[B24] WILL YOU STAY WITH ME? (1/2)

[kaisooaufest]

Prompt Code: B24
Title: Will You Stay With Me?
Rating: NC-17 / R
Side Pairings (if any): Sekai / slight!Krisoo
Warnings: violence, gore, hard-to-open-up-jongin, depression, loss-of-loved-one, language, Walkers (Zombies)
Word Count: 16.2k
Summary: Jongin cannot move on when he lost his lover in the apocalypse. Later, he met Kyungsoo that can mend his broken heart.
Song(s): /Religiously listened to Zion T’s Eureka (LISTEN IT’S LIT), AND LUCKY ONE (WHICH I LOVE MORE THAN LIFE)
AN: Wow I can’t believe I pulled this out of my ass. I want to thank some people who have helped me so much while figuring this out, and the majority of them didn’t even know what it was about, i was just whining to them hahah! Wow i was a pain in the ass this time around when writing this. I’m not going to say exact names of people since it might be easy for some to figure out who I am, but I want to thank B for dealing with my constant freak outs of deadlines and other shit bc I def am a hassle LOL, and you didn’t even read or beta fic HAHA. ALso TO MY ACTUAL BETA. Girl you are the best I could have ever asked for omg you’re a blessing. If you ever need me to beta for you, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. To my best friend who stayed up late with me and was there for me when I needed her most and stepped in as an emotional support system when I was super stressed. Bless you. And to the Canadian who calls me a meme who did final check ups on me. THank you. AND Most thanks to my computer who decided it was okay to break three days before the deadline :)) (Not sure how to sign this) uh - Author-Nim … TBA;))



Jongin’s heart pounded in his ears as he rushed to wipe his mud-caked boots on the scratchy welcome mat that laid outside his apartment. It was a shabby home he had stumbled upon more than six months ago, when the infection had begun to spread more violently. It was a one bed, one bath apartment with a three story building complex to match. It would’ve be a perfect home for two, if it wasn’t for the fact that it was practically the worst time to be alive.

Jongin turned around and shut the door, bolting the deadlocks on the top, listening for them to click in place and then checking them once more. Just to be sure. Leaning against the back of the door, he took a much needed breath. His shoulders visibly relaxing as he shuddered out the air from his lungs. He clenched his fingers around his belongings, double checking for their presence. On his left, he held an abused and slightly torn brown paper bag, a rifle on his right. Fully loaded. Setting the bag onto the filthy carpet (which he occasionally liked to imagine was once a creamy white color) he slung his rifle off of his shoulder and placed it gently against the wall.

It had been weeks since the government came out of their shells, making a country-wide announcement that new refugee camps were being set up for the remaining survivors. They made a promise that the world wasn’t lost, and that the walkers would all perish soon.

Jongin didn’t believe the shit they were saying anymore. He couldn’t… not after everything that had happened in the last few years. Walkers still traveled in through this small deserted town, and God forbid he ignorantly walk about completely unarmed, just so he could be the victim of a bullshit announcement some high class pricks were spewing. They probably had no idea how bad it was out here. And so he preferred to stay inside, where he knew he would be safe.

He was somewhat in the mountains of Colorado Springs, much to his dismay. Jongin was originally from a thriving beach community in southern California, moving inland for college at his parent’s request. Back in high school, he spent his spare time coasting the big blue. He loved the feeling of the sun dancing on the water and kissing his lightly tanned skin. Laughing as he’d shake the sand from his dark chocolate hair unto his friends who had just washed themselves off in the community showers. He couldn’t actually remember exactly how he picked up surfing. It was just kind of an inevitable escape he ultimately found himself attached to. The ocean cleared his mind, and gave him an excuse to tone his muscles without having to hit the gym like all of the other jocks at school. It was funny how different he was compared to his older brother, Joonmyun. His brother was the traditional athlete that everyone knew and loved, while Jongin kept to the background and out of the spotlight. The Kim brothers were the biggest heart breakers of the school, and the best of friends. While Joonmyun was charismatic and kind, he was a major playboy. Little Jongin was a textbook bad boy… but only appearance wise. On the inside he was nothing but a softie, completely dedicated and oozing with romance. It kept him from becoming the man his brother did, well, that and a few factors. Either way, there was never a dull moment for anyone while they were around.

He hated to admit it, but he missed his annoying older brother and his parents. Mostly, he missed the salt of the ocean. It baffled him that he had managed to move to Colorado of all fucking places. He hated the mountains with so much passion, he could have probably destroyed them with a single glare. The air was nice, he supposed, but the vast greens and rocky greys made him ache deep inside, wishing they were blues and whites. The depth of the dark rocks hit a soft spot, they looked too much like the eyes of those he once knew. He couldn’t bare to look at them for long. Colorado made him feel claustrophobic. It could be undeniably compared to suffocating or being stuck in Disneyland’s crowd on Christmas Day (an analogy he often used in college and was promptly overlooked since they were in Colorado and not California).

Lucky for him the town was far away from everyone, which helped with his fear of crowds (not that there were really any at this point). It also meant only a few walkers came this way. He could usually walk around the isolated town without even seeing a walker, except for the one that laid butchered and de-limbed in the apartment parking lot due to an unfortunate escapade caused by a now deceased friend. His friend had gotten a bit carried away amidst his mental breakdown, and rather than cause noise with his gun and stir any surrounding walkers, he slaughtered the thing piece by piece, leaving it to rot. Jongin had heavily insisted on just bashing its head in quietly, but his friend hadn’t listened to him. He was pretty sure the guy was into all of that weird gore shit, but it didn’t matter anymore. He wouldn’t have freaked out the way he did had he known it would have been the last time he would ever see his friends.

The Government had intentions of building a wall-like structure, which kind of reminded him of Attack on Titan. But that was anime, and anime wasn’t real… or so they thought. It was kind of hard to think that way when things had become unraveled and chaotic. Of course, the wall didn’t do anything but corner everyone as a flood of decaying, half-dead things came shuffling in. His imagination burdened him with horrifying images of screaming mothers looking for their families, children becoming lost in trance and torn apart, men and women alike sacrificing themselves to these beasts to save people they loved. It didn’t exactly surprise him that this had happened, especially with all of the noise they were probably making. That’s why Jongin had stayed behind in his apartment, when his group left for the wall. He knew nothing was ever really safe.

It had just been him and seven others up until a few months ago. They were all relatively close friends or casual acquaintances from college. They had banded together when everything became chaotic, never once turning back on each other. Jongin learned more about himself than he thought he knew, and he gained knowledge from all the horrible experiences he went through. He also learned certain rules for survival, which weren’t exactly easy coming (it’s not like they teach this shit at a university).

The rules were simple:

1. Don’t trust anyone unless you knew them before the outbreak,
2. Don’t join a group unless you’re willing to make compromises/major sacrifices, and like sharing,
3. Don’t. Fucking. Fire. A. Gun. It attracts walkers, and most importantly,
4. Don’t get attached.

This was the real world now, and no matter what you do, you can’t save the people you love. Jongin already learned that the hard way.

Every once in awhile he would hear the shuffling of dirt from the walkers surrounding his complex, walking around aimlessly, serving the purpose of their name. Jongin had never liked confrontation, and continued to avoid people, and even more so when the only remaining ones were out for a snack, not a conversation. The only flaw was that instead of running for supplies and facing a walker or two, he prefered to cower. He always took more than what was necessary when it came to his supplies. He really never knew when another walker would come by. He just prayed he had enough to last him until the coast was clear. Which brought him to now. Planting himself face first onto the couch and staring at the little brown bag.

With the resources Jongin was able to find, he deemed himself pretty lucky considering the grand scheme of things. For starters he wasn’t in a huge town like Denver, where walkers stalked every inch of the city, and he had a whole town all to himself. Such comfort in knowing you’re alone was a luxury nobody could afford anymore, but Jongin was willing to take that chance. His eyes fluttered in exhaustion, since couldn’t get any sleep the previous night. And the night before that. And the night before that. The nightmares were coming back, and they had been playing at his strings for weeks now. Sleep fogged his mind, and he drifted… down… down…down…

BANG

Jongin stuttered awake, sliding off from the couch in panic.

“What the actual fuck?” Jongin muttered under his breath as he creeped over to the boarded up windows on the far side of the living room. He peeked through the cracks of the pieces of wood that he had nailed up. His eyes searched for a source, only to lay them upon a surprisingly pale boy. His back was facing the building, but Jongin could sense his hands were trembling, finger pulled around a pistol trigger. The guy was staring (Jongin assumed) at something further ahead, probably the walker he shot. He positioned to take aim again.

“What the fuck is this kid doing?!” Jongin screeched to no one in particular, lunging for his rifle and ripping open the deadlocks, swinging the door open as fast and as reckless as possible. He mentally screamed at himself over his stupidity, but the voice drowned amongst his worry for the stranger’s life, and for the possibility of a second wave. He tripped down the stairs, running into the broken railing and continuing to dangerously hurl himself down until he reached the door of the complex, throwing it open as well and venturing back out into the sunlight.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

The young boy whipped his head around. His eyes were glistening with tears, large and doe-like. Plump lips pursed and bruised from biting back screams. He was frail, but who wasn’t skinny from near-starvation anymore? His skin soft and without blemish, another surprise. Jongin easily towered over him, which was a tad amusing, given that Jongin wasn’t exactly considered “tall”. The kid’s faded Jansport backpack looked to be about 10 bricks heavy. His raven black hair was rugged and disgusting, and he’d most likely been traveling for weeks nonstop.

Taking a deep breath Jongin walked towards him, noticing that he had shot the walker that had been lying in the parking ever since his friend had left it to rot.

He sighed and took a quick note of his surroundings. He knew it wouldn’t be safe in the parking lot for much longer. It was only a matter of time before the first walker showed up.

The last time he heard a gun go off was a good four months ago. He was stupid and scared and shot a walker that wasn’t even moving half as fast as himself. It took about a week for the town to finally clear out to the point where he could sneak out to get supplies, and even then it was difficult to move around because there were still walkers everywhere, and it cost him big time.

Jongin knew that walkers, as slow as they were, would begin to pile in by the numbers. And he preferred to not stick around. He cautiously motioned for the stranger to follow him, not really giving himself time to think of the potential consequences of such thoughtless actions. He reached for his arm and slowly jolted him forward, an action that was quickly shot down. In his fright, the boy planted his feet firmly to the concrete, frozen in place like a deer.

“Stop struggling! I’m trying to fucking help you.” Harsh whispers shook the boy from his trance, and by the time he came to Jongin’s nails were dug into the kid’s exposed arm, and he was already pulling him up the stairs as quickly as he could.

“Hey owl eyes, if you want to be eaten alive by walkers that’s all fine and well, but as for me I’m getting my ass inside. So if you would quit struggling and let me help your trigger-happy ass, we would be safe a lot faster.”

The young man blinked a few times before focusing on Jongin’s face, not even hearing the insults. He nodded his head absentmindedly, finally finding the strength to move his legs and walk with Jongin, letting himself be led inside the apartment. Jongin sighed, running his left hand through his locks, a habit he picked up from stress during his small time in college.

As they entered the apartments, Jongin shut the doors quickly, locking and relocking, waiting for that click. Then he took the couches from the lobby and boarded up the doors so that not a single person, or thing, could get in.

The newcomer just stood and watched Jongin do all the work, before his wrist was gripped again and he was pulled up another set of stairs. The two of them went up in silence, the creaking wood was echoing quietly as their feet stressed the steps. Jongin entered his apartment on the third and final floor, dragging the nearly dead weight behind him. He quickly shut the door and put in the deadbolts for the second time that day. He took a deep breath and motioned the other to come and sit with him on the couch he previously had been napping on.

Jongin sat, and watched as the other awkwardly placed himself gently onto the couch. Jongin hadn’t thought that it was possible for the guy to be scared of some stranger dragging him into their apartment. He shook the thought away, eyeing the boy in case he tried to pull anything. Instead, the boy gripped the handles of his backpack like they were the strings that held his life. He sighed and closed his eyes for a second before attempting to initiate some kind of conversation. The kid coughed, and put a hand up to his mouth. Jongin’s eyes traveled over the red, angry laceration that stained the boy’s arm. Greens and yellows bloomed under the fragile skin while the cut flared and throbbed. Blood still gushed in small, thick increments.. But most of it had dried and caked onto the edges, causing the kid to itch at himself, much Jongin’s dismay.

Jongin’s eyes bulged. “Shit, kid.” he rose to fetch his first aid kit. It probably wasn’t the best idea for him to be wasting supplies on some random guy, but it was the first time he had real human contact in months. He reached for the little white box and towel, stored safely under the bathroom sink.

“What the hell happened?”

The stranger shrugged. “The fence on 3rd Street.” His voice was small and unsure.

Jongin turned over the others arm and felt him wince visibly. It was still bleeding, and much more profusely that he initially had anticipated. Luckily it looked like the fence didn’t hit anything vital. The kid should be counting his blessings, Jongin thought to himself, as he took the towel and hydrogen peroxide and poured a gracious amount over the arm. Jongin looked up to find the other biting down at his lip, worrying it aggressively. He wanted to scream out, Jongin knew that much, just thank God he didn’t. He set down the peroxide and began to dab the towel around the wound, trying his best to press gently.

“Yeah, kid, I’m sorry… but you’ve gotten yourself a nasty cut here. Hopefully this will do for now.”

The boy stared down at his arm, trying to even his breath.

“My name’s not ‘Kid’.”

Jongin quirked a brow and peered up at the other, pursing his lips as he waited for an answer. It never came.

He cleared his throat. “Well then, enlighten me, owl eyes.”

The other rolled his eyes and snatched his arm away, only to wince in pain, which made Jongin smirk in satisfaction.

“It’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.” He hesitated a few beats. “And you are…?”

“Kim Jongin.” He let Kyungsoo wrap his arm in the towel before plopping down beside him, allowing for space in between. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, then turned to Kyungsoo.

“Yo, what the HELL was that out there?” Kyungsoo’s somewhat relaxed posture stiffened as he retracted into himself.

“What? I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“You could have killed yourself out there! Don’t you know loud noises attract them? That gun could have called out to a whole swarm of them!”

Kyungsoo scoffed, rolling his eyes and staring down Jongin. “It’s just a stupid walker, Jongin. Who cares?”

Jongin stood, using his height against the boy. “Don’t you try and fucking tell me that one walker was coming after you. I’ve been watching that thing for… for too damned long!” He ran his fingers through his hair, stopping halfway and tugging. “And judging by your arm, you probably wouldn’t have had the strength to make it over the other fence, let alone to open a door!”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “What-fucking-ever man.. I’m pretty sure you’re too far into your head. When’s the last time you even went outside?”

He gaped at the other. How fucking dare he? This ignorant jackass just fucking questioned him… when he was the one who nearly got himself killed.

Jongin sighed, calming himself before continuing to explain the danger the other had potentially put himself through. Well… put them both through.

“Look… the noise from the pistol attracts them. It’s like a calling to them that something living is moving. It’s like ringing a bell or calling for your dog when the food is ready. I don’t know if you know this, but there’s probably fucking millions of these things slinking around this country at this point. And while this town may not have had a lot of people, it faced a great loss when a swarm of them came in and just ate away at everything. They might have left more behind than what we known, and I’d rather not fucking risk it.”

Kyungsoo’s shoulders sunk with the weight of Jongin’s words.

“But, don’t you kill them all of the time? There’s literally one dismembered like crazy right in front of your door.” He pointed directly below them in exaggeration

He shook his head. “Not usually. But that’s not the point.” He shifted his weight onto his right hip, placing one hand on his hip and the other pointing accusingly at the boy. “You’re an idiot if you don’t know basic shit like that. How have you even survived this shit storm if you can’t even figure out basic survival skills? Who the fuck thought it was a great idea to let you out on your own?! Don’t you know that once you build things with fire, it’s game over?”

Kyungsoo slammed the towel down onto the floor and stood, moving to occupy Jongin’s space.

“Fuck you! Trash talk all you want, asshole. And it’s ‘you can’t fight fire with fire,’ you moron.”

Kyungsoo’s brows drew together. They could easily bench press like 350 Jongin caught himself thinking. More fierce than the entirety of a drag queen, but he wasn’t about to let that distract him from the main point. Kyungsoo inhaled like he was about to go off again, but instead he became sullen and sunk back onto the couch.

“Besides… nobody let me on my own. I’m the only one left from my group.”

Jongin kept quiet, unsure how to progress in the conversation when Kyungsoo scoffed again.

“And anyway… who the hell thought it was a good idea to set up camp here and not go with the refugees?”

He shrugged and shook his head. “One, the government doesn’t do jack shit for us. Secondly, did you really think anybody in their right mind would have gone there? The stupid fucks cornered them and left them to die to be attacked by these things.”

Jongin slowly walked over to the window, remembering how his friends had the same reaction to him staying here.

“You seriously want to go walk into a death trap? I don’t advice it, especially with those walkers starting to form up outside.”

Kyungsoo stood and peered out from behind Jongin’s arm, and sure enough, there they were. At least five bodies huddled emotionless, grey skin sinking and intestines decorating their open torsos. There were more on their way, Jongin could hear them in the distance.

“You can either get eaten here, in this shit little town, get eaten out there in whatever is beyond. Or try to survive.” Jongin turned towards the other. “It’s up to you.” He raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. “But as for me, I’m staying inside.”

A lighthearted chuckle escaped Kyungsoo, who burst into giggles, and finally, full blown laughter.

“I’m glad to know you practice your speech in front of a mirror Jongin” Kyungsoo bit back and shrugged off his backpack. “That’s just great. Now I’m stuck here. With you.” Kyungsoo mumbled the last bit to himself while frowning.

“Oh shut up.” Jongin rolled his eyes. “It could be a lot worse, you could be still outside with walkers on the way, or you could be stuck with a psycho.” Jongin paused, looking Kyungsoo dead in the eye with a mischievous smirk.

“How do I know you’re not a psycho?”

“…Know that I’m not a- HEY! YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Kyungsoo busted at the seams in laughter.

“Yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up. I bet that was the only insult you could have thrown at me. What are you, 12?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “I’m 22 this year, I just look really young.”

Jongin’s brows furrowed. “What the hell? There’s no way you’re 22.”

Kyungsoo guffawed, nodding his head ‘yes’ in response. Jongin let out a playful whine.

“Dammit, I’m only 20” Jongin pouted.

Kyungsoo smiled at that, and out of the corner of his eyes Jongin noticed the other’s lips formed a heart. Cute, he thought as he studied the other’s face. Kyungsoo coughed after the two of them were staring at each other for a few more minutes that what would be called comfortable. Jongin awkwardly sniffled and rubbed his nose before he pointed to his room.

“This is my room if you need something. I’ll get you some blankets so you can sleep out here. It’s pretty cold at night. You know… Colorado and all that shebang.”

Kyungsoo nodded in response, the atmosphere changing considerably as Jongin awkwardly and hurriedly made his way to his room to fetch blankets. It was the first time Kyungsoo actually looked around Jongin’s apartment, noticing the lack of pictures wondering if there were some in his room. The walls were bare, and the kitchen was clean surprisingly, compared to the rest of the place. There wasn’t really a whole lot out of place, making him assume someone else lived here also, perhaps his girlfriend or lover.

“So uhm,” he began, “Do you live alone?” Kyungsoo tried breaking the silence with his own curiosity, and looked up at Jongin as he walked back into the room, hopeful, and just a bit idiotically.

“No shit man. There isn’t anyone else around here for miles.” he laughed as he sat down next to the elder, dumping the pile of fleece and other assortments of material onto the half gone arm of the couch. The younger took in a harsh breath making the atmosphere change before nodding his head.

“I haven’t seen anyone in… in a quite a long time. This apartment wasn’t mine to begin with if you were wondering.” He paused and looked up at Kyungsoo before letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“And you? First time around this area? I’m getting the city boy vibe from you, kiddo.” Kyungsoo elbowed Jongin with his arm

“Oh, fuck off.” He made a small cough and covered his mouth with his fist.

“You’re terrible at placing people.” Kyungsoo teased, crossing his right leg over his left to lean against the back of the couch and face Jongin properly. He held his damaged arm close to his chest. “I was born and raised in Montana, went to University of Denver for college. And we can see how far that went.” He scoffed as he finished his sentence.

Jongin nodded, and Kyungsoo continued. “I’ve been traveling alone for a long time… the majority of my friends and I were separated in the beginning. There was so much chaos and destruction when it started, I lost my boyfriend in a mass of people while trying to leave the campus. But now I’m not so alone right?” Kyungsoo was looking down at his shoes, with his fist still partially over his mouth, making him mumble the last few words.

“I mean we can keep each other company for now… right?” Jongin nodded.

“Yeah.” He said with a monotone voice. “I’ll be around if you need me. We’ll eat in a while, but don’t do anything stupid or screw up your arm again.”

Kyungsoo bobbed his head, a little confused with how he was being treated. His eyes followed Jongin as he made his way into his room before a slam resonated throughout the apartment. Kyungsoo jumped in his seat, left to wonder what the hell he said wrong. It seemed, to Kyungsoo, that Jongin was a man of mystery.

*

A couple of days had passed since Jongin had saved Kyungsoo from the outside world.

Kyungsoo slept on the couch on the nights that followed. It was his new residence in Jongin’s apartment, and it allowed him to sleep peacefully for the first time in months. He never once woke to the sound of internal panic, and the hours were spent somewhat blissful. Kyungsoo didn’t understand why he felt so safe here with Jongin, even though there was a possibility that Jongin could be a psychopathic killer… or something of the sort. It didn’t quite make sense to him, but he liked to trust his gut instinct, especially since that’s what has been keeping him alive.

When he woke, he looked up at the white ceiling, sighing as his stomach began to growl at him. It bounced off the walls and echoed across the apartment living room. Kyungsoo flushed in his own embarrassment, pressing on his stomach with his good arm. Just eat yourself, you noisy brat. He mentally told his stomach. Slowly, he sat up and stretched whilst looking around the room, remembering the conversation he had with Jongin yesterday. Kyungsoo had decided that Jongin was weird, but he didn’t blame him since Kyungsoo was probably the first living human to ever cross Jongin’s path in the last few months. It was even possible that he might have been the only, seeing as how nobody seemed to ever come around here (according to Jongin). Who wouldn’t want to save their dying race? Maybe a serial killer, Kyungsoo thought, but that was besides the point.

Kyungsoo swung his legs over the side of the couch and pushed the blankets off. He stretched again and stood, instantly swaying with fatigue. He took a deep breath and lifted his arms above his head, wincing at the sting in his arm. He began stretching his torso, rolling his wrists around, removing the sleep from his muscles. Kyungsoo heard coughing come from the other room and turned his head towards the door. The other was clearly awake and struggling to roll out of bed. Kyungsoo whined internally, he needed food before his hunger kicked in again.

He slowly approached the door in question, and softly knocked. On the other side he heard Jongin’s body hit the floor, and a quiet “fuck” escape his lips. Kyungsoo quickly covered his mouth to keep from laughing, intense and rapid breathing filtering through his nose and echoing off of his hand instead. He stopped just in time for Jongin to crack open the door and poke his head out. His hair was ruffled and the sleep in his eyes and skin made him glow.

“Yes?”

“Um, is there something to eat?” Kyungsoo asked timidly.

Jongin smiled, wide and beautiful. “Alright Sherlock, in the kitchen there’s this thing called food. What you wanna do is grab some, possibly prepare it, depending on the contents, and put it inside of you via your mouth.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes exasperatedly and looked back up at Jongin.

“Thanks for that. I need to know where in the kitchen, I’ve eaten here before.”

Jongin snickered. “Only because you’re so cute when you pout, I’ll give you a hint.”

Kyungsoo’s cheeks soaked in pink flush, shoving the door to knock the younger over a bit. “YAH! Don’t be mean! Are you always like this, or do you just like me?”

Jongin opened the door to reveal at least half of him, standing between the mostly closed door and the frame. Kyungsoo tried to keep his gaze on the younger’s face, avoiding the image of Jongin in a shirtless state.

“Okay Princess,” Jongin laughed whilst holding up his hands in defeat, “Canned goods are in the bottom cupboards. There’s a can opener somewhere, but I’ll help you find it in a minute. I have to clean up in here and find a shirt.” Jongin gently waved his fingers cheekily, slowly closing the door on Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo huffed and made his way into the kitchen while grumbling.

“If I can’t find the food and end up dying of starvation, I blame you.” He muttered to himself, his bare feet pressing onto the cool tile as he navigated the small kitchen. He approached the cabinet doors and opened them to find the foretold cans in neat rows of twos, the majority of them were vegetables that Kyungsoo forgot existed, some of the labels had peeled off and remained anonymous. He took out a random container, setting them onto the counter without much thought of the contents. Once he had set a few onto the counter, he realized the can opener wasn’t with the cans.

“Are you kidding me?” He leaned his head back while groaning loudly, trying to make it known that he was irritated. “Jongin when I get my hands on you.”

Kyungsoo began to search the drawers looking for the mythical can opener Jongin said he had. He searched drawer after drawer in the kitchen until he finally opened a small white one to the left of the gas powered stove. He rolled his eyes contemplating as to why he didn’t just look there in the first place. Well at least now he finally found what he was looking for. As he took the metal opener out of the drawer, something caught his eye.

It was a small photo book, poorly bound together by a piece of white string and some metal paper clamps. Kyungsoo knew immediately this was Jongin’s work, since he had seen some of his other inventions around the house, including the laundry system. It made him laugh when he saw the younger’s underwear hanging with some paper clips.

Kyungsoo opened the small album carefully, trying to not damage the already fragile edges and went through the first couple photos. They were all of the same man with Jongin. The two of them were laughing, dancing, and in one of the pictures they were kissing. Kyungsoo smiled at the pictures, wondering what Jongin was like in these instances. He seemed like a big softy. He looked so happy in these that Kyungsoo wished he would have known him in a different time, a different life. The other man had striking blonde hair and a piercing gaze. His expressions were mostly hard and mysterious, but a few photos caught him smiling. His eyes would crease into themselves and crescents would appear, giving him the appearance of a bright and shy young man. He had the typical square jaw of most Koreans, but something about him was unique and dazzling.

Kyungsoo found himself adoring the two of them, and their relationship… whatever it was. It really looked like they loved each other. The way they looked in each other’s eyes in one of the pictures made Kyungsoo smile. He assumed it was from a school dance, something Kyungsoo wished he’d had during his high school years.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jongin’s voice cut through the air harshly. “Why are you snooping around?” His voice wavered with cruelty and uncertainty, staring at Kyungsoo with confusion, and wet eyes. Kyungsoo quickly dropped the booklet and held his hands in the air.

“I-I was just l-looking for the can opener.” He stuttered, trying to justify himself as he turned around to see Jongin peering down at him, eyes full of rage.

“No you were snooping around my things, Kyungsoo.” His voice started to rise with every syllable. “You don’t see me trying to snoop through your shit in the living room! That’s my private life!”

“I was trying to find the can opener Jongin and besides I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. It’s literally only a picture book-” Kyungsoo started to say but was cut off by Jongin.

“ONLY a picture book, Kyungsoo?! Those are the last memories I have of-” He paused. Took a deep breath, then continued.

“Goddammit I just don’t want you to snoop through my shit because then we both get worked up.” He said as he threw his hands into the air, exasperated.

“Jongin the only one who is freaking out is you. It’s not like I dug through your porn stash or anything. These are just some fucking picures, I don’t know why you’re so upset with me.” Now Kyungsoo was the one getting angry, his chest rising and falling quickly with every harsh breath he took.

“You don’t understand, Kyungsoo.” You don’t understand what it means to me, he wanted to add, but decided against it. If he kept talking then Kyungsoo would start trying to prod, and he couldn’t handle the explanations that followed. Not now.

“That’s the thing Jongin, I’m trying to understand, but you aren’t letting me. You’re shutting down this conversation before it even has a chance to take place.” Kyungsoo’s anger was replaced with frustration at Jongin’s secrecy and his refusal to open up without even explaining why.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to bring up the past.” He paused, turning away from the kitchen. “What’s gone is gone.” Jongin whispered. His eyes were no longer full of anger and pain, they were tired as well. Like a heavy weight had been placed on his shoulders and he couldn’t bear it anymore.

“Jongin I’m the only human you’ve seen in months, and it’s the same for me. You can at least talk to me… I know you’re hurting, but so am I. I’m not going anywhere, why can’t you just let me listen?” Kyungsoo asked with a pleading look in his eyes. Even though he didn’t show it, Kyungsoo was hurt by those words. He knew Jongin was shielding himself on purpose and the thought that the only other human he knew didn’t trust him was hard to bear.

“What if I say no Kyungsoo. What are you going to do then? Leave?” Jongin said with a defiant tone that masked the underlying fear behind his words.

“God-fucking-dammit, Jongin! I already told you, I’m not going anywhere. Why won’t you let me be real with you for just one second? I’m just as human as you are.” Kyungsoo could already see his vision getting blurry from the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and he knew his face was red by now, but he didn’t care. He needed to know. “Don’t shut me out before I can even get in.”

Jongin looked torn, like he wanted to say something. Instead, he just huffed and glared at Kyungsoo, before angrily grabbing the small photo book from the floor where it had fallen. He then took large steps back to his room where he slammed the door so loud, the house shook, leaving Kyungsoo with as many questions as before and a new crushing weight in his chest. He stared emptily at the cans. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

*

“Sehun!” Jongin yelled at the top of his lungs from his surfboard. He gave a wide smile and waved, his arms flying back and forth to get his boyfriend’s attention who was sitting reading a book on the sand, a common thing for him to do while Jongin was in the water. Sehun, for whatever reason Jongin couldn’t possibly process, despised the ocean, and constantly refused to go in with him. Amidst his attempt to contact his lover, a large wave snuck up behind Jongin, throwing him under the surface and into the depths below. The tide thrashed him for a moment before he regained himself and swam up to the breaking point, catching his breath. He coughed and looked ashore to see that Sehun hadn’t even really acknowledged him.

Sehun merely waved at Jongin from the coast, not even bothering to look up from the book he was reading. He could feel Jongin’s pout all the way back on the shore, a real testament to their daily lives. Jongin was always pouty with Sehun since the younger was a bit of a brat and would ignore him nine out of ten times. It made people around them swoon at how cute the both of them were together, especially since Jongin would follow Sehun around like a little puppy.

Today marked the last week of their final summer break until college began, and Jongin was trying to ride out his last few waves before he was to be forever bound to his college duties.

Colorado was out in the middle of nowhere, and unfortunately, that meant no oceans. And no surfing. Sehun was merely there for moral support, since he didn’t like the water. He always thought the ocean was dirty and gross, explaining this to Jongin too many times to count. The older would always ignore Sehun’s protests about the whale and fish pee, and would carry a flailing Sehun into the water, just to get under his skin. Jongin loved it when he was able to piss off the other, an odd satisfaction that he had developed from their relationship. The two of them were definitely an odd match but, they made it work.

Feeling ignored and slightly mischievous, Jongin swam back to shore to where Sehun was lying on his white and blue checkered beach towel. He swam against the current, which kept pulling him every which way until he finally made his break and escaped the ocean’s tide. He shook off his hair, making water droplets fly from his head and onto his surfboard that was still in his arms, and began approaching his target. The younger didn’t hear Jongin approaching him but saw his shadow a second too late as the older threw down his board and a wet Jongin landed on top of him making his book and his clothes all wet, ruining his nice appearance.

“Jongin!!” Sehun yelled out as the older began to hug him tightly, making his shirt covered in water from his wetsuit. Sehun quickly threw his book aside and let the older hug him, but not without with an irritated look on his face. He rolled his eyes and scrunched up his face as Jongin began to kiss his cheeks, attempting to make the younger smile at him at least a little bit.

Sehun tried to push Jongin off of him so that he could get away.

“Jonginnnnn stop!” he whinned at the older, and lightly pushed on his iron grip. “You’re getting me all wet!”

Jongin didn’t say anything in response but instead just snuggled his head down on Sehun’s chest and smiled with his eyes closed, enjoying the summer sun and ignoring Sehun’s rather loud protests. He already knew the other would stop fighting in a few seconds, and sure enough as if right on cue, Sehun groaned loudly and went limp in his arms.

Jongin took that to his advantage and moved his head up to look at Sehun square in the face. But upon studying the younger’s face, Jongin saw irritation in his eyes. Jongin squeezed his eyes tightly and make a click with his tongue.

“Damn. I made my handsome boyfriend mad at me didn’t I?” He scrunched up his nose and breathed in sharply through his teeth.

“Well I guess we know what that means.” Jongin said, implying he would have to tickle the frustration out of Sehun.

“Jongin I swear to God if you tickle me right now I’m-” Sehun was cut off by his out laughs that convulsed throughout his body and squirmed under the older as Jongin tickled his stomach. “Nini!” Sehun tried to yell out, but it only came out in a short breath making his voice crack. Jongin laughed with him with a giant lovestruck smile plastered on his face.

He finally stopped tickling Sehun to let him catch his breath and looked into his speckled eyes softly.

“I love you so much Sehun.” He said with a smile and kissed the other’s scrunched nose, taking a deep breath, then started laughing again when Sehun rolled his eyes at him.

“I love you too, you big oaf.” Sehun replied back with a smile.

*

It was around seven in the evening when Jongin came out of his room again. His eyes looked puffy and his previously semi-decent hair was now all over the place, making him look like a sleepy puppy. Kyungsoo wanted to say something (though he wasn’t even sure he could look at him and say sorry for snooping around) but Jongin had slammed the door so hard that he wasn’t going to take any chances of making him mad again. He stayed quiet as Jongin rumbled around in the kitchen, giving the other space. The tension was palpable in the small space and Kyungsoo didn’t like it.

“We only have canned beans and canned veggies.” Jongin called out from the kitchen, and sniffled a bit.

He wiped the side of his cheek as he squatted down behind one of the counters to get the food out of the cabinet, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Kyungsoo. He carefully watched Jongin as he stood back up and prepared their meal. Jongin took two plastic plates out of the taller cabinet and served the canned food on the plates. Then he walked over to the couch where Kyungsoo was sitting and gave him a plate.

“It’s not much- but it’s better than nothing.” Kyungsoo closed his eyes and sighed while nodding his head.

“Do we have anything for tomorrow?” Kyungsoo asked warily, knowing he shouldn’t get his hopes up since he only saw a couple of cans in the cabinet yesterday before Jongin had exploded.

Jongin nodded his head. “But we only have enough to last us for about a week. After that we have nothing.”

“Nothing?!”

“Yeah nothing… We have to go out.” Jongin said as he sighed and took his seat next to Kyungsoo at the dinner table. “Or we’ll be completely out of food.”

Kyungsoo stared at him in disbelief. “You have to be joking…” He blew air out of his nose and continued, “Jongin there is no way in hell we are going to make it down to the market and back here with all those walkers running around.”

“Oh Kyungsoo don’t be such a wuss. I’ve lived here for a long time, you forget that I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and smiled, suppressing his fears for now.

Part 2