Chi Town
So my stay in Chicago is coming to an end. It's hard for me to describe my experience appropriately. Living in this co-op, The Happy House, has been a mix of emotions, a good portion of them not actually being happy. A lot of good and bad events have occurred over the past three weeks, but all in all I think living here has further deteriorated my faith in the "anarchist community". A good portion of the time spent here hasn't been on any kind of activism or outreach, just drinking and smoking. There has been a lot of talk and a lot of reminiscence, but for the most part such words have been spoken between heavy periods of debauchery. I don't have a problem with drinking or smoking, but when it comes to the point that they are used in excess I find my enthusiasm for the life around me waning. It especially becomes so when I find myself having to participate just to not feel withdrawn or alienated from the rest of the house. This is why A. Fest fell apart and it's really heartbreaking to see that such a trend is indeed trickling throughout the rest of the community. I wish I could find a copy of that zine right now. I can't remember the title anymore, but the one that highlighted the fact that you don't have to be a drunkard to be an anarchist.
Also, there's been a lot of problems with some people that have come and gone through the house. It makes me feel that maybe living in a free space isn't for me. There's been a lot of friction between people, a lot of disrespect, a lot of things being broken and a few stolen, and not enough intervention.
All that aside, I've been more or less enjoying myself here. I've been dumpstering, building bikes (well watching them being built), gone to some shows and done food not bombs. So the experience has been far from completely sour. I've met a lot of new, intriguing people and we've come across some from the past. I don't think I've ever felt more comfortable with myself as an individual and as part of a group. I'm also happy to be living with Rosie again, especially in the wake of her lose. I hate to be away from her at this point in time. Overall, there's a lot of potential growth for this house and for myself every moment I spend in it, and when i think about that I find it very hard to leave it behind.
Tonight Rosie, Skot, and myself are going back to Michigan. Rosie is planning on coming back with her van in a week. At this point I'm not sure if I want to return with her. Defining my time in the Happy House as good or bad is more or less an even split down the middle. Scott, also formerly of LAHSC, offered me a pretty good job if I decided to come back to LA. Even though there's still a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth from last time (just like the time before that), I think about all the people I know, the former BGH kids, the LAHSC peeps, and I guess one or two people from the Fund, it all tastes a little sweeter. Or, in the end, I could stay in Michigan, and pray my sanity will remain intact to see the snow melt. Again, I find myself at a very difficult crossroad in life. I always seem to make the wrong choice, but it's always the lesser of two evils. I'm in a moment of transition again. I've surely reached the end of this world. In the coming week I as I am will shatter and something new and fresh will emerge from the pieces.
Where does the newborn go from here? The net is vast and infinite.
Also, there's been a lot of problems with some people that have come and gone through the house. It makes me feel that maybe living in a free space isn't for me. There's been a lot of friction between people, a lot of disrespect, a lot of things being broken and a few stolen, and not enough intervention.
All that aside, I've been more or less enjoying myself here. I've been dumpstering, building bikes (well watching them being built), gone to some shows and done food not bombs. So the experience has been far from completely sour. I've met a lot of new, intriguing people and we've come across some from the past. I don't think I've ever felt more comfortable with myself as an individual and as part of a group. I'm also happy to be living with Rosie again, especially in the wake of her lose. I hate to be away from her at this point in time. Overall, there's a lot of potential growth for this house and for myself every moment I spend in it, and when i think about that I find it very hard to leave it behind.
Tonight Rosie, Skot, and myself are going back to Michigan. Rosie is planning on coming back with her van in a week. At this point I'm not sure if I want to return with her. Defining my time in the Happy House as good or bad is more or less an even split down the middle. Scott, also formerly of LAHSC, offered me a pretty good job if I decided to come back to LA. Even though there's still a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth from last time (just like the time before that), I think about all the people I know, the former BGH kids, the LAHSC peeps, and I guess one or two people from the Fund, it all tastes a little sweeter. Or, in the end, I could stay in Michigan, and pray my sanity will remain intact to see the snow melt. Again, I find myself at a very difficult crossroad in life. I always seem to make the wrong choice, but it's always the lesser of two evils. I'm in a moment of transition again. I've surely reached the end of this world. In the coming week I as I am will shatter and something new and fresh will emerge from the pieces.
Where does the newborn go from here? The net is vast and infinite.