(no subject)
My internet access is still intermittent, and oddly, I'm okay with it. I've been keeping up with your journals for the most part, friends, but my comments are sparse. I'm here. What's up. Tell me.
Remember this entry? It was my plea for Lou Barlow. It happened when Sebadoh played in Orlando last week, but I could not attend because I'm not working enough hours and I'm having trouble covering my own bills right now.
I'm starting a weekend shift at a hospital in Tamarac soon. Tamarac is kind of far. I'm also picking up classes this week at a language school in Davie (less far). I'm still working (very little hours) at a language school in Aventura (even less far), so maybe after all this I'll come up with a 40-hour work week and enough income to afford things like internet access and shows in Orlando.
It's been a rough time. The money's tight, but that's no more an issue now than before. Taking an I in my ESOL Curriculum class (and yes, that means I'll have to take it again) and bouts of nervousness before every single class I teach make me wonder if I've made the wrong decision entirely. It's the same conflict I've gone through dozens of times in my life. You know, "Hey, I want to be in charge and do everything my way and make people listen to me -- maybe because I'm a Leo or maybe because I'm an only child or something, but oh no why is everyone looking at me? Oh god I'm about to mess everything up because if I'm not perfect then I'm a failure and no one will respect me!" That conflict. When I put it like that, it seems so silly. Making mistakes is part of learning, right? Let's just make sure that I'm really the sort of person who's even supposed to be an instructor. Every moment of silence and every time I'm not quite sure I'm explaining something clearly make me worry that I'm just no good at this and should just get a gd medical records degree and be done with it. I know I'm getting better as I go along, but these are the apprehensions I'm fighting.
You know who's going to be at Sasquatch? Michael Showalter. And me. At least my plane tickets have already been paid for.
Remember this entry? It was my plea for Lou Barlow. It happened when Sebadoh played in Orlando last week, but I could not attend because I'm not working enough hours and I'm having trouble covering my own bills right now.
I'm starting a weekend shift at a hospital in Tamarac soon. Tamarac is kind of far. I'm also picking up classes this week at a language school in Davie (less far). I'm still working (very little hours) at a language school in Aventura (even less far), so maybe after all this I'll come up with a 40-hour work week and enough income to afford things like internet access and shows in Orlando.
It's been a rough time. The money's tight, but that's no more an issue now than before. Taking an I in my ESOL Curriculum class (and yes, that means I'll have to take it again) and bouts of nervousness before every single class I teach make me wonder if I've made the wrong decision entirely. It's the same conflict I've gone through dozens of times in my life. You know, "Hey, I want to be in charge and do everything my way and make people listen to me -- maybe because I'm a Leo or maybe because I'm an only child or something, but oh no why is everyone looking at me? Oh god I'm about to mess everything up because if I'm not perfect then I'm a failure and no one will respect me!" That conflict. When I put it like that, it seems so silly. Making mistakes is part of learning, right? Let's just make sure that I'm really the sort of person who's even supposed to be an instructor. Every moment of silence and every time I'm not quite sure I'm explaining something clearly make me worry that I'm just no good at this and should just get a gd medical records degree and be done with it. I know I'm getting better as I go along, but these are the apprehensions I'm fighting.
You know who's going to be at Sasquatch? Michael Showalter. And me. At least my plane tickets have already been paid for.