"THE ONE"
Tonight I experienced a very rare, surprising, and yet incredibly precious moment. Something I never thought could actually happen to me, but amazingly, it did.
I learned a life lesson from a sitcom.
I was watching "Charmed" this evening. Yes, I watch "Charmed". I'm a dork. You can laugh at me for maybe 20 more seconds.
There.
Now, I was watching "Charmed", and Nick Lachay and Alyssa Milano (dunno if I spelled ANY of those names correctly... but it's about quarter after one in the morning, shoot me why don't you) were on stage accepting the Reader's Choice award. Alyssa didn't actually write the article, but since Nick was ghostwriting for Alyssa, she could accept the award. When a reporter asked Alyssa what life experience inspired her to write such an article, Alyssa couldn't say anything because she had neither wrote it nor read it.... fortunately, Nick was to the rescue and explained how some girl he thought loved dumped him because she wasn't satisfied with the way he was. He was devastated over the break-up, but then after a while he came to a realization.
Attempting to quote, but you may have to settle for a paraphrase: "I learned that 'The One' is the person who sees how you're so messed up you are, but loves you ANYWAY."
One would think that would be a simple truth. I know I've heard it before. But in light of my past couple journal posts, and in light of my incessant striving for the perfect personality, it would appear that I've forgotten this.
EVERYONE'S fucked up inside. Hahahaha.... yes, everyone is screwed up in some way, shape, or form. I think the beauty is that no one is fucked up in exactly the same way; while people can be fucked up in similar fashions, no two people are fucked up exactly the same. "The One" completely sees this insanity, but loves the person ANYWAY. It's also a two way street.
So yes, I'm fucked up. So are you, so don't get too cocky. The fact of the matter is, I can be fucked up and still find true love because my "one" will see through it all and love me anyway, and I'll see through how he's fucked up and love him anyway. No, there is nothing wrong with noticing things about yourself that put people off and decide to fix them; I will strive to the utmost to eliminate my pushy nature. I will, however, no longer see myself as intrinsically flawed. I will not beat myself up trying to find the combination of faults that keep me from perfection, because they do not exist. I am ME.
Wow.
I am ME!
I am me, I've always been me, and I'm always gonna be me, and if you don't like me for who I am, fuck you. I am me, I'm not gonna be anyone else, and you know what? For the first time that I can recall, I am SATISFIED with just being me. Yes, I'm flawed, and yeah, I can look inward and correct behavior I don't like in myself, but from now on I'm doing it for ME, not for YOU. *I* can strive to be a better person to make *MYSELF* happy. NOT you. And if you don't like me for me... well then, you're just not the one, are you? I'm so sick of people bringing me down because I don't fit their definition of perfection. I'm so sick of not appreciating myself for who I am.
Look out, bitches... Things have changed.
I learned a life lesson from a sitcom.
I was watching "Charmed" this evening. Yes, I watch "Charmed". I'm a dork. You can laugh at me for maybe 20 more seconds.
There.
Now, I was watching "Charmed", and Nick Lachay and Alyssa Milano (dunno if I spelled ANY of those names correctly... but it's about quarter after one in the morning, shoot me why don't you) were on stage accepting the Reader's Choice award. Alyssa didn't actually write the article, but since Nick was ghostwriting for Alyssa, she could accept the award. When a reporter asked Alyssa what life experience inspired her to write such an article, Alyssa couldn't say anything because she had neither wrote it nor read it.... fortunately, Nick was to the rescue and explained how some girl he thought loved dumped him because she wasn't satisfied with the way he was. He was devastated over the break-up, but then after a while he came to a realization.
Attempting to quote, but you may have to settle for a paraphrase: "I learned that 'The One' is the person who sees how you're so messed up you are, but loves you ANYWAY."
One would think that would be a simple truth. I know I've heard it before. But in light of my past couple journal posts, and in light of my incessant striving for the perfect personality, it would appear that I've forgotten this.
EVERYONE'S fucked up inside. Hahahaha.... yes, everyone is screwed up in some way, shape, or form. I think the beauty is that no one is fucked up in exactly the same way; while people can be fucked up in similar fashions, no two people are fucked up exactly the same. "The One" completely sees this insanity, but loves the person ANYWAY. It's also a two way street.
So yes, I'm fucked up. So are you, so don't get too cocky. The fact of the matter is, I can be fucked up and still find true love because my "one" will see through it all and love me anyway, and I'll see through how he's fucked up and love him anyway. No, there is nothing wrong with noticing things about yourself that put people off and decide to fix them; I will strive to the utmost to eliminate my pushy nature. I will, however, no longer see myself as intrinsically flawed. I will not beat myself up trying to find the combination of faults that keep me from perfection, because they do not exist. I am ME.
Wow.
I am ME!
I am me, I've always been me, and I'm always gonna be me, and if you don't like me for who I am, fuck you. I am me, I'm not gonna be anyone else, and you know what? For the first time that I can recall, I am SATISFIED with just being me. Yes, I'm flawed, and yeah, I can look inward and correct behavior I don't like in myself, but from now on I'm doing it for ME, not for YOU. *I* can strive to be a better person to make *MYSELF* happy. NOT you. And if you don't like me for me... well then, you're just not the one, are you? I'm so sick of people bringing me down because I don't fit their definition of perfection. I'm so sick of not appreciating myself for who I am.
Look out, bitches... Things have changed.