[Dong Bang Shin Ki] For the Best
As Dong Bang Shin Ki's manager, you see many things that other people do not. You are like a silent sixth member, the protector, the watcher, always there if needed, in the background if not. Sometimes you're so good at your role that even the boys themselves do not realize you are there.
Being so close to them, you see the little glances from one particular member to another, glances that convey warmth and care. You see the simple touches that give encouragement throughout the day of endless work. Being within a few steps away, you are the first to see when the smile slowly changes from that of between friends, to something more.
You are their manager. You are trained to notice things that others do not. You are hired to be the one in the background, working out their schedule or what to say during an interview, the one to make sure that bad publicity never gets too out of hand, or to make sure that fans never get too close to the idols themselves. You are their bodyguard in all sense of the word.
So when you see that the handholding now lasts longer than just a few seconds, that looks exchanging between two boys now include shy smiles, when you realize that the friendship is developing into something more, you know it is time for you to step in. But you hesitate; the reason Dong Bang Shin Ki is successful is because the boys are close. It is because they share the same living area, the same personal space, the same pain and tears that they can be strong and unite against the harshness of the entertainment world. It is their love for each other that weathers them through the endless work, tirelessly striving their all for that single moment of glory on the stage that they selflessly share with each other.
But you know that it would not last, not if they start to develop other feelings for each other. No matter how close they are, no matter how much they love each other, they will not survive against the criticism against homosexuals in this society. So you, as their protector and friend, harden your heart and your feelings. You tell yourself over and over again that what you are about to do is for their own good, that you are saving them from a world of pain in the future. You try not to think about the pain that they will go through right now.
You wonder just when did you, a seasoned businessman, well versed in the selling of talents and pretty faces, suddenly become so attached to these young men, barely out of boyhood. But you know it has to be done, even if it hurts them now, even if it brings sharp pain into your own heart, because surely it will all be worth it. Years from now, they will see the good you did them and you can celebrate their success with them, together like the big Dong Bang family you are.
So in the aftermath of the Banjun Theater, you harden your heart and calls for a group meeting. You start right at the center, telling them that the fanservices are going to change. You desperately ignore their shocked eyes as you say that Jaeho is becoming too predictable, that Jaechun would make a great dynamic to their on-stage lives; that Jaemin is something the fans are enthusiastically getting into. You tell them that they must live for the fans, that whatever the fans want, they must be prepared to give. You emphasize criticisms from the anti-Yoosu fans, the anti-Jaeho fans, and dramatize the scandal that would occur if they keep up the current paired fanservicing that would upset the entire Korean society. Think of the headlines, you say, seeing the confusion and veiled longing in each boy's eyes as they look at the one they have feelings for. But you are already too far in, and you think this is what needs to be done to protect Dong Bang Shin Ki, to protect this family.
The next day finds you in the van with the boys, and you can feel the tension, the longing and pain each is going through, but you remind yourself that fame and fortune is not a path paved with gold and silver, but broken shards of red glass. But you are proud of them, of their strength and determination as they pose in front of the camera. Jaejoong hugs Yoochun close while Yunho and Junsu looks on with disinterest, all smiles even if you know their hearts are breaking. The entire photoshoot, Yunho and Jaejoong did not so much as share a single glance, while Yoochun and Junsu alternatively showers attention on Changmin, but never each other, never at the same time.
You remind yourself time and again that this is good, that this is for their protection. You pull Yunho, ever the responsible leader, aside and tell him that he is the only one you have faith in, the one you trust to do the right thing. You remind him that Dong Bang Shin Ki will be hurt if he and Jaejoong keep touching each other, that fans are everywhere, recording their images. You have no privacy, you say, not as part of Dong Bang Shin Ki, not if you and the others want to protect that space on the stage from the other entertainers who are always ready to snatch your hard work away. Don't be weak, you tell him, protect the others who don't understand. Protect Jaejoong. And Yunho looks back at you with all the shards of his heart broken by fame, by you, and he nods. I'll protect them, he says with determination. And you pat him on the back and repeat how proud you are of him, how proud you are of them all, and tell yourself again that what you are doing is right.
You are their manager and closest aside from each other, and so you know each the best. You know very well that even if Yunho is ready to do the right thing, the others might not. So when Jaejoong comes to you, hurt yet unwilling to cry in front of you, asking why Yunho is so cold all of a sudden, you smile and comforts the young man with words of encouragement. You say you will help him win Yunho back. You say In two weeks is the shooting for the variety show all five of you will be on. Sing to him a special song, and he will know your feelings. You remind him of Hug, their first debut single, the song that was special to Jaejoong and Yunho in particular because you know of their late night practices until their throats are sore, just so they can be sure that the live performances will be perfect. Sing it to him, you say smoothly, even as you cringe in disgust at your own despicable actions, even as you turn away in shame after Jaejoong thanked you with bright eyes.
Two weeks later, only you know why suddenly the two oldest members stop talking altogether, why Changmin suddenly becomes the other half of Jaejoong, why Yunho stops looking at the other man, and why you had to rush to the bathroom to dry heave into the toilet bowl after Jaejoong comes to you saying wistfully, painfully, Thanks for the idea, hyung, even if it didn't work out. Only you know of the guilt that gnaws relentlessly at your guts every time either of them looks at you, trusting that you alone will not betray them.
Separating Yoochun and Junsu is even easier. You tell Jaejoong that Jaechun is good for the fans, that Yunho completely approves, and by the next day the oldest is already hanging all over the confused man in question. You tell him that Yunho would be grateful, because this would promote the popularity of the group. You remind him that Dong Bang Shin Ki is the most important, that to Yunho nothing is more important than their success, and he caves easily, silently, under your misguided encouragement.
You watch as Yoochun, confused, muddle through Jaejoong's advances, watch as Junsu now look at Yoochun with pain, and look at Jaejoong with betrayal. And when Junsu comes to you for advice, you remind him gently that Jaejoong is a very attractive man, that he is gentle, warm-hearted, and loving, and Junsu leaves an hour later with tears in his eyes, and the believe that Yoochun would be better off with Jaejoong.
Now Yunho only smiles in front of a camera. Now Jaejoong touches Yoochun constantly, with fingers so cold that it burns. Now Junsu refuses to look at anyone else, only at the camera, at his fans. Now Yoochun and Changmin just hurt, crushed under the pain and confusion, and wondering where it all went wrong.
And you remind yourself again that this is all for the best.