(no subject)
I'm sorry to everyone for not being a good person. I'm sorry I feel so detached. Its hard to be a good friend when you don't feel like part of a group. And that's exactly how I feel, like I'm not part of anything. That's not to say I walk around school and don't talk to anyone and make people think I have no friends, because that's not definetly not the case. It's actually what bothers me most. I surround myself every day with different people who make me laugh, and people who I can confide in and bitch to and do whatever I please. And yet, with these people I'm stuck in the middle ground. They're definetly not just acquaintences, because you don't pour out your soul to such people. But then, even if I consider them friends, it's still not reciprocated. So what does it boil down to? The only people who I could define as friends without second guessing myself are now drifting away from me, or rather I'm drifting away from them...or maybe its just a combination of both.
I used to think that I was a sort of glue between people. I brought friends together. I introduced people. I liked to include all my friends. And to think of it, that's because I used to be in the same sort of situation I am in now. I had individual friends, but until they were brought together, I had no group.
I'm just back to the start now, aren't I?
"You'll never share real love until you love yourself." These words popped into my head today and I'm beginning to think this is exactly how I feel.
I used to think that I was a sort of glue between people. I brought friends together. I introduced people. I liked to include all my friends. And to think of it, that's because I used to be in the same sort of situation I am in now. I had individual friends, but until they were brought together, I had no group.
I'm just back to the start now, aren't I?
"You'll never share real love until you love yourself." These words popped into my head today and I'm beginning to think this is exactly how I feel.