(no subject)
Well, so much for going to bed early. It's 3am and I'm still not asleep.
I joined a live journal community today, the official lesbian one. Just for fun and to do more junk online but I think that might have been a mistake.
Almost everyone that posted has a girlfriend, making me feel like a complete failure in the love department. At least I was able to post a pic of me and Kitty kissing to add to their little "picture day" posts but wow do I feel low.
To make matters worse, our little sexcapades have left me wanting more almost all the time. I'm so eager to keep trying it and I miss kissing her every week. I hate that I want it. I hate that I appear to be the sex crazed one when ever since I met her she's been the most sex-crazed person I've ever seen.
Since it's all I think about lately, I feel like I might just be using her for sex, and the entire idea makes my head hurt. Yeah, sure I guess that's what I'm doing...but is that okay? I can't help but feel bad if that is the case, that I just want her for sex. That's not why she wants me. Ha no. I don't know what she wants me for.
It's been so hard to get her to come over and I have to push and push to make plans happen because she gets so darn distracted and never gets back to me. Okay, so she's not Miss Reliable... still it makes me feel like I'm being needy. I just want her to myself for a day. Not at a party and NOT around Tree. Just me and her.
I'm so fuckin lonely.
I joined a live journal community today, the official lesbian one. Just for fun and to do more junk online but I think that might have been a mistake.
Almost everyone that posted has a girlfriend, making me feel like a complete failure in the love department. At least I was able to post a pic of me and Kitty kissing to add to their little "picture day" posts but wow do I feel low.
To make matters worse, our little sexcapades have left me wanting more almost all the time. I'm so eager to keep trying it and I miss kissing her every week. I hate that I want it. I hate that I appear to be the sex crazed one when ever since I met her she's been the most sex-crazed person I've ever seen.
Since it's all I think about lately, I feel like I might just be using her for sex, and the entire idea makes my head hurt. Yeah, sure I guess that's what I'm doing...but is that okay? I can't help but feel bad if that is the case, that I just want her for sex. That's not why she wants me. Ha no. I don't know what she wants me for.
It's been so hard to get her to come over and I have to push and push to make plans happen because she gets so darn distracted and never gets back to me. Okay, so she's not Miss Reliable... still it makes me feel like I'm being needy. I just want her to myself for a day. Not at a party and NOT around Tree. Just me and her.
I'm so fuckin lonely.