because anything is more fun than studying...including daydreaming
this is me trying to articulate why i get attracted to certain people.
i want to pick through your hair and find any little parasites that might be bothering you and pick them out and maybe instead of eating them just throw them away or burn them. i want to slice your teeth open and count the rings to find out how old you are. i want to measure your intraocular distance and then compare it to mine and on that basis determine whether or not we are compatible. I want our hipbones to clack together like a couple of stones in a nervous man's hand. i want to put myself in a double-blind study with your dirty tshirts and 1000 others and see if i could smell you out. i want to have your children and be your children. i think we'd probably fight and get on eachother's nerves but maybe that would be ok as long as we could get it out of our systems. i want to get all up in your shit and simultaneously never see you again. I want to get so fucked up that i don't remember anything or care that i don't remember everything. i want to know that i've got the skills I think i might. i need the stress release that comes from the absorption of certain little tiny molecules into certain little tiny brain places. i want to NOT think about the future at ALL (except in the important ways of course) and stop trying to twist my life around my little finger, and start letting it do some wandering of its own.
this is my trying to explain why I slapped my legs so hard last night they were red.
i want to hit and fight and punch everything and get embarrassed by how out there I really feel and maybe make a complete ass of myself and NOT be the shy motherfucker that I have fallen into being for the last 2.5 years. I want to not be so shy that I could openly flirt with someone in a mildly interested way and not get like a giggly 12 year old and shit. i want to be the person that I think i really am inside of my head, and not the person everyone else thinks i am. maybe they're the same, i have literally no idea. i don't want to be too scared to get a tattoo, or worried it won't match the one i have. i want to get piercings in my ears but maybe not because last time it didn't work very well. i want to get fucking buff as shit, or maybe just a little stronger with more sticking out veins. I've always wanted to be a waif without knowing why but i think it's an aesthetic thing and something I am growing out of. but i feel so held back by everything around me, and feel like although this is who I am it is having difficulty escaping out of the grooves that i have worn into myself.
this is something i was thinking about about while doing laundry
i love doing laundry at the laundromat. you get such a hearty slice of who people really are. think: they're single, usually, doing laundry in the evening because let's face it noone does laundry until they absolutely have to and don't have anything better to do.. when they run out of their most limiting article of clothing (mine is sweet tshirts). they're in the laundromat. what did they bring to entertain themselves?
a book: literate!
the spanish channel: maybe mexican
children: they are fun to play with sure, but really... it makes me depressed to see kids in laundry mats.
nothing: what a fucking weirdo, what did they think was going to happen at the laundry mat? that they would be miraculously entertained?
you get to see what clothes they have, it's a strangely contradictory simultaneously revealing but impersonal and erotic journey. you get to see their underwear, their sheets, try and figure out whether or not they are a neat or careless person by the way that they fold their clothes. What kind of laundry baskets they use point a finger toward: ex-military by the way they button their polo and tuck it into their belted jeans with the sneakers dangling down below. a mom who has put laundry on the list today because she's run out of clean socks for her kids. a guy just trying to keep his head down and work hard enough so he can send his family back home enough money for the next month.
my dog is rubbing his ass on the floor, i think he's trying to tell me something.
i want to pick through your hair and find any little parasites that might be bothering you and pick them out and maybe instead of eating them just throw them away or burn them. i want to slice your teeth open and count the rings to find out how old you are. i want to measure your intraocular distance and then compare it to mine and on that basis determine whether or not we are compatible. I want our hipbones to clack together like a couple of stones in a nervous man's hand. i want to put myself in a double-blind study with your dirty tshirts and 1000 others and see if i could smell you out. i want to have your children and be your children. i think we'd probably fight and get on eachother's nerves but maybe that would be ok as long as we could get it out of our systems. i want to get all up in your shit and simultaneously never see you again. I want to get so fucked up that i don't remember anything or care that i don't remember everything. i want to know that i've got the skills I think i might. i need the stress release that comes from the absorption of certain little tiny molecules into certain little tiny brain places. i want to NOT think about the future at ALL (except in the important ways of course) and stop trying to twist my life around my little finger, and start letting it do some wandering of its own.
this is my trying to explain why I slapped my legs so hard last night they were red.
i want to hit and fight and punch everything and get embarrassed by how out there I really feel and maybe make a complete ass of myself and NOT be the shy motherfucker that I have fallen into being for the last 2.5 years. I want to not be so shy that I could openly flirt with someone in a mildly interested way and not get like a giggly 12 year old and shit. i want to be the person that I think i really am inside of my head, and not the person everyone else thinks i am. maybe they're the same, i have literally no idea. i don't want to be too scared to get a tattoo, or worried it won't match the one i have. i want to get piercings in my ears but maybe not because last time it didn't work very well. i want to get fucking buff as shit, or maybe just a little stronger with more sticking out veins. I've always wanted to be a waif without knowing why but i think it's an aesthetic thing and something I am growing out of. but i feel so held back by everything around me, and feel like although this is who I am it is having difficulty escaping out of the grooves that i have worn into myself.
this is something i was thinking about about while doing laundry
i love doing laundry at the laundromat. you get such a hearty slice of who people really are. think: they're single, usually, doing laundry in the evening because let's face it noone does laundry until they absolutely have to and don't have anything better to do.. when they run out of their most limiting article of clothing (mine is sweet tshirts). they're in the laundromat. what did they bring to entertain themselves?
a book: literate!
the spanish channel: maybe mexican
children: they are fun to play with sure, but really... it makes me depressed to see kids in laundry mats.
nothing: what a fucking weirdo, what did they think was going to happen at the laundry mat? that they would be miraculously entertained?
you get to see what clothes they have, it's a strangely contradictory simultaneously revealing but impersonal and erotic journey. you get to see their underwear, their sheets, try and figure out whether or not they are a neat or careless person by the way that they fold their clothes. What kind of laundry baskets they use point a finger toward: ex-military by the way they button their polo and tuck it into their belted jeans with the sneakers dangling down below. a mom who has put laundry on the list today because she's run out of clean socks for her kids. a guy just trying to keep his head down and work hard enough so he can send his family back home enough money for the next month.
my dog is rubbing his ass on the floor, i think he's trying to tell me something.