My Love
Title: My Love
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Length: 2.2k
Genre: romance, fluff, slight angst
Summary: Kyungsoo has his bad days.
Kyungsoo has his bad days.
Jongin is always good to Kyungsoo. Even when Kyungsoo won't link back hands or shrugs out of his grasp backstage ("Incase someone sees," and Jongin always understands). Most of the time though, Kyungsoo is more than willing to have Jongin dance his fingertips along the nape of his neck or brush his hands through Kyungsoo's hair and pull that hand down until it's a pull into a hug. Kyungsoo always wants to hug him more. He wants to stay enveloped in Jongin's touch and kiss away the nervousness lingering in the wrinkles of Jongin's eyes. The days when their manager tells them to boost up their fanservice are Kyungsoo's favourite. He'll bring Jongin to sit on his lap until his legs are numb and Jongin is writhing to get away. Kyungsoo knows what fanservice is (but it's painful sometimes because Jongin never pretends). He basks in the attention anyway.
Whenever EXO got in the van to drive home, Jongin always pushed to sit next to Kyungsoo. Eventually the rest of the members got used to it and left an empty space next to whoever of the two were sitting first. Usually Kyungsoo enjoys the want-being wanted. But today they had what felt like hundreds of the same take and he's beyond frustrated, tired and not finding the want so necessary.
"Here comes lover boy," Baekhyun snorts and Kyungsoo doesn't miss the screech as Jongin flicks him in the face. Jongin then promptly gets in the van and takes his rightful spot next to Kyungsoo. When Kyungsoo shrugs off Jongin's arm wound through his, Jongin tries his best to hide the confusion.
They always speak softly to each other. "I'm tired Jongin, sorry... I'm just-sorry." Kyungsoo stumbles over his words, but Jongin understands.
"It's okay, hyung," and all that Kyungsoo notices is how quiet Jongin is, and how polite he always sounds when Kyungsoo's not doing his best. It's all it takes for Kyungsoo to be reeling back, wondering why he had to say that-why he had to do that. He looks down to see that Jongin has taken his arm away and linked their fingers instead. Jongin doesn't say anything when he doesn't hold back as hard as Jongin. After a while, Jongin's head falls on his shoulder and Kyungsoo looks over to find the younger has fallen asleep. He feels selfish, because he knows Jongin will always come running to him no matter what he does or how he acts. And he's always known it. And sometimes he uses it to his advantage. And he wishes his feelings didn't get the best of him, especially when it comes to Jongin because he knows Jongin would never do what he does. And Jongin deserves better.
Before Jongin's hand can fall away, he tightens his grip.
When they get back to the dorm, Kyungsoo's the first one to bed. Jongin climbs into the sheets a while after and Kyungsoo, still feeling guilty about earlier, pulls the younger boy into his chest, nuzzling his head atop of Jongin's and smiles at the squeaks Jongin makes.
The next day they're filming for a new variety show. It turns out to be another one of Kyungsoo's bad days. EXO has to split up into two groups for a game and Sehun pulls Kyungsoo over with the beagle line before he can even react.
"Sehun, switch with me," Jongin says once he realises Kyungsoo's no longer at his side.
"Nope." Sehun sniggers and flicks Jongin in the arm.
Jongin sniggers back, "I'm your hyung. Switch with me." He pushes Sehun to the side so he can stand next to Kyungsoo.
"Hyung my ass," Sehun snorts.
"Sehun, language," Yixing warns. Sehun flips him off.
"You just want to be with Kyungsoo," he teases. This time Jongin really does push him. Sehun lands on the floor loudly, looking up in mild shock.
"Jongin, come on," Junmyeon groans and walks over to help Sehun up. Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's arm.
"Jongin, there's no need for any fanservice today. It's just a variety show, just act how you always do," (but that's the problem; Jongin's never acting) their manager emerges from behind the cameras. He'll leave it up to Junmyeon to do the scolding after the filming's finished. "In fact, you could probably cut it down with Kyungsoo anyway." Jongin looks to Kyungsoo as if he's the one to decide and Kyungsoo hates him for it. He looks at the cameramen, waiting to film and hears Sehun grumble to Junmyeon, he hates himself really and oh god, he doesn't know why he says it.
"He's right Jongin. Go back to the other group."
"Okay," Jongin whispers, and lets go.
Kyungsoo doesn't realise he hasn't until Junmyeon tells Sehun to apologise. "He's had a hard day, and we already put so much pressure on him." Kyungsoo's throat drops to his stomach. He waits until he hears Sehun coming out of their room before he gets up from his seat.
When he enters, Jongin is sitting on the floor, one leg propped up, his arm resting on his knee with the TV remote in his hand. A children's anime that Kyungsoo's never seen before plays softly but it still manages to cover the sound of him closing the door silently. Jongin hasn't noticed him. The feeling in his stomach drops even further. Now that Jongin's removed all the makeup from the show, Kyungsoo can see the dark circles under his eyes. Jongin's shirt rides a little over his waist and his sweatpants are low on his skin, showing a small expanse of skin covered in a bandage. Kyungsoo can't help himself once he sees it and storms over, dropping into Jongin's lap, and kisses him full and earnest on the lips, hands on both cheeks. Jongin stills for a moment, realises it's Kyungsoo and then relaxes. Kyungsoo hears the remote drop to the floor.
"I'm sorry," he repeats over and over and kisses Jongin small and short. When Jongin's hands try to come up, he holds them back with his own and moves to kiss Jongin all over his face endlessly. Jongin muffles out small chuckles. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry," he kisses Jongin on the lips once more, this time long and slow. He brings Jongin's hands up to his chest, holding them tightly. When they part, he looks at Jongin nervously.
"Who said I was mad at you?"
Kyungsoo sighs and drops their hands to the floor, but still holds them together. He pushes his forehead against Jongin's but can't meet his eyes. "You're too good to me. Far too good." He looks at Jongin lips instead and watches them curve into a smile.
"And what do I get for being so good?"
Kyungsoo can't help it and laughs. He knows what Jongin really means. "Don't look so smug. I'm bad, I really am."
Jongin's grin only gets wider. "Then I guess I should punish you, shouldn't I?"
Kyungsoo pushes Jongin in the stomach playfully, eventually moving so his hand to traces the bandage on Jongin's waist gently. "I hope you're not serious about putting off on the fanservice. I don't want you to."
Jongin's laughs quietly. "Alright-neither do I, anyway. Don't think I could keep my hands off your for that long." Kyungsoo kisses him again out of the warmth in his chest.
"You really are too good Jongin, you know that. You are," he sighs.
"Okay hyung," Jongin kisses the skin above his eyebrow. "It's okay."
But it's not okay.
Jongin hurts his back badly during a practise and spends the next day on Kyungsoo's bed. Jongin's injury means they have to cancel a major performance that day.
"I feel shit about it," Jongin murmurs sadly. He tries to blow his bangs away from his face.
"Don't. It's not your fault," Kyungsoo replies and brushes them away. He keeps his hand on the end on Jongin's cheek, thumbing the side of his neck slowly. Jongin's lying on his stomach, Kyungsoo on his knees at the side of the bed. It rains outside and Kyungsoo wishes so badly that the sun would come out and light up Jongin's face and warm his back and make this situation brighter. But all Kyungsoo can do is place a reassuring hand on the small of Jongin's back, hoping the love from his heart can heal from his fingertips. He spends the whole day like that anyway, kissing Jongin's forehead when Jongin starts to writhe in pain and drags his thumbs across his hot cheeks.
"You should go. Aren't you hungry? You can't stay here forever you know," Jongin mumbles but leans into Kyungsoo's touch anyway. "Go get some lunch. Please." He's pleading and Kyungsoo can't stand it, can't not give in.
"Okay," Kyungsoo agrees after a while and exits only moments later to come back with a bowl of leftover spaghetti.
"I didn't mean it like that." Jongin huffs. Kyungsoo laughs and spoons in a mouthful of food, watching Jongin stir with a grin.
"Aren't you going to give me some?" Jongin whines (like Kyungsoo knew he would). Kyungsoo snorts. He feeds Jongin anyway and kisses the sauce away from Jongin's lips when it gets stuck.
Once the sky turns dark with night, Jongin coaxes Kyungsoo into the bed with him.
"Jongin, this can hardly be good for your back," Kyungsoo sighs, his chest moving against Jongin's back.
"Yeah hyung. Okay." Jongin mumbles, barely awake. He smiles at the terribly endearing boy in his arms that always knew how to get his way with Kyungsoo. He knows Jongin won't ever see him smile at times like these, but he's okay with that.
He's almost asleep himself when he feels Jongin stir in his arms. "Kyungsoo?" He waits to hear.
"Yeah?"
"Let's go out tomorrow-by ourselves. We haven't done that in ages." Jongin's voice is so unbelievably quiet.
"Like a date?" The flush creeps up Kyungsoo's neck. Now he's really glad Jongin can't see him.
"Yeah," he can hear the smile in Jongin's voice. "Like a date. Meet me at six then."
"Okay," Kyungsoo kisses the nape of Jongin's neck and watches the tiny hairs stick up in the moonlight.
Kyungsoo has a grueling rehearsal the next day for a special stage he's going to share with Baekhyun and Jongdae. He gets completely lost in it and insists no let's keep going, keep going, let's just get this right, we can keep going for a while longer. It takes over his brain until he looks at his phone. The time reads 8:00 pm. "Shit," he winces, bringing his hand to his hand, squeezing his eyes tightly. Painfully. God, he's such an idiot. "Shit, shit, shit."
He asks if he can leave but the managers won't let him, reminding him that he's the one that wanted to drag this on longer. By the time he's back at the dorm it's 9:30.
When he goes into their room, Jongin's sitting on his bed, staring. "Jongin," he starts desperate. He doesn't even know what to say. Jongin doesn't say anything either. He doesn't even look mad.
"You could at least have the audacity to look angry," he begs. Jongin's eyebrows rise. Shit, he shouldn't have said that. But then they furrow in confusion.
"Hyung, I know you had the rehearsal-"
"I know. I know, damn it, Jongin. I'm sorry." He walks closer. He doesn't want to mess up anything again. "I'm so stupid I just-I keep having bad days and messing everything up and you just-" he exhales and sees Jongin's face. It kills him, what has he done, he has to do better, he has to do better for Jongin, Jongin's face kills him, he wipes his eyes-
He hisses sharply, realising he's crying (what the fuck?) and steps back. "You just sit there and forgive me? I don't know Jongin-you're-you're too good for me. You deserve better." He means it.
"Hyung," and the look on Jongin's face has gone to a new level of unbearable and the last thing Kyungsoo wants to do is cause him any more pain. He walks over and hugs him tightly. Jongin wipes his tears away. He's never cried like this in front of Jongin.
"Please don't cry." Jongin says softly.
"I don't deserve you." Kyungsoo's voice shakes with fondness. He doesn't know how he ended up with Jongin. Jongin, so full of love for the world and for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, who kept fucking it all up.
Jongin kisses his nose. "You've got me anyway." And Jongin smiles at Kyungsoo like he's the world himself and Kyungsoo thinks of how much he never wants it to go away, not now, not in the future, to stay there like it had always been from when Jongin was an 18 year old with a blinding smile that Kyungsoo fell in love with.
Kyungsoo eats a late dinner. He's still a little embarrassed, okay, mortified at earlier (why did he cry?). But most of all he just feels guilty. Guilty about missing the date. Guilty about always being forgiven. He hopes Jongin always does though, because he's not sure if he could live without him.
He wishes so badly that they could have gone out together-he stills for a second, then grabs a piece of paper and a pen. He doesn't know if he could ask it in person because he's still a little embarrassed (okay, mortified). He slides the message under the door. He hears Jongin shuffle to pick it up.
Seconds later, it's returned.
can we try that date again?
check
yes [ ✓ ]
no [ ]
happy (early) valentines day :)
talk to me on twitter
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Length: 2.2k
Genre: romance, fluff, slight angst
Summary: Kyungsoo has his bad days.
Kyungsoo has his bad days.
Jongin is always good to Kyungsoo. Even when Kyungsoo won't link back hands or shrugs out of his grasp backstage ("Incase someone sees," and Jongin always understands). Most of the time though, Kyungsoo is more than willing to have Jongin dance his fingertips along the nape of his neck or brush his hands through Kyungsoo's hair and pull that hand down until it's a pull into a hug. Kyungsoo always wants to hug him more. He wants to stay enveloped in Jongin's touch and kiss away the nervousness lingering in the wrinkles of Jongin's eyes. The days when their manager tells them to boost up their fanservice are Kyungsoo's favourite. He'll bring Jongin to sit on his lap until his legs are numb and Jongin is writhing to get away. Kyungsoo knows what fanservice is (but it's painful sometimes because Jongin never pretends). He basks in the attention anyway.
Whenever EXO got in the van to drive home, Jongin always pushed to sit next to Kyungsoo. Eventually the rest of the members got used to it and left an empty space next to whoever of the two were sitting first. Usually Kyungsoo enjoys the want-being wanted. But today they had what felt like hundreds of the same take and he's beyond frustrated, tired and not finding the want so necessary.
"Here comes lover boy," Baekhyun snorts and Kyungsoo doesn't miss the screech as Jongin flicks him in the face. Jongin then promptly gets in the van and takes his rightful spot next to Kyungsoo. When Kyungsoo shrugs off Jongin's arm wound through his, Jongin tries his best to hide the confusion.
They always speak softly to each other. "I'm tired Jongin, sorry... I'm just-sorry." Kyungsoo stumbles over his words, but Jongin understands.
"It's okay, hyung," and all that Kyungsoo notices is how quiet Jongin is, and how polite he always sounds when Kyungsoo's not doing his best. It's all it takes for Kyungsoo to be reeling back, wondering why he had to say that-why he had to do that. He looks down to see that Jongin has taken his arm away and linked their fingers instead. Jongin doesn't say anything when he doesn't hold back as hard as Jongin. After a while, Jongin's head falls on his shoulder and Kyungsoo looks over to find the younger has fallen asleep. He feels selfish, because he knows Jongin will always come running to him no matter what he does or how he acts. And he's always known it. And sometimes he uses it to his advantage. And he wishes his feelings didn't get the best of him, especially when it comes to Jongin because he knows Jongin would never do what he does. And Jongin deserves better.
Before Jongin's hand can fall away, he tightens his grip.
When they get back to the dorm, Kyungsoo's the first one to bed. Jongin climbs into the sheets a while after and Kyungsoo, still feeling guilty about earlier, pulls the younger boy into his chest, nuzzling his head atop of Jongin's and smiles at the squeaks Jongin makes.
The next day they're filming for a new variety show. It turns out to be another one of Kyungsoo's bad days. EXO has to split up into two groups for a game and Sehun pulls Kyungsoo over with the beagle line before he can even react.
"Sehun, switch with me," Jongin says once he realises Kyungsoo's no longer at his side.
"Nope." Sehun sniggers and flicks Jongin in the arm.
Jongin sniggers back, "I'm your hyung. Switch with me." He pushes Sehun to the side so he can stand next to Kyungsoo.
"Hyung my ass," Sehun snorts.
"Sehun, language," Yixing warns. Sehun flips him off.
"You just want to be with Kyungsoo," he teases. This time Jongin really does push him. Sehun lands on the floor loudly, looking up in mild shock.
"Jongin, come on," Junmyeon groans and walks over to help Sehun up. Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's arm.
"Jongin, there's no need for any fanservice today. It's just a variety show, just act how you always do," (but that's the problem; Jongin's never acting) their manager emerges from behind the cameras. He'll leave it up to Junmyeon to do the scolding after the filming's finished. "In fact, you could probably cut it down with Kyungsoo anyway." Jongin looks to Kyungsoo as if he's the one to decide and Kyungsoo hates him for it. He looks at the cameramen, waiting to film and hears Sehun grumble to Junmyeon, he hates himself really and oh god, he doesn't know why he says it.
"He's right Jongin. Go back to the other group."
"Okay," Jongin whispers, and lets go.
Kyungsoo doesn't realise he hasn't until Junmyeon tells Sehun to apologise. "He's had a hard day, and we already put so much pressure on him." Kyungsoo's throat drops to his stomach. He waits until he hears Sehun coming out of their room before he gets up from his seat.
When he enters, Jongin is sitting on the floor, one leg propped up, his arm resting on his knee with the TV remote in his hand. A children's anime that Kyungsoo's never seen before plays softly but it still manages to cover the sound of him closing the door silently. Jongin hasn't noticed him. The feeling in his stomach drops even further. Now that Jongin's removed all the makeup from the show, Kyungsoo can see the dark circles under his eyes. Jongin's shirt rides a little over his waist and his sweatpants are low on his skin, showing a small expanse of skin covered in a bandage. Kyungsoo can't help himself once he sees it and storms over, dropping into Jongin's lap, and kisses him full and earnest on the lips, hands on both cheeks. Jongin stills for a moment, realises it's Kyungsoo and then relaxes. Kyungsoo hears the remote drop to the floor.
"I'm sorry," he repeats over and over and kisses Jongin small and short. When Jongin's hands try to come up, he holds them back with his own and moves to kiss Jongin all over his face endlessly. Jongin muffles out small chuckles. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry," he kisses Jongin on the lips once more, this time long and slow. He brings Jongin's hands up to his chest, holding them tightly. When they part, he looks at Jongin nervously.
"Who said I was mad at you?"
Kyungsoo sighs and drops their hands to the floor, but still holds them together. He pushes his forehead against Jongin's but can't meet his eyes. "You're too good to me. Far too good." He looks at Jongin lips instead and watches them curve into a smile.
"And what do I get for being so good?"
Kyungsoo can't help it and laughs. He knows what Jongin really means. "Don't look so smug. I'm bad, I really am."
Jongin's grin only gets wider. "Then I guess I should punish you, shouldn't I?"
Kyungsoo pushes Jongin in the stomach playfully, eventually moving so his hand to traces the bandage on Jongin's waist gently. "I hope you're not serious about putting off on the fanservice. I don't want you to."
Jongin's laughs quietly. "Alright-neither do I, anyway. Don't think I could keep my hands off your for that long." Kyungsoo kisses him again out of the warmth in his chest.
"You really are too good Jongin, you know that. You are," he sighs.
"Okay hyung," Jongin kisses the skin above his eyebrow. "It's okay."
But it's not okay.
Jongin hurts his back badly during a practise and spends the next day on Kyungsoo's bed. Jongin's injury means they have to cancel a major performance that day.
"I feel shit about it," Jongin murmurs sadly. He tries to blow his bangs away from his face.
"Don't. It's not your fault," Kyungsoo replies and brushes them away. He keeps his hand on the end on Jongin's cheek, thumbing the side of his neck slowly. Jongin's lying on his stomach, Kyungsoo on his knees at the side of the bed. It rains outside and Kyungsoo wishes so badly that the sun would come out and light up Jongin's face and warm his back and make this situation brighter. But all Kyungsoo can do is place a reassuring hand on the small of Jongin's back, hoping the love from his heart can heal from his fingertips. He spends the whole day like that anyway, kissing Jongin's forehead when Jongin starts to writhe in pain and drags his thumbs across his hot cheeks.
"You should go. Aren't you hungry? You can't stay here forever you know," Jongin mumbles but leans into Kyungsoo's touch anyway. "Go get some lunch. Please." He's pleading and Kyungsoo can't stand it, can't not give in.
"Okay," Kyungsoo agrees after a while and exits only moments later to come back with a bowl of leftover spaghetti.
"I didn't mean it like that." Jongin huffs. Kyungsoo laughs and spoons in a mouthful of food, watching Jongin stir with a grin.
"Aren't you going to give me some?" Jongin whines (like Kyungsoo knew he would). Kyungsoo snorts. He feeds Jongin anyway and kisses the sauce away from Jongin's lips when it gets stuck.
Once the sky turns dark with night, Jongin coaxes Kyungsoo into the bed with him.
"Jongin, this can hardly be good for your back," Kyungsoo sighs, his chest moving against Jongin's back.
"Yeah hyung. Okay." Jongin mumbles, barely awake. He smiles at the terribly endearing boy in his arms that always knew how to get his way with Kyungsoo. He knows Jongin won't ever see him smile at times like these, but he's okay with that.
He's almost asleep himself when he feels Jongin stir in his arms. "Kyungsoo?" He waits to hear.
"Yeah?"
"Let's go out tomorrow-by ourselves. We haven't done that in ages." Jongin's voice is so unbelievably quiet.
"Like a date?" The flush creeps up Kyungsoo's neck. Now he's really glad Jongin can't see him.
"Yeah," he can hear the smile in Jongin's voice. "Like a date. Meet me at six then."
"Okay," Kyungsoo kisses the nape of Jongin's neck and watches the tiny hairs stick up in the moonlight.
Kyungsoo has a grueling rehearsal the next day for a special stage he's going to share with Baekhyun and Jongdae. He gets completely lost in it and insists no let's keep going, keep going, let's just get this right, we can keep going for a while longer. It takes over his brain until he looks at his phone. The time reads 8:00 pm. "Shit," he winces, bringing his hand to his hand, squeezing his eyes tightly. Painfully. God, he's such an idiot. "Shit, shit, shit."
He asks if he can leave but the managers won't let him, reminding him that he's the one that wanted to drag this on longer. By the time he's back at the dorm it's 9:30.
When he goes into their room, Jongin's sitting on his bed, staring. "Jongin," he starts desperate. He doesn't even know what to say. Jongin doesn't say anything either. He doesn't even look mad.
"You could at least have the audacity to look angry," he begs. Jongin's eyebrows rise. Shit, he shouldn't have said that. But then they furrow in confusion.
"Hyung, I know you had the rehearsal-"
"I know. I know, damn it, Jongin. I'm sorry." He walks closer. He doesn't want to mess up anything again. "I'm so stupid I just-I keep having bad days and messing everything up and you just-" he exhales and sees Jongin's face. It kills him, what has he done, he has to do better, he has to do better for Jongin, Jongin's face kills him, he wipes his eyes-
He hisses sharply, realising he's crying (what the fuck?) and steps back. "You just sit there and forgive me? I don't know Jongin-you're-you're too good for me. You deserve better." He means it.
"Hyung," and the look on Jongin's face has gone to a new level of unbearable and the last thing Kyungsoo wants to do is cause him any more pain. He walks over and hugs him tightly. Jongin wipes his tears away. He's never cried like this in front of Jongin.
"Please don't cry." Jongin says softly.
"I don't deserve you." Kyungsoo's voice shakes with fondness. He doesn't know how he ended up with Jongin. Jongin, so full of love for the world and for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, who kept fucking it all up.
Jongin kisses his nose. "You've got me anyway." And Jongin smiles at Kyungsoo like he's the world himself and Kyungsoo thinks of how much he never wants it to go away, not now, not in the future, to stay there like it had always been from when Jongin was an 18 year old with a blinding smile that Kyungsoo fell in love with.
Kyungsoo eats a late dinner. He's still a little embarrassed, okay, mortified at earlier (why did he cry?). But most of all he just feels guilty. Guilty about missing the date. Guilty about always being forgiven. He hopes Jongin always does though, because he's not sure if he could live without him.
He wishes so badly that they could have gone out together-he stills for a second, then grabs a piece of paper and a pen. He doesn't know if he could ask it in person because he's still a little embarrassed (okay, mortified). He slides the message under the door. He hears Jongin shuffle to pick it up.
Seconds later, it's returned.
can we try that date again?
check
yes [ ✓ ]
no [ ]
happy (early) valentines day :)
talk to me on twitter