Fitting into the world...
Yes, I'm making yet another attempt at resurrecting this journal. I won't go into long ramblings as to why I'm doing it again this time, nor will I make promises about writing, updates and all that kind of thing. I'm hoping if I don't make a commitment, it won't feel so much like work :)
I've been pondering a lot lately about where and how I fit in to this entire world that surrounds us. I admit, I've got a mess of friends, but few that I consider very close. Even those that are "close", they're generally far away, and it's very difficult to interact with them on a regular basis. So when they go off and live their lives, things tend to feel very... lonely, I guess... which tends to get me down. I look around and notice that that are just very few that are close by that I can say "Huh... maybe I should go hang out with X this weekend". It's kinda disheartening. It's also during times like this that I wish that the world really truly was smaller, and that trips could be easily taken to visit these friends that are spread out all over the world. And when I realize that the world isn't like that... well, let's just say it's a long spiral downwards from there.
I try to correct it... nip it in the bud, so to speak... before it spirals out of control. I tend to focus on what's immediately around me and the positives in my life. I've got many, even though it might not seem like it at the time. While they may be far away, I'm blessed to have the friends that I do. Even the ones I don't talk with regularly, or haven't talked to in a while, I still consider, at least friends, and I know many that don't have that much. I've got a loving wife and a baby girl that never fails to put a smile on my face. Financially, I'm... managing, which is also much better than a majority of the world. I've got a supportive family... getting love from my parents and my in-laws. All in all, I don't have much to complain about, so when I start feeling down, I try to notice those and treasure those great blessings in life.
Does it always work? No, not always. It seems when ya get down, it kinda becomes all encompassing, which sucks. The only positive thing I can really say is that, in the end, it's just a passing thing, and life will pick up. It's just tough to come to that conclusion. And once you have, it's hard to feel much comfort at all since the feeling IS as strong as it is. But I much rather try than to roll over, get all emo and mope and sulk over what I don't have, rather than what I do. And like anything, it takes practice. You need to continue to work at it, and push yourself to get better at shoving those negative feelings aside. After 38 years on this planet, I can't say I feel like I'm much better at it, but I'm trying. In the end, you may realize you don't fit into this world, but you can certainly make the most of standing out...
I've been pondering a lot lately about where and how I fit in to this entire world that surrounds us. I admit, I've got a mess of friends, but few that I consider very close. Even those that are "close", they're generally far away, and it's very difficult to interact with them on a regular basis. So when they go off and live their lives, things tend to feel very... lonely, I guess... which tends to get me down. I look around and notice that that are just very few that are close by that I can say "Huh... maybe I should go hang out with X this weekend". It's kinda disheartening. It's also during times like this that I wish that the world really truly was smaller, and that trips could be easily taken to visit these friends that are spread out all over the world. And when I realize that the world isn't like that... well, let's just say it's a long spiral downwards from there.
I try to correct it... nip it in the bud, so to speak... before it spirals out of control. I tend to focus on what's immediately around me and the positives in my life. I've got many, even though it might not seem like it at the time. While they may be far away, I'm blessed to have the friends that I do. Even the ones I don't talk with regularly, or haven't talked to in a while, I still consider, at least friends, and I know many that don't have that much. I've got a loving wife and a baby girl that never fails to put a smile on my face. Financially, I'm... managing, which is also much better than a majority of the world. I've got a supportive family... getting love from my parents and my in-laws. All in all, I don't have much to complain about, so when I start feeling down, I try to notice those and treasure those great blessings in life.
Does it always work? No, not always. It seems when ya get down, it kinda becomes all encompassing, which sucks. The only positive thing I can really say is that, in the end, it's just a passing thing, and life will pick up. It's just tough to come to that conclusion. And once you have, it's hard to feel much comfort at all since the feeling IS as strong as it is. But I much rather try than to roll over, get all emo and mope and sulk over what I don't have, rather than what I do. And like anything, it takes practice. You need to continue to work at it, and push yourself to get better at shoving those negative feelings aside. After 38 years on this planet, I can't say I feel like I'm much better at it, but I'm trying. In the end, you may realize you don't fit into this world, but you can certainly make the most of standing out...