::sigh:: lay me down...my heart will turn to stone and blow away..
ick...ok so when i thought i was doing better...i really wasn't. ugh soooo...basically yea, i got my report card..er last thursday, wasn't bad man! well let's see...::ahem::
`english 4: C
`drawing 4: B
`chemistry: D EEEEEEEEEEP! ugh chem is hard mofo...
`algebra 2: B EEEEEEEEEEP! well...damn lol...what a polar oppostite..and i really suck at math x_x!
`AP portfolio 2D desing: B ::Ahem:: yes...this is basically an art class...and its cool cause you can do whatever in any media as long as its 2d ^_^!
`us government: C Pssh im from europe what do you expect!
`paintin 3: A yes i take allot of art classes lol...
anyways i didnt give it too my dad because of chem. well i really wanted to do stuff this weekend so yea...eh it was wrong and i knew i was gonna get caught. im a dummy.
before he found out though. we got in a huge fight!!! i couldn't take it anymore...i hated just sitting there crying and not saying anything!! and hes the one that wants me to talk to him, but when i do he tells me "your the kid you sit there and shut up!" and im like.....NO lol...eh i got so upset i thought i was going to vomit on myself...and i could'nt breath. but the next day...he didnt yell at me...just sat there and said basically what else is he suppose to do. tonight...i guess he became a little warmer...i don't say much to him now, he says a little more than i guess he was trying to...i mean i suppose he catches himself saying more, because i know my dad loves me...or at least likes me a bit hah, and he couldn't really seclude himself from me all the way, like say he did with various gf and ex wives. yea im not like them...im not just going to pack up and leave... my dad is thinking about putting me back into therapy..NO THERE IS NOTHING MENTAL WRONG WITH ME! he says it gives me someone to talk to, lol man my last therapist got me outta a bunch of groundings lol...it was neat...lol..i dunno i just feel sometimes hes not thinking. meah...i dunno whats wrong with me...im lonely i guess...but not in the ways you think maybe..
ANYWAYS..brr its cold, everything i touch in my room is freezing!!! i love it. heh im sittin her bundled in my ATREYU hoodie! ::giggles:: eh...ok im freakin lonely lol...yea i just want someone to hold i guess or more who knows...but im not going to get into anything with anyone unless im totally comfortable with them... its different feeling when you find someone that..you know...you just are comfortable with, you love talking to them, about anything and i dunno...i believe what tiffany says and pattey too. there are soulmates probally allot of them, like tiff says, you just have to find the right one, which one clicks the most for you, someone you would give anything just to hold their hand, and connections, i know pattey believes in that, that if you have a strong connection with a person then hey its awesome...the fit with you, ahh its amazing...bleh totall off subject..i find myself missing my mom...it makes me sad...to where i cry...nothings ever going to be the same again...i cry by myself allot...maybe cause im scared to go find someone and say...hey im sad...could you possibly hold me and let me cry on your shoulder? eh i dunno...im missing allot from my life...mosty materialistic and trivial things...but i know im missing someone...i guess...i've kinda wondered what it would be like if i had a bf i totally was just...happy with i guess...maybe i would be happy...never had that...sad i know...i though i would have it with jake or whatever but omg HAHA that was just an effed up situation...ugh and i can't get over him...which i should cause it wasnt him...and omg thats confusing...i should just hit him and be done with it. lol.
On a happier bubbly hey this is awesome note, i talk to chris allot...ugh...well no one would know this chris lol...but is coool! he lives in SA and hes an awesome guy, hes funny haha he really is lol and hes nice...like woa i never knew nice people existed like he does...well at least good lookin guys like him ;) and he thinks he can own me in mortal kombat! pssh ...lol man i rember that game...i used to play MKII like woa...hah my step dad thought it was to violent so he hid it in his sock drawer and i would always take it out and play it when he wasnt home lol!!!!! thats how much i loved mortal combat...im probably rusty as hell...ugh lol...but man when it comes to tekken...watch the eff out..im the masta!!! lol...chris is gonna come over one day and were gonna have loads of fun...and hes going to woop my ass in MK and im going to kick his butt in real life ^_^!!! pshhhhh ugh i think ill take some pictures...then shower...maybework on my website...yay!...lol...urgh...
<3 SORRY ITS LONG BUT MEANINGFULL
`english 4: C
`drawing 4: B
`chemistry: D EEEEEEEEEEP! ugh chem is hard mofo...
`algebra 2: B EEEEEEEEEEP! well...damn lol...what a polar oppostite..and i really suck at math x_x!
`AP portfolio 2D desing: B ::Ahem:: yes...this is basically an art class...and its cool cause you can do whatever in any media as long as its 2d ^_^!
`us government: C Pssh im from europe what do you expect!
`paintin 3: A yes i take allot of art classes lol...
anyways i didnt give it too my dad because of chem. well i really wanted to do stuff this weekend so yea...eh it was wrong and i knew i was gonna get caught. im a dummy.
before he found out though. we got in a huge fight!!! i couldn't take it anymore...i hated just sitting there crying and not saying anything!! and hes the one that wants me to talk to him, but when i do he tells me "your the kid you sit there and shut up!" and im like.....NO lol...eh i got so upset i thought i was going to vomit on myself...and i could'nt breath. but the next day...he didnt yell at me...just sat there and said basically what else is he suppose to do. tonight...i guess he became a little warmer...i don't say much to him now, he says a little more than i guess he was trying to...i mean i suppose he catches himself saying more, because i know my dad loves me...or at least likes me a bit hah, and he couldn't really seclude himself from me all the way, like say he did with various gf and ex wives. yea im not like them...im not just going to pack up and leave... my dad is thinking about putting me back into therapy..NO THERE IS NOTHING MENTAL WRONG WITH ME! he says it gives me someone to talk to, lol man my last therapist got me outta a bunch of groundings lol...it was neat...lol..i dunno i just feel sometimes hes not thinking. meah...i dunno whats wrong with me...im lonely i guess...but not in the ways you think maybe..
ANYWAYS..brr its cold, everything i touch in my room is freezing!!! i love it. heh im sittin her bundled in my ATREYU hoodie! ::giggles:: eh...ok im freakin lonely lol...yea i just want someone to hold i guess or more who knows...but im not going to get into anything with anyone unless im totally comfortable with them... its different feeling when you find someone that..you know...you just are comfortable with, you love talking to them, about anything and i dunno...i believe what tiffany says and pattey too. there are soulmates probally allot of them, like tiff says, you just have to find the right one, which one clicks the most for you, someone you would give anything just to hold their hand, and connections, i know pattey believes in that, that if you have a strong connection with a person then hey its awesome...the fit with you, ahh its amazing...bleh totall off subject..i find myself missing my mom...it makes me sad...to where i cry...nothings ever going to be the same again...i cry by myself allot...maybe cause im scared to go find someone and say...hey im sad...could you possibly hold me and let me cry on your shoulder? eh i dunno...im missing allot from my life...mosty materialistic and trivial things...but i know im missing someone...i guess...i've kinda wondered what it would be like if i had a bf i totally was just...happy with i guess...maybe i would be happy...never had that...sad i know...i though i would have it with jake or whatever but omg HAHA that was just an effed up situation...ugh and i can't get over him...which i should cause it wasnt him...and omg thats confusing...i should just hit him and be done with it. lol.
On a happier bubbly hey this is awesome note, i talk to chris allot...ugh...well no one would know this chris lol...but is coool! he lives in SA and hes an awesome guy, hes funny haha he really is lol and hes nice...like woa i never knew nice people existed like he does...well at least good lookin guys like him ;) and he thinks he can own me in mortal kombat! pssh ...lol man i rember that game...i used to play MKII like woa...hah my step dad thought it was to violent so he hid it in his sock drawer and i would always take it out and play it when he wasnt home lol!!!!! thats how much i loved mortal combat...im probably rusty as hell...ugh lol...but man when it comes to tekken...watch the eff out..im the masta!!! lol...chris is gonna come over one day and were gonna have loads of fun...and hes going to woop my ass in MK and im going to kick his butt in real life ^_^!!! pshhhhh ugh i think ill take some pictures...then shower...maybework on my website...yay!...lol...urgh...
<3 SORRY ITS LONG BUT MEANINGFULL