The Massive AWE Review

[kaellana]

So I've written fic, written meta, and seen the movie twice, and I've finally gotten down to writing my huge AWE review. And why, yes, I'm the biggest procrastinator this side of the Equator. Here be spoilers, obviously! And I'm leaving this entry public in case anyone else happens to stumble across it, and wants to take me up on some things.

• Love the opening. Having a child singing a haunting pirate song? A perfect mirroring of the first film. There are a lot of CotBP references in AWE, which is partly why I prefer it so immensely to DMC. The whole set-up is powerful - the lines of seedy prisoners, the multiple hangings (although the pile of boots felt a little clichéd to me), and all taking place in the Fort Charles we know and love. Having Groves reading out the new laws and what looked like the same hangman (though I doubt it was) really drove home the severity of the situation - old characters doing terrible things. We'd heard Cutler was bad, but now we have proof.
  
  Though to be honest, I'm not sure how I felt about the hanging of the boy. As with the boot-pile, it felt a tad gratuitous to me, and a bit of a cop-out. I'd have liked it if the writers could have managed to impose just how bad Cutler is without going for the stereotypical "ZOMG HE KILLS KIDS" route. But I digress.
  
  But overall, a great opening. I adore the song. And random, but I also love this woman. No idea who she is, but she looks like she'd kick arse.


• Singapore. Again, this is LOVE. Elizabeth singing - who knew Keira had such a pretty voice? The sinister quiet, the omnipresent Navy, but most importantly - HECTOR. I don't think I'll be alone when I say he made the movie for me. Without a doubt he was what was missing from DMC. When he came onscreen for the first time here I just about died of squee. Amazing.
  
  Some people have complained this part dragged like the Cannibal sequence in DMC, but I don't think you can compare the two at all. This had everything, some good jokes (Ragetti's peering through holes with his wooden eye - another reference to CotBP), some excellent jokes (Elizabeth producing the many weapons - love the facial and physical acting from Keira on this one), interesting dialogue, good fight scenes, and a monkey doing the music. What's not to love? And, oh Will. All grown-up and plotting betrayal before the first proper sequence is even over. I love him when he's badass.
  
  ...And okay, they did have a fireworks factory exploding, but what did you expect from Bruckheimer? Subtlety?
  
  And again, a random point, though this might make me sound old, but what is up with Disney showing a gunshot wound to the head in a kid's movie? Not that I have a problem with it, just... it wasn't expected.


• James gets his sword back! And yes, I squeed. Seeing that sword was like seeing an old friend again. And I thought Davenport played the part perfectly. And poor, dear Weatherby in the corner, looking very haggard. I knew then for certain he was a goner.


• The graphics in what I call the "Sailin' in a Winter Wonderland" sequence were superb. Far better than anything I've seen in another movie so far this year. A sure bet for an Oscar nomination.


• ...And the breaking the toe joke was not funny, just gross. >.>


• Now, the multiple Jack sequence. I'll be honest: I didn't like it. I loved the introduction where they played clips from the ride, and I loved the idea of him hallucinating himself. But somehow... it didn't feel right to me. It dragged on for too long. And the initial thought that ran in my head? "Good God, the contribution Keith Richards made to the film was to write a sequence based on one of his acid trips."
  
  Though I'll admit - having Jack sail into view just as he did in CotBP, only this time on crab-power, was wonderful.
  
  ...And I'll also admit I've made several jokes over the past few days about Tia Dalma giving Jack Sparrow crabs.


• "Hector" is canon! I was so happy when Jack spoke his name. In fact I loved his whole interaction with everyone here - mocking Will for his damsel addiction, pointedly ignoring Elizabeth and then picking a crew in the most Jack-ish of ways.


• ..."I'd vote for you." Serious Ragetti/Pintel vibes. O.o


• Will being all manly and grrr and shoving into walls? I LIKE. I was disappointed they didn't kiss, actually.


• ...Elizabeth seeing her dad. Oh God. This... made me cry. Brilliant acting from Keira again. You can see her move through the stages of grief, and when she screams and cries at the end it tore at me. Such a fantastic scene. Weatherby is just wonderful, and I wish he didn't have to die. You can see the shock on everyone's faces, even Jack's. And notice how Jack rushed with the rest to stop Elizabeth jumping off? Some people have said him forgiving her for DMC was rushed later in the movie, but I think you can see hints of it even here. He can't help but feel sympathy deep down.


• Didn't like the reappearance of multiple Jacks, but adored the pure Jack Sparrow style of getting everyone to rock the boat.


• Hilarious scene where they all draw their pistols at each other. And seamless too, the way each one would point at a different person when another one moved. I expect there are a couple of hilarious bloopers resulting from practicing it. ;D


• ...Beckett killed the Kraken. BECKETT KILLED THE FREAKIN' KRAKEN. In my mind? THAT IS SO MUCH MORE EVIL THAN HANGING A CHILD.
  
  
• Here's where it started getting confusing. Here's the Pearl, and wait, there's the Empress - no, wait, there's the Endeavour too. And the Navy are here, and then they're there, and suddenly Jack's over there and Elizabeth's being taken there and... what? Didn't get it at all the first time, though it sunk in on second viewing.
  
  I understand Beckett made a deal with Jack, hence why he released him, but I thought he'd be smarter than to let three Pirate Lords sail away. Obviously he couldn't have known who they all were, but I think he'd at least have twigged they were all rather formidable captains. Twigged it and done something about it. Considering the pirates didn't have control of the Pearl at the time, Beckett could have easily blown them to pieces.


• Also, it made me sad that there was no talk of the Wicked Wench backstory with Jack, Cutler and the slavers - only a close-up of his brand, which we'd already had in DMC. I'll cross my fingers for deleted scenes, but won't get my hopes up. D:


• OMG RAEP!!1! scene. Didn't like it. Loved Elizabeth playing a smart game, but the rape aspect felt contrived and cheap. If you're a Pirate Lord and you want a goddess to be merciful to you when you release her, the last thing you're going to do is assault her. Also, Sao Feng needs to work on his eyebrows - bushy is not a good look. And then Elizabeth and her patented Kiss of Death. What is up with that woman?


• James. Here he is, and you can see the love in his eyes, in his cautiously tender embrace, in his fiercely protective nature. You can see his confusion and hurt over the death of the Governor. And you can see how he starts to think he's chosen the wrong side. And... here's Bootstrap Bill. Now, I'm going to rant on him later, so for now I'll simply say: just because you've got Alzheimer's, it doesn't make you a good character.


• Will being badass again. Such love. Body-barrel-buoys, who'd have thunk it? And he's pwned by the power of Jack's breath. Got to love that. Although one wonders why Elizabeth was so keen to kiss him if it was really that bad?


• And after that brief interlude, we're back on the Dutchman, and back with James and... it's that scene.
  
  It's wonderful how he switched sides. His talk with Elizabeth was heart-wrenching, the kiss even more so. But his death. How he was killed. I. Am. Not. Happy. I feel cheated, and to be quite frank this is the part of the movie I hate the most.
  
  I'm not angry because he died. I'd had a feeling for a while he was going to, much as I disliked it. But I never thought the writers would kill him off like this. James Norrington has long been established as one of the greatest swordsmen in the Caribbean. He's strong, he's fast, he's cunning and brave. He charged head-on towards a crew of un-dead, un-killable pirates. He took on both Will Turner and Jack Sparrow at the same time, in the middle of a huge, spinning wheel. He's "the scourge of piracy in the Eastern Caribbean", as Jack Davenport put it.
  
  So to have him brought down with a single thrust from shuffling, incompetent, half-brain dead Bootstrap Bill is not only implausible, it's infuriating.
  
  It's even more infuriating because it served no purpose. Never once does Bill dwell on what he has done - in fact, James is never mentioned again. It has no effect on Bill's character, bar to set up his hostility for when he later attacks Will, and that could have been done in other ways. Here's my rant on Bill: I don't like him. I didn't like him much in DMC, and if anything he only worsened in my eyes in this film. He seemed to have no real character - he was just a thing for Will to fight for. If the entire force driving Will is this man, then at least make him have something resembling a personality. Make him interesting, give him some more screentime. As it is, we have a fish-man who's less interesting than watching paint dry. I certainly wouldn't risk my life to save him.
  
  It's not my place to say how the movie should have been written, but in my opinion it would have been far better (both in terms of more fun to watch, and more logical) for Norrington to hold Bootstrap at bay for a while, and then swing away from the ship. He could then help Elizabeth get to safety, and later be killed off in the final, climatic battle, fighting side-by-side with his friends. Perhaps he could die taking a blow for Elizabeth. The details are not important - what is important is that his death as it is was made cheap, and not given the gravity it deserved. We've followed his arc since the beginning, and I thought Ted and Terry cared more about him than this. For shame.


• Happier things follow though, and... evil, snarky Will? Drinking tea? The stuff dreams are made of. Wonderful way to lift the spirits. His little "mmm" as he took a sip made me giggle.


• Love love love the Brethren. Just... love. All of the Lords were perfect, each one having a real character about them. The way Elizabeth was made King was completely logical. In fact, while I'm talking about Elizabeth, let me say that... I didn't find her Sueish. No more so than any other characters in the movie. She was strong and clever, and despite being thrust into positions of responsibility by others she took them in her stride. You can see how the grief hardened her. Totally believable. She's one of my favourite characters.


• Keith Richards was... far better than I expected. In fact, he actually displayed acting skills! Nice to meet Jack's mother. And seeing Jack say "How's mum?"... it gave his character a really human quality I felt had been lacking for a while. After a long time playing the immortal, we finally get to see Jack for what he is - a real man, with real hopes and fears.


• Tia and Jones in the brig. Made me very, very sad. It was pretty clear from that point they were doomed. Seeing the real Bill Nighy was something of a guh moment and... well, I just felt so sorry for the pair of them. A real element of the bittersweet.


• The battles starts and... OH GOD THE GUITAR RIFF!!! GUITARS OF FREAKIN' WAR! So very 300-esque. I laughed. A LOT. It reminded me a Western or something. They practically did a hip shot for Will, Cutler and Davy. Oh - and when Lizzie told Beckett he was, quite simply, dead? I cheered a little.


• This is where it really started hotting up. Most reviews said the last section of the film was the best, and I quite agree. Although... Attack of the 5000 Foot Calypso-Zilla somewhat detracted from it. I hoped they'd be more subtle. And was I the only one who cracked up at Barbossa's attempts to sound like a lover? If my lover started talking to me in that voice, I'd be out of there before he could finish yelling.


• And then the battle. I feel that should be capitalised. Anyway, The Battle was jaw-droppingly amazing. I was constantly on the edge of my seat. Five star graphics, stunts, explosions, everything. Elizabeth did her rousing speech to great effect, Barbossa took helm (I squeed) and everything just felt right from thereon in. Swinging from ship to ship. Familiar faces from CotBP showing up once again. Jack taking on Davy to a rousing crescendo.


• And the wedding? Cheesy? Yes. But the right kind of cheese. Adored it. Just what we needed, and Barbossa can do the honours at my ceremony any day. The way Will goes "Great! 8D" (with his face actually mirroring that emoticon) when Elizabeth says "Yes"... makes my heart melt. ♥


• ...But Will. Oh Will. I didn't see the death coming like that, and this made me cry a second time. It wasn't just his death, but the reactions you saw from the other characters. Jack and Elizabeth. Heartbreaking. Nobody in the cinema laughed at the parachute joke, because everyone was still completely bowled over by the death. I felt so sorry for Elizabeth at that moment - in the space of a few days she's lost her father, her childhood friend and now her husband. And I was very proud of Jack. For me, this was his defining moment. He was a good man. The one everyone had always believed him to be. You saw in his eyes that it was partly out of necessity he did what he did, but also partly out of real concern for the whelp.
  
  The crew closing in on Will sent shivers down my spine, and for a terrible moment I actually thought they'd show Will carving his heart out - thankfully Disney weren't that brave.

And just when all hope seems lost... Will's back again! How unexpected. Looking not at all shabby, I might add - though I wonder where he was able to find his bandana at the bottom of the maelstrom.


• Here comes Beckett's comeuppance. Nice to see Groves doing the smart thing and making a very neat dive out of the way before he can come to harm. As for Beckett himself... apparently he has a magical ability to dodge flying debris? I kept waiting for him to get hit and knocked unconscious by a chunk of banister. Curiously enough, his final death actually reminded me of the last shot we have of Gollum in ROTK, before he's consumed by the fire. "We only wants the Prrrreciousss, for it's just good businessssss?"


• Murtogg and Mullroy = Greatest Pirates Ever. Murtogg, Mullroy, Pintel and Ragetti? = OT4. SHIVER ME TIMBERS.
  
  
• The Farewell Scene. Barbossa's "Mrs. Turner" - another nod to the first movie, and weirdly I got some B/E vibes. Though I got a lot of shippy vibes in this movie. I was surprised Gibbs didn't hug her. And Jack... the goodbye to Jack was spot-on.


• And the Will/Elizabeth ending scene. The final point at which I cried. And no, I cried at the final passionate embrace, not at the leg-loving - that just made me laugh.
  
  ...And I think we'd better take a second out here to applaud Mr. Turner. It takes him only ONE AFTERNOON to knock up Elizabeth! Now that's skill. GOOD JOB, WHELP! Seems he's not a eunuch after-all. xD


• The ending, then. And I wouldn't have it any other way. A bottle of rum, some salty wenches, a few slaps and... a Teddy Bear. Pure POTC gold. Also, respect to the somewhat ghetto hand-gesture Gibbs and Jack shared. But this... this is exactly how I wanted it to end. Jack back where he started, only even more free than ever now. Without the Pearl, but with a quest on his mind, with his own flag and a song on his lips. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Jack Sparrow.
  
  And personally? I don't think that Aqua de Vida will go the way he wants. It's another adventure in his grand saga. But I think he'll get his immortality eventually.
  
  ...And did anyone else notice that the Fountain of Youth can be found at DisneyWorld, Florida? X marks the spot. Watch Disney, stay young at heart for ever. Can't argue with that. ;D


• And that's that. Except for the post-credits scene, which rounded everything off nicely. I've already made a long meta post detailing my thoughts on the subject, but I'm sticking with Ted and Terry on this one. The curse is lifted, and Will is no longer Captain and free to do what his father could not - bring up his son. It's the Happily Ever After we've all been waiting for.

Writing all this up made me realise one thing - how much I really, truly loved this movie. I didn't hate DMC, but this had everything the second instalment of the trilogy was lacking in, and then some. In some ways, I think AWE is as good as CotBP, just in a very different way. They're completely different styles of film. CotBP is light-hearted, easy to follow, and there's a degree of certainty surrounding everyone's fate. AWE is dark, plotty, and filled with fanservice. Each to their own, and I'm still at CotBP fan at heart, but I'm also a big supporter of AWE. Can't wait to see it again.

...After all, we always have fanfiction to resurrect James. xD