Big Rant Session
I have been going through a bit of depressed phase. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but that doesn't make it seem any more purposeful or anything.
My main gripe is that Andrew and I never get any alone time. Here there is the expected distractions with Katrina, and my mum and dad are usually around. Also Andrew's mobile is like a god damn hotline (its always been like that, but its just frustrating now that we dont spend much time together 1 on 1) Its no better at Andrew's place either, as its soooo small, that one of his family members is always around somewhere. I can't help but wish sometimes that we were in our own home now, even though i know the support i get here with my parents is fantastic.
Ive had a few bad moments with katrina here and there too, so that has added to it all.
Yesterday was one of those days, where if I were to even try to plan to go to the toilet something would go wrong. Which didnt help my already overly hormonal, cry at the drop of a pin type mood.
I guess something was bound to trigger off some emotions that I have been hiding inside. I think some of the frustration, and helplessness has come from the short time I had to prepare for a baby. It's not that i dont love katrina, or enjoy all the moments Im spending with her, but sometimes I just want some ME time. I guess being an only child also hasn't helped, as I have been so used to things being about me, and having lots of me time. It probably doesn't help that Andrew goes out with his friends lots too, while I'm at home feeling quite jealous that he can still carry on in the same way as before katrina.
Now that i have gotten that out, I feel a little better. Most of the times these things don't really bother me, but lately it has been really getting me down. Esp the lack to time I spend with Andrew. I just don't feel like our relationship can grow if we don't spend meaningful time together. Try telling him that though, he would think I'm over-reacting etc.
At least my playlist on i-tunes is cheering me up a little. I have to love music for that... it has such a way to pick me up, if i sing a little and dance along.
My main gripe is that Andrew and I never get any alone time. Here there is the expected distractions with Katrina, and my mum and dad are usually around. Also Andrew's mobile is like a god damn hotline (its always been like that, but its just frustrating now that we dont spend much time together 1 on 1) Its no better at Andrew's place either, as its soooo small, that one of his family members is always around somewhere. I can't help but wish sometimes that we were in our own home now, even though i know the support i get here with my parents is fantastic.
Ive had a few bad moments with katrina here and there too, so that has added to it all.
Yesterday was one of those days, where if I were to even try to plan to go to the toilet something would go wrong. Which didnt help my already overly hormonal, cry at the drop of a pin type mood.
I guess something was bound to trigger off some emotions that I have been hiding inside. I think some of the frustration, and helplessness has come from the short time I had to prepare for a baby. It's not that i dont love katrina, or enjoy all the moments Im spending with her, but sometimes I just want some ME time. I guess being an only child also hasn't helped, as I have been so used to things being about me, and having lots of me time. It probably doesn't help that Andrew goes out with his friends lots too, while I'm at home feeling quite jealous that he can still carry on in the same way as before katrina.
Now that i have gotten that out, I feel a little better. Most of the times these things don't really bother me, but lately it has been really getting me down. Esp the lack to time I spend with Andrew. I just don't feel like our relationship can grow if we don't spend meaningful time together. Try telling him that though, he would think I'm over-reacting etc.
At least my playlist on i-tunes is cheering me up a little. I have to love music for that... it has such a way to pick me up, if i sing a little and dance along.