The Path Was Open
Saturday was Jay's memorial service. It was a hurricane sadness, pain, anger, and uninhibited joy. I just couldn't begin to describe it, but I can simply say it was how a funeral should be. We mourned his lose and then we celebrated his life with a great, burning passion. He touched a lot of people and will be so very missed.
Now there's no more reason to be here, but here I am, and with a heavy sadness I have to admit here I will probably be staying. It seems more than likely Florida won't be happening, at least not the way I had hoped. I want to cry and scream and punch the walls which seem to grow taller and thicker every day, but I can only sit here, numb and devoid of emotion. I can't stand it. I don't know what I can or what I should do to save myself. And I can't rely on other people for advice or help, because relying on someone else is the cause of this whole predicament. Still, this weight is a bit much for me. It would be nice to have another's shoulder available. Trade our burdens, and help each keep the balance as we make our way down this worn, desolate path. A friend or friends who are limping along the same road as you. Argh, I'm frustrated and I'm lonely. "I got nobody on my side and surely that ain't right.....surely that ain't right."
Now there's no more reason to be here, but here I am, and with a heavy sadness I have to admit here I will probably be staying. It seems more than likely Florida won't be happening, at least not the way I had hoped. I want to cry and scream and punch the walls which seem to grow taller and thicker every day, but I can only sit here, numb and devoid of emotion. I can't stand it. I don't know what I can or what I should do to save myself. And I can't rely on other people for advice or help, because relying on someone else is the cause of this whole predicament. Still, this weight is a bit much for me. It would be nice to have another's shoulder available. Trade our burdens, and help each keep the balance as we make our way down this worn, desolate path. A friend or friends who are limping along the same road as you. Argh, I'm frustrated and I'm lonely. "I got nobody on my side and surely that ain't right.....surely that ain't right."