Biting The Hand That Feeds---author: Heather

[kaikaia]

Silent ragings
I am weakened
My musings
Blind with faith
A falsness in me
What a creation
Such style
The painful height I reach
And my guiltless face
Untrue smile
A safety
I always hid behind
Pleasureless pain
Caged beauty
A tragic comedy
Did I mean it?
My unsurfaced grief
Well camouflaged
But still seen
Even hollow hearts bleed
You'll go along with my broken
Broken and spiteful games
As long as you remember
You dont have to utter a word
I hear my own outcries
I see my pleas
Seeming forever lost
When I look
At the depths of my sea
Emotions clashing with thoughts
With curiousities
Creating my own wake
A pity I drown
In my own
Absolute lies filled with doubt
Faithless faith
Severed innocence
Why cant I drop it?!
Tear away?!
This flightless misery
Is it that tempting?!
Is this all a big game?!
I already fucking won
I won in self-defeat
Must feel great
But such is life
No longer filled with grace
Instead overflowing
With careless lust
Call it true lies
I promise you
This is not my world
I know I know
No I dont
This is so much more
You cant take it
ANd you cant help
I'm gonna have to
Bring myself down
You wont
All these things
I've helped unravel
Watched come undone
The hypocritical manipulations
Blackened soul
Hardened heart
Who am I?!
I was there
I should know above all
Starting out as friends
Intentions pure
Eager jealousy
Letting go
Gotta have it all
With a kiss
Taking its own control
How easily I slipped
I wasn't even hanging on
Smile like you mean it Heather
And wipe those tears from your eyes
You're truely happy right?

I think I need a hug, not pity...just a hug.