11pm and 11:30 (Nana is a night owl, FWIW) and still no answer! Okay, one time, she's in the bathtub or something. But she's not going to just NOT answer her phone all night, she's 90 years old, she is going to be home for the evening. So at 11:45 I called upstairs because of course I'm picturing her on the floor with a broken hip, or worse. My mother answered the phone. I said, "Could you please go check on Nana? I've been calling her all evening and she hasn't answered her phone." Mom: "Oh, I was going to phone you tomorrow...she's in the hospital." Me: "What?! What's wrong with her? What's going on?! Why wouldn't you phone me when she was ADMITTED to the hospital?!" Mom told me that she had fluid in her lungs and she was getting it drained. I said, "So is this a big deal, like why does she have fluid on her lungs? Should I miss work and go see her? Is it bad?" Mom said that she didn't know, but it sounded like it might just be overnight, they just had to drain the fluid, that it was "my choice" (her favorite fucking phrase, usually used when I actually have no choice) to miss work or not, but she wouldn't give me any more information, and then she started getting mad that I'd woken her up. I'm like, "Seriously?! What's a bigger deal, Nana is in the hospital and you not bothering to tell me, or me waking you up?!" OMFG. Also, I asked which ward she was on and she wouldn't tell me that, either. Anyway, she said she'd phone me tomorrow. I gave her my cell phone number, I don't know if she even had it. Tomorrow, May 9th, comes. I didn't hear from Mom all day that I was at work. Okay, she's working too, but when it was like 5pm I STILL hadn't heard from her...? I was on the phone with Carina then, and I told her all this, I'm like, "I think she's still in the hospital but I don't even know" and Carina is like, "I'm working tonight! I'll go look for your grandma for you!" I was so, SO incredibly grateful at this but it also felt so ridiculous, like I was so lucky to have a friend who works at the hospital and is willing to go hunt down my grandma for me, but my own mother won't even tell me? WTF?! And it was a very familiar feeling, feeling lucky in being unlucky. I then called Mom, who said Nana was still in the hospital. I said, "You said you would call me...why didn't you call me? What is going on? Where is she?" Mom said, "You're a nurse, you figure it out." I was like, "I CAN'T just go on the computer and look for my own family member...I would get in a lot of trouble for that! My friend is working tonight and she said she'd go look for her, this is so stupid, why won't you just TELL ME where she is? She's my grandma and I think I have a right to know!" So then Mom told me what ward she was on, and I just picked up my purse and headed out the door. I texted Carina that I knew now, and in the most amazing coincidence, Carina (who is a casual LPN) was working on that ward tonight! That felt like the best news ever at that point.
By the time I got to the hospital I had a text from Carina confirming that she was at work and she'd already seen my grandma. I ran into her on the ward and just HUGGED HER, and she was like, "Your grandma's right over there!", pointing to the room. I went in to see Nana, who was totally fine lying there in bed, and we talked for awhile. She said Mom had taken her to the doctor on Thursday because she'd been increasingly SOB, and the doctor had said to go to the hospital immediately, so they did. She'd had 2L of fluid drained from one lung...omg!! She said the procedure was awkward because of the positioning, but it wasn't bad and she felt fine now. She said Kristie was going to give Sammie her insulin. We talked about Sammie (her favorite subject!) and what she must be thinking and how she'd probably snub Nana when she got home. All seemed quite stable and good, and I was very glad for that. I told her I was miscarrying (she knew it was going to happen) but I didn't mention my brother since I wasn't sure she knew. I stayed for about an hour, thanked Carina AGAIN (who wasn't her nurse, but told me she'd go in and spend some time with her if she could.) I left feeling...okay.
Nana got out of the hospital on Monday and the way she was talking about it, you'd think she'd been on vacation. She had been bored at times and she missed her cat, but she thought the staff (especially Carina!) was great, she liked talking to the other visitors who came in (one family who was visiting someone else in the room kept talking to her apparently), she liked the food (??). Carina wasn't her nurse but she worked two nights over the weekend, and she made a point of sitting with Nana and visiting with her and showing her pics/videos of her kids. Nana felt so special that Carina had spent time with her, she thought Carina was "the sweetest person I've ever met in my life!" and it was especially cool because I take care of Carina's kids sometimes and Nana always hears about them from me. So that was so, SO awesome, and I am so incredibly grateful to Carina that she was THERE, she is such a good friend. Oh and also, in typical Nana fashion, she told me, "I didn't ring the call bell ONCE! because I didn't want to bother anyone." (This is not from me complaining about call bells or anything, this is just...Nana being Nana.)
I was kind of irritated at myself though, since I'd actually noticed that she was short of breath in the past two times I saw her, but she'd fallen and bruised her ribs a few weeks earlier, possibly even lightly fractured them, so it had actually made sense that she was SOBOE, I presumed that was the cause. It didn't occur to me that there was something else going on at the same time. And we still don't know why... I tried to ask Nana but she didn't know, she also doesn't seem to care at this point since she feels better. I know it could be due to heart or kidney failure, but they apparently took all sorts of tests at the hospital, her own doctor saw her there and they still released her... I wonder if it could've somehow been triggered by the fall/bone fragment piercing the pleural lining somehow? An infection? I really have no idea, but I've been asking her if she's gotten any more SOB and she hasn't. If it's heart or kidney, it will come back. ANYWAY...she is 90 years old and still able to do her own thing in her suite, all her own cooking and cleaning and taking care of her cat, doing her knitting and gardening, TV and Internet...and she says she feels fine and doesn't want to see the doctor unless she HAS to...I guess we just take it week by week, month by month for now. I feel like I SHOULD know more, but if my mother knows she's not going to tell me, and Nana is kind of vague and just doesn't care... So what can I do?
I am at the very least glad that my mom took time out of her busy(?!) schedule to take my grandma to the doctor, like DID something about it when she thought she needed to. She seems to make the minimal effort with Nana as far as I can see (although she and David did recently get her a headset so she could hear the TV better, that was huge) so I was glad she did that. I presume if she knows something, she will follow up on it. My sister-don't get me started on what she WON'T do for my grandma because of her own issues, but at least she was giving Sam her insulin, so Nana didn't have to worry about that. The two of them LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE as Nana, and it's so frustrating when it feels like I'm always saying, "Oh, you need milk? Why don't I pick that up for you?" etc. when I live an hour away. And it's not that I mind picking up milk or whatever, it's just...this doesn't really make sense when she lives with two able-bodied people who have cars, one who doesn't even work!! BUT things are as they are, and at least...you know, it worked out this time.
And I am so grateful to Carina I can't say. She was telling me how nice my grandma was, that she was "just like you!" and that she was glad she got a chance to know Nana. I had forgotten that Nana had knitted Zachary a sweater when he was born (he's almost 6 now) and they talked about that, too. She is SUCH a good friend, and I know Nana just thought she was amazing, and felt so special she'd taken the time to sit with her and stuff. The fact she was totally happy to do this...I am SO GRATEFUL to her. She is such a good friend, and I feel so fortunate she was working there those nights.
All's well that end's well, even if just for now.