I Think I Prefer Sudden...
Death, that is.
My grandfather's been in the hospital, and yesterday, or rather, monday night was when I got the news that depending on how the tests turned out, they'd unhook everything and let him do his thing on wednesday. As we feared, the tests were not good, so as of tuesday night, the plan was to unhook things wednesday, and move him into the hospice wing of the hospital....
My mom called me about 30 minutes go.
He's gone.
In some ways, I wish he'd gone sooner, before "plans" had to be made. It's a tough enough blow as it is, but... knowing ahead of time that today (wed- I haven't gone to bed yet) they were going to unhook everything... and then knowing that it was happening today....
There's a difference between knowing that someone probably doesn't have much time left, and knowing WHEN(ish) it's going to happen. It's that knowing when ahead of time that kills you, because you not only have to deal with the impending death, but you've got that horrible anticipation of knowing it's about to happen to deal with as well. In some ways, that just makes it worse.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. I've got the bathroom done and the pictures hung, so now... Now I don't know.
In case you're curious, I repainted our public bathroom. It's been something I'd been thinking about for a while, and with everything that was going on, I mentioned it to the husband. So when I got home tuesday night, and we went to wal-mart, I picked up some paint cards. Before we went to bed, we decided we liked on of the colors and that that was the one we'd go with. When I got to bed though, I couldn't sleep, and the dark just made things worse. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with it all, so about 3 in the morning, I went back up to wal-mart to pick up the paint, and proceeded to clean the walls and repaint til about 6. It was a coping mechanism more than anything, but I DID want a different color in there, and it's a really pretty shade we picked out. So tonight after the husband went to bed, I put on the second coat and did all the edges and trim and such. After it was all dry, I hung the few small pics that we wanted in there. I was about to hang the last one when my mom called.
I'm still not sure I want to deal with it just yet... but I know I have to eventually. I just don't think it's sunk in yet. And I can't make it out there (they're in houston) for the memorial service, so... I'm not quite sure when it will sink in fully.
Anyway, I guess that's all for now.
Later.
My grandfather's been in the hospital, and yesterday, or rather, monday night was when I got the news that depending on how the tests turned out, they'd unhook everything and let him do his thing on wednesday. As we feared, the tests were not good, so as of tuesday night, the plan was to unhook things wednesday, and move him into the hospice wing of the hospital....
My mom called me about 30 minutes go.
He's gone.
In some ways, I wish he'd gone sooner, before "plans" had to be made. It's a tough enough blow as it is, but... knowing ahead of time that today (wed- I haven't gone to bed yet) they were going to unhook everything... and then knowing that it was happening today....
There's a difference between knowing that someone probably doesn't have much time left, and knowing WHEN(ish) it's going to happen. It's that knowing when ahead of time that kills you, because you not only have to deal with the impending death, but you've got that horrible anticipation of knowing it's about to happen to deal with as well. In some ways, that just makes it worse.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. I've got the bathroom done and the pictures hung, so now... Now I don't know.
In case you're curious, I repainted our public bathroom. It's been something I'd been thinking about for a while, and with everything that was going on, I mentioned it to the husband. So when I got home tuesday night, and we went to wal-mart, I picked up some paint cards. Before we went to bed, we decided we liked on of the colors and that that was the one we'd go with. When I got to bed though, I couldn't sleep, and the dark just made things worse. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with it all, so about 3 in the morning, I went back up to wal-mart to pick up the paint, and proceeded to clean the walls and repaint til about 6. It was a coping mechanism more than anything, but I DID want a different color in there, and it's a really pretty shade we picked out. So tonight after the husband went to bed, I put on the second coat and did all the edges and trim and such. After it was all dry, I hung the few small pics that we wanted in there. I was about to hang the last one when my mom called.
I'm still not sure I want to deal with it just yet... but I know I have to eventually. I just don't think it's sunk in yet. And I can't make it out there (they're in houston) for the memorial service, so... I'm not quite sure when it will sink in fully.
Anyway, I guess that's all for now.
Later.