*sigh* Stupid immune system
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Shar: "You're really not good at this being sick thing are you?"
Me: "Not really. It fucks with my program."
I woke up with a fever and sore throat this morning. The fever seems to be gone now (it was pretty mild) and the throat has transitioned to pressure in my ears/sinuses, but still, it's pretty obvious I'm sick.
And Shar's right...I don't deal with that well. If I'm anything other that completely incapacitated, I have a tendency to take it as a personal affront that the universe has dared to potentially slow me down. I have stuff to DO darn it! Sure, being sick is a great excuse for slacking off on the things I don't enjoy, like dishes or vacuuming, but it pisses me off to not have the energy for the things I want to do (like BayCon projects). I'm just that solipsistic..."How DARE the universe make me ill!? Doesn't it realize Who I Am?"
Even more frustrating is the battle between being "good" and being social. I've generally stuck to my mom's lessons that if you're too sick for school/work, then you're too sick to go out with your friends - which has lead to me going to work when I really shouldn't because I really wanted to be social later (and was probably a good bit of why, even though I opted to stay away from the office today, I chose to work from the couch for the morning). Unfortunately, this doesn't take into account that with age has come the wisdom that if I'm sick enough to have to make that bargain with myself, I'm sick enough that I _shouldn't_ be inflicting my plague-ridden self on other people.
So I have to fight off the voice in my head that makes deals. "If you just work from home, and actually work...don't just sit there hitting Stumble and pretending to work, you can go see your friends tonight." Ultimately, I'm selfish. I don't want the universe to get in the way of the things I enjoy, and I enjoy spending time with my friends.
Of course tonight that deal making is out of my hands, since Poe's sick too and the usual Friday gathering isn't happening - but god-forbid if I'm still sick next weekend, because I don't think I can convince myself to stay away from Con, even if I'm a plague monkey. *crosses fingers*
In the meantime, I think there's another cup of tea in my near future...and the desire to get better fast enough for Stride to kill me on Sunday at kick boxing...