• 10:09 I can't take prison tattoos and a skull cap seriously when the dude's chowing down on a sprinkled donut. #

• 12:15 I hate everyone today. #

• 08:53 Husband just started a fight with me because, and I quote, "I was bored," and, "It's a Tuesday." #

• 12:38 Is it mean to tell someone they look like an Easter egg? #

Today I was going through my lunch bag and I came upon this horrific mass of nastiness in a ziploc bag... It took me a few minutes of staring at it to figure out what it was. In fact, I put my lunch bag back in the fridge three separate times thinking that it could not possibly belong to me ( Read more... )

• 22:02 Four weeks vacation?! Whaaaaat!! #

• 09:04 Court. Eviction. Awesome.
  
  Next time I will bring a cane. I mean, who would question it? Nobody. #

• 15:25 My baby makes women in their late 20s & early 30s drool. You can see their biological clocks ticking out of control. Fascinating to watch. #

• 19:33 Human babies have parasitic qualities. Yup. #

• 18:17 My baby won't stop cuddling with me and I only left for three hours. How will I return to work this week? :( #