(난) 널 잊을수 가 없어 그리고 내 자신 이 점점 싫어 지려고 해
[ i can’t get over you and i’m getting tired of myself ]
kai/chen 914w.
They arrive in Shanghai airport, Jongin falls asleep in the van and two kisses to his eyelids wake him up. They’re the last ones in the van.
“You look tired,” Jongdae says. It’s not an excuse, because he is. He always is. Jongdae’s the only one that really notices it. Notices that it never stops. “We’re at the dorm anyway,” Jongdae says, pushes open the door and leaves.
In the gaps between the twelve members in the elevator, there’s tension.
“You can share a room with Jongdae, if you’d like,” Joonmyun says gently, like he always did to the younger members.
“Okay,” Jongin replies, simply. It’s too simple. The other members notice.
At night Jongin falls into Jongdae’s embrace with ease. He sleeps curled into Jongdae’s side like it’s routine he’s mastered.
At 3 a.m. he feels the body next to him get up, leave, and then come back an hour later and face the other way.
It hadn’t always been like this. They used to touch each other like it was the easiest thing they could do, always attached to each other everywhere they went. You rarely ever saw Jongdae without Jongin. The other members would complain.
And then Jongdae went away for promotions in China for six months. Only came back for two weeks with a mumbled apology and a porcelain figure from Hong Kong he tried so hard to explain until Jongin had to kiss his words away. Touches were only under the covers. When Jongdae left, Jongin tried his best to conceal tears and had to storm away when his eyes started to sting.
A lot of things can happen in six months. Jongin has plenty of time to get crying out of the way in six months.
He doesn’t see Jongdae for another two until EXO-K flies to Beijing. Three days later-today-they travel to Shanghai for the first time as a group in almost nine months.
“I don’t know if something’s going on between you,” Yixing pants out. Jongin doesn’t have to even ask to know who Yixing’s talking about. It’s just him and Jongin, practicing for a special dance stage. They stop to catch their breaths and Yixing passes him a water bottle.
“He’s not angry at you. Talk to him,” Yixing had always been reassuring, straightforward. Jongin had never been good at this kind of stuff, but he’ll try. For Jongdae, he’ll try.
He does try, all day in fact. EXO have a photo shoot for a major Chinese magazine and each time Jongin tries to catch Jongdae in private, he waves him off until later, or someone else interrupts.
“Jongdae,” Jongin rasps once they’re dropped off outside their dorm. Everyone’s gone inside and Jongdae’s just about to when Jongin calls out. He’s almost embarrassed at how desperate he sounds, but it makes Jongdae let go of the door handle, step and turn around to face him.
Now that he’s here, and they’re together and it’s pitch black and no one’s around, Jongin realizes he doesn’t really know what to say. “What’s-uh-“
“Don’t worry,” Jongdae shakes his head. He was always good at being able to tell what Jongin needed to say. “It’s nothing, don’t worry. I mean, you’ve got heaps of practice to do and I don’t want you not getting enough sleep-“
“I sleep better when you do,” Jongin urges. Jongdae’s eyes soften when he looks up at him.
“I know I’m not really-“ Jongin looks down at his feet sheepishly, “good, at this…stuff,” He looks back up at Jongdae’s gentle gaze, his eyes are glassed over now. “But you can talk to me. You have to talk to me Jongdae.”
Jongdae laughs quietly. “It’s just…getting used to this, I guess.” He sighs and laughs sadly again.
“I’m not even Chinese for god’s sake,” His voice is quiet but he blurts it out, unexpectedly and hurt. “I can’t speak that well-people look at me and I don’t even know what they’re saying about me. I don’t even know if they like me Jongin,” He wipes his eyes on his sleeve and shakes his head.
“It would so much easier to be you, I mean, you can dance and just-look at you on stage, everybody loves you.”
“But I love you,” Jongin’s voice is so shaken, and so damn tiny. Jongdae smiles at him, sadly, but smiles nonetheless. He walks up to Jongin and pulls him into a hug, cradling his head in the crook of his shoulder. Although Jongin can’t see his face, he can imagine it and it kills him.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Jongdae kisses the top of his ear and then his temple. “I know.”
Jongin knows Jongdae loves him.
He knows it when Jongdae kisses him slow, open mouthed before they go to sleep, tangled into each other.
He knows it when Jongdae laughs and spends the whole day next to him, hitting him playfully, tickling his sides, kissing the red tip of his nose.
He knows it when Jongdae purposely doesn’t sit next to him on long car rides because he knows Jongin will stay awake, playing and fumbling with the hands incased in his.
He knows it when Jongdae kisses his closed eyelids. “Get some sleep, I can tell you’re tired.” He’ll whisper and Jongin is out like that; a linger of lips on his the last feeling.
EXO-K leave Shanghai a week later with a one way ticket to Seoul.
HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY EXO
HAPPY SEHUNA DAY
HAPPY COMEBACK TIMES
pst (chenkai are cute!! i mean can i call them cute names like 2jong or even jongjong (!!) because no matter what anyone says, THEY ARE CUTE )
kai/chen 914w.
They arrive in Shanghai airport, Jongin falls asleep in the van and two kisses to his eyelids wake him up. They’re the last ones in the van.
“You look tired,” Jongdae says. It’s not an excuse, because he is. He always is. Jongdae’s the only one that really notices it. Notices that it never stops. “We’re at the dorm anyway,” Jongdae says, pushes open the door and leaves.
In the gaps between the twelve members in the elevator, there’s tension.
“You can share a room with Jongdae, if you’d like,” Joonmyun says gently, like he always did to the younger members.
“Okay,” Jongin replies, simply. It’s too simple. The other members notice.
At night Jongin falls into Jongdae’s embrace with ease. He sleeps curled into Jongdae’s side like it’s routine he’s mastered.
At 3 a.m. he feels the body next to him get up, leave, and then come back an hour later and face the other way.
It hadn’t always been like this. They used to touch each other like it was the easiest thing they could do, always attached to each other everywhere they went. You rarely ever saw Jongdae without Jongin. The other members would complain.
And then Jongdae went away for promotions in China for six months. Only came back for two weeks with a mumbled apology and a porcelain figure from Hong Kong he tried so hard to explain until Jongin had to kiss his words away. Touches were only under the covers. When Jongdae left, Jongin tried his best to conceal tears and had to storm away when his eyes started to sting.
A lot of things can happen in six months. Jongin has plenty of time to get crying out of the way in six months.
He doesn’t see Jongdae for another two until EXO-K flies to Beijing. Three days later-today-they travel to Shanghai for the first time as a group in almost nine months.
“I don’t know if something’s going on between you,” Yixing pants out. Jongin doesn’t have to even ask to know who Yixing’s talking about. It’s just him and Jongin, practicing for a special dance stage. They stop to catch their breaths and Yixing passes him a water bottle.
“He’s not angry at you. Talk to him,” Yixing had always been reassuring, straightforward. Jongin had never been good at this kind of stuff, but he’ll try. For Jongdae, he’ll try.
He does try, all day in fact. EXO have a photo shoot for a major Chinese magazine and each time Jongin tries to catch Jongdae in private, he waves him off until later, or someone else interrupts.
“Jongdae,” Jongin rasps once they’re dropped off outside their dorm. Everyone’s gone inside and Jongdae’s just about to when Jongin calls out. He’s almost embarrassed at how desperate he sounds, but it makes Jongdae let go of the door handle, step and turn around to face him.
Now that he’s here, and they’re together and it’s pitch black and no one’s around, Jongin realizes he doesn’t really know what to say. “What’s-uh-“
“Don’t worry,” Jongdae shakes his head. He was always good at being able to tell what Jongin needed to say. “It’s nothing, don’t worry. I mean, you’ve got heaps of practice to do and I don’t want you not getting enough sleep-“
“I sleep better when you do,” Jongin urges. Jongdae’s eyes soften when he looks up at him.
“I know I’m not really-“ Jongin looks down at his feet sheepishly, “good, at this…stuff,” He looks back up at Jongdae’s gentle gaze, his eyes are glassed over now. “But you can talk to me. You have to talk to me Jongdae.”
Jongdae laughs quietly. “It’s just…getting used to this, I guess.” He sighs and laughs sadly again.
“I’m not even Chinese for god’s sake,” His voice is quiet but he blurts it out, unexpectedly and hurt. “I can’t speak that well-people look at me and I don’t even know what they’re saying about me. I don’t even know if they like me Jongin,” He wipes his eyes on his sleeve and shakes his head.
“It would so much easier to be you, I mean, you can dance and just-look at you on stage, everybody loves you.”
“But I love you,” Jongin’s voice is so shaken, and so damn tiny. Jongdae smiles at him, sadly, but smiles nonetheless. He walks up to Jongin and pulls him into a hug, cradling his head in the crook of his shoulder. Although Jongin can’t see his face, he can imagine it and it kills him.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Jongdae kisses the top of his ear and then his temple. “I know.”
Jongin knows Jongdae loves him.
He knows it when Jongdae kisses him slow, open mouthed before they go to sleep, tangled into each other.
He knows it when Jongdae laughs and spends the whole day next to him, hitting him playfully, tickling his sides, kissing the red tip of his nose.
He knows it when Jongdae purposely doesn’t sit next to him on long car rides because he knows Jongin will stay awake, playing and fumbling with the hands incased in his.
He knows it when Jongdae kisses his closed eyelids. “Get some sleep, I can tell you’re tired.” He’ll whisper and Jongin is out like that; a linger of lips on his the last feeling.
EXO-K leave Shanghai a week later with a one way ticket to Seoul.
HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY EXO
HAPPY SEHUNA DAY
HAPPY COMEBACK TIMES
pst (chenkai are cute!! i mean can i call them cute names like 2jong or even jongjong (!!) because no matter what anyone says, THEY ARE CUTE )
