In Memorium: Marlene Deen
It feels not so long ago I wrote something similar to this, for my mom's boxer Alex, who passed away late last year. In reality, it's been nearly a year since then (Sept 11, 2012) and here I am, writing another, for a person who has been part of my life for as far back as I can remember. A lot of my memories of Gram are from when I was a small child which I recall most fondly. Our family's move from Illinois to Texas many years ago put considerable distance between us and my grandparents became family I used to see 2-3 weekends a month to 2-3 weekends per year.
I'm far from perfect and I know she disapproved of some of the choices I've made in my adult years, the attitude I've maintained towards certain subjects and so on, but she, never held any of that against me. I know she loved me, my brother, and everyone in my family unconditionally. Now I find myself writing one of these far too soon after the last and I'm having a hard time coming up with the words to convey what I wish to say.
Memories of Gram are by and large memories of my grandparents as a whole, as there was never one without the other. Gram and Grandpa were inseparable and I'm sure all the memories and stories of Gram I share will include them both as I've never known them any other way.
When I saw them most, as I said, was when I was a small child and our entire family lived in Illinois. They lived maybe 10 minutes away from us for as long as I can remember, and so I got to see them all the time. I would lay on the floor in front of the TV while we watched game shows and soaps. Our favorite character was Steve on Days of Our Lives. He wore an eye patch. Around this time Gram ran a catering business from their home and I would explore their massive kitchen and storage area. I thought the entirety of their home, also the home where my mom grew up, was just the coolest place. I always looked forward to going there.
Our family took turns hosting major holidays, such as Christmas, but I remember the Christmases hosted by Gram and Grandpa most vividly of them all. It was not just a family get-together, but and event. She did a great job bringing all of our extended family together. My Gram spoiled me rotten when I was little. She always knew what goofy toys I most desired. One such example of this was at one Christmas where she and Grandpa got me the largest present under the tree. When I opened it, it was a box full of about 30 Ninja Turtles action figures. I'm pretty sure it was every figure they had made up until that point and I'll never forget that. It's a small, silly memory, but it's one that will stick with me the rest of my life.
I remember walking the streets of St. Louis when the Mississippi River flooded in the early 90's. As we walked around Gram spotted a news crew interviewing a woman about the floods and we stopped because Gram was hoping for an interview.
Around my teenage years when I grew my hair out, wore black and listened to heavy metal, we bonded over the musical stylings of Elvis Presley. We would sit at the table and talk while we listened to one of his albums and before we realized it, it would've looped 3-4 times.
I am perhaps happiest that she was able to witness my marriage to my wonderful wife in 2005. It was the greatest day of my life and it makes me so happy to have been able to share that with Gram and Grandpa. One of my favorite pictures of them was while they danced at the reception. They were as happy in that photo as they had ever been. She was so proud of me for finding such a wonderful person, just as she had found Grandpa.
She was worried about us seeing her in her final hours, which I understand, but she was so happy to see my brother and I when we showed up. My aunt vocalized how Gram didn't want her boys to remember her in such a state but she needn't worry. All I saw was Gram, the same Gram I've known and loved all my life. Even know when I think of her I remember her as I did when I was a child and when I was married. Regardless of the way she had to leave us I'll remember her in the way I have always known her. As the fun, goofy Gram who cherished her family and loved us all unconditionally, even when we drove her kind of nuts.
I love you Gram. Always will.
I'm far from perfect and I know she disapproved of some of the choices I've made in my adult years, the attitude I've maintained towards certain subjects and so on, but she, never held any of that against me. I know she loved me, my brother, and everyone in my family unconditionally. Now I find myself writing one of these far too soon after the last and I'm having a hard time coming up with the words to convey what I wish to say.
Memories of Gram are by and large memories of my grandparents as a whole, as there was never one without the other. Gram and Grandpa were inseparable and I'm sure all the memories and stories of Gram I share will include them both as I've never known them any other way.
When I saw them most, as I said, was when I was a small child and our entire family lived in Illinois. They lived maybe 10 minutes away from us for as long as I can remember, and so I got to see them all the time. I would lay on the floor in front of the TV while we watched game shows and soaps. Our favorite character was Steve on Days of Our Lives. He wore an eye patch. Around this time Gram ran a catering business from their home and I would explore their massive kitchen and storage area. I thought the entirety of their home, also the home where my mom grew up, was just the coolest place. I always looked forward to going there.
Our family took turns hosting major holidays, such as Christmas, but I remember the Christmases hosted by Gram and Grandpa most vividly of them all. It was not just a family get-together, but and event. She did a great job bringing all of our extended family together. My Gram spoiled me rotten when I was little. She always knew what goofy toys I most desired. One such example of this was at one Christmas where she and Grandpa got me the largest present under the tree. When I opened it, it was a box full of about 30 Ninja Turtles action figures. I'm pretty sure it was every figure they had made up until that point and I'll never forget that. It's a small, silly memory, but it's one that will stick with me the rest of my life.
I remember walking the streets of St. Louis when the Mississippi River flooded in the early 90's. As we walked around Gram spotted a news crew interviewing a woman about the floods and we stopped because Gram was hoping for an interview.
Around my teenage years when I grew my hair out, wore black and listened to heavy metal, we bonded over the musical stylings of Elvis Presley. We would sit at the table and talk while we listened to one of his albums and before we realized it, it would've looped 3-4 times.
I am perhaps happiest that she was able to witness my marriage to my wonderful wife in 2005. It was the greatest day of my life and it makes me so happy to have been able to share that with Gram and Grandpa. One of my favorite pictures of them was while they danced at the reception. They were as happy in that photo as they had ever been. She was so proud of me for finding such a wonderful person, just as she had found Grandpa.
She was worried about us seeing her in her final hours, which I understand, but she was so happy to see my brother and I when we showed up. My aunt vocalized how Gram didn't want her boys to remember her in such a state but she needn't worry. All I saw was Gram, the same Gram I've known and loved all my life. Even know when I think of her I remember her as I did when I was a child and when I was married. Regardless of the way she had to leave us I'll remember her in the way I have always known her. As the fun, goofy Gram who cherished her family and loved us all unconditionally, even when we drove her kind of nuts.
I love you Gram. Always will.