Forbidden Beauty
I have been musing about whether or not its a problem that I am someone who enjoys beauty. I guess what I mean is- should I be worried that I seem drawn to particularly beautiful young men? I guess that my concern is that instead of realizing that I am not likely to wind up with such a person, I will spend my life chasing after what is unattainable. Maybe my attraction to beautiful young men is an excuse to avoid being serious about finding a relationship and creating a stable life for myself. If I create this Adonis complex for myself, I avoid having to actually work at a new relationship. Maybe this whole getting dumped thing has thrown me way off and back into unhealthy ways of thinking. I thought I'd escaped this infantile obsession with beauty but maybe not.