cracks...chips...imperfections
Okay so here comes my mom finally home at 12:45 a.m. Oooo...home early tonight. I thought that considering it was Chuck's birthday she would come stumbling in at her usual time around 2:00-3:00. Odd.
Somethings clearly wrong with her daughter, theres really no hiding that. See, I've always been good at hiding how I'm feeling, but there's always this certain point where I begin to answer in one word sentences and she can tell that somethings wrong. But as much as my head is exploding and all I want to do is talk to someone, I can't really bring myself to talk to her. What right does she have coming home from her train-wreak-about-to-happen boyfriend's house and asking me whats wrong? As I begin to silently contemplate telling her, she interrupts and instead makes me feel the new tee shirt that Chuck bought for her. "Hmm...it's soft isn't it!" The latest addition to her Harley Davidson collection. What ever happened to the mom who would barely allow ME to stand next to a motorcycle, let alone even sit on one herself? My mom is like a pathetic mass of clay, she forms to whatever people want her to. Whatever makes her look like a great, modern, wholesome kind of mother. Whatever makes her family look like the mother fucking Brady Bunch.
My brother just tapped me on the shoulder and told me that he loves me. God I worry about that kid.
Ha..now my mom tells me that she loves me. (I managed to choke out a pathetic "Love you too.")
Ahhh...greaaat, here comes my dad now. It's a family fucking reunion downstairs now. Oops..yeah I forgot, it's almost 1:00 in the morning. He has to get up and eat something! It's a matter of life and death. Which will proabably end in death by heart attack from the ammount of food he consumes.
I don't know whats wrong with me. I have a lot on my mind right now. I wish I could write and get everything out in my lj....but annonymous posters would have an annonymous posting field day with that.
.........we'll see what happens right.
Until then I plan on hiding away at my house until I've watched every single DVD that I own.
First movie on my list:
````````````````````````
"Alfie"
Best Quote from Alfie:
```````````````````````
" When I was a boy, my school took us on this cultural field trip to observe art at one of those big, famous London museums. And when I was there...I came across this statue of a Greek goddess in marble....Aprodite...ditty...something like that.
Beautiful she was! Perfect female form...Chisled features. Exquisite! I stood in awe of her. Finally the teacher called us all over and I'm walking past it. And on the way, I notice in the side of this Greek goddess, all these cracks...chips. Imperfections. It ruined her for me.
Well...thats Nikki. A beautiful sculpture; damaged. In a way you don't notice until you get too close. "
Somethings clearly wrong with her daughter, theres really no hiding that. See, I've always been good at hiding how I'm feeling, but there's always this certain point where I begin to answer in one word sentences and she can tell that somethings wrong. But as much as my head is exploding and all I want to do is talk to someone, I can't really bring myself to talk to her. What right does she have coming home from her train-wreak-about-to-happen boyfriend's house and asking me whats wrong? As I begin to silently contemplate telling her, she interrupts and instead makes me feel the new tee shirt that Chuck bought for her. "Hmm...it's soft isn't it!" The latest addition to her Harley Davidson collection. What ever happened to the mom who would barely allow ME to stand next to a motorcycle, let alone even sit on one herself? My mom is like a pathetic mass of clay, she forms to whatever people want her to. Whatever makes her look like a great, modern, wholesome kind of mother. Whatever makes her family look like the mother fucking Brady Bunch.
My brother just tapped me on the shoulder and told me that he loves me. God I worry about that kid.
Ha..now my mom tells me that she loves me. (I managed to choke out a pathetic "Love you too.")
Ahhh...greaaat, here comes my dad now. It's a family fucking reunion downstairs now. Oops..yeah I forgot, it's almost 1:00 in the morning. He has to get up and eat something! It's a matter of life and death. Which will proabably end in death by heart attack from the ammount of food he consumes.
I don't know whats wrong with me. I have a lot on my mind right now. I wish I could write and get everything out in my lj....but annonymous posters would have an annonymous posting field day with that.
.........we'll see what happens right.
Until then I plan on hiding away at my house until I've watched every single DVD that I own.
First movie on my list:
````````````````````````
"Alfie"
Best Quote from Alfie:
```````````````````````
" When I was a boy, my school took us on this cultural field trip to observe art at one of those big, famous London museums. And when I was there...I came across this statue of a Greek goddess in marble....Aprodite...ditty...something like that.
Beautiful she was! Perfect female form...Chisled features. Exquisite! I stood in awe of her. Finally the teacher called us all over and I'm walking past it. And on the way, I notice in the side of this Greek goddess, all these cracks...chips. Imperfections. It ruined her for me.
Well...thats Nikki. A beautiful sculpture; damaged. In a way you don't notice until you get too close. "