Caaaaaaannes
Movies are one of the many things that demonstrate to me that my sense of shame is apparently not fully developed. For instance, I've seen Cannibal Holocaust, which I probably should feel bad about but don't, and I also enjoyed Nacho Libre. Yeah, fuck you too.
Anyways, I'm pretty much the only person in the world who will admit to wanting to see Antichrist, the latest Lars Von Trier movie that's getting people all bent out of shape. Probably cause of the whole "cutting off my own clit with a pair of scissors" thing.
There are several reasons, however, that everyone should see this movie:
Lars Von Trier. He says some douchebaggy things, like how he's god and the best director in the world and everything, but he's actually a really good director who makes challenging movies that if nothing else will make people stop stuffing popcorn down their gaping maws while they're being shown. I still remember going to see The Passion of the Bleeding Suffering OW OH GOD DON'T YOU FEEL BAD Christ (another movie I should feel more shame about) and having a whole row full of people shoveling extra-buttered popcorn into their gullets so that half the dialogue was drowned out with "poor Jesus *HOMPF HOMPF CHOMP SLURRRP*". Although I guess there wasn't much dialogue to miss.
Willem Dafoe. He's like the new old Christopher Walken. Back about ten-fifteen years or so ago, Christopher Walken could actually be creepy in a movie, and it wasn't a self-referential joke. Willem Dafoe has almost reached that point, but he can still show up in a movie and give a powerful performance without making you wonder when he's going to start dancing or when someone is going to yell "didi mao!" from the back rows. I will go because he will make things ten times more awkward and unsettling to watch and it will be awesome.
Talking animals. Apparently there are going to be talking animals in this movie. I'm not sure if this is actually going to be a reason to see this movie or not, but I have this fervent, schoolboy-on-Christmas-Eve hope that the movie will include a talking dog who will accompany the action with his comments. "Ree Rilliam, ri rink rou should rit rour rotum with this roo-by-four! Ruh roh!" Or perhaps "ruh ruman rubconscious ris a rightful repulchre rof rall rumanity's rendevours *scooby doo chuckle*". If they could work that in, I'd buy four tickets each time.
Anyways, I'm pretty much the only person in the world who will admit to wanting to see Antichrist, the latest Lars Von Trier movie that's getting people all bent out of shape. Probably cause of the whole "cutting off my own clit with a pair of scissors" thing.
There are several reasons, however, that everyone should see this movie:
Lars Von Trier. He says some douchebaggy things, like how he's god and the best director in the world and everything, but he's actually a really good director who makes challenging movies that if nothing else will make people stop stuffing popcorn down their gaping maws while they're being shown. I still remember going to see The Passion of the Bleeding Suffering OW OH GOD DON'T YOU FEEL BAD Christ (another movie I should feel more shame about) and having a whole row full of people shoveling extra-buttered popcorn into their gullets so that half the dialogue was drowned out with "poor Jesus *HOMPF HOMPF CHOMP SLURRRP*". Although I guess there wasn't much dialogue to miss.
Willem Dafoe. He's like the new old Christopher Walken. Back about ten-fifteen years or so ago, Christopher Walken could actually be creepy in a movie, and it wasn't a self-referential joke. Willem Dafoe has almost reached that point, but he can still show up in a movie and give a powerful performance without making you wonder when he's going to start dancing or when someone is going to yell "didi mao!" from the back rows. I will go because he will make things ten times more awkward and unsettling to watch and it will be awesome.
Talking animals. Apparently there are going to be talking animals in this movie. I'm not sure if this is actually going to be a reason to see this movie or not, but I have this fervent, schoolboy-on-Christmas-Eve hope that the movie will include a talking dog who will accompany the action with his comments. "Ree Rilliam, ri rink rou should rit rour rotum with this roo-by-four! Ruh roh!" Or perhaps "ruh ruman rubconscious ris a rightful repulchre rof rall rumanity's rendevours *scooby doo chuckle*". If they could work that in, I'd buy four tickets each time.