(no subject)
I hate posting emotional entries on my livejournal. I've always used this is as a place to remind myself more than others about the activities I've done during the week and the fun I've had. I try to write only about the most positive things and not to elaborate on any of the negative parts of my life because I feel like that is far too personal and depressing to put on the internet. When I look bad and read old entries (I think this journal has been around for about 3 years now hence my non-creative screen name), I want to read about happy things and I don't like to remember the bad.
But, right now, the bad is overwhelming. My world has crashed around me. I miss him so incredibly much and I keep trying to create distractions to feel better, and I guess it is slowly working, but even in a group of people, I feel alone.
I am very thankful for all the support that I know I have, for random facebook messages, hugs, and calls. I am thankful for being checked up on, and I can only hope it continues. I've been given so much advice, long talks, and cried to many people.
Some of this advice was: There is nothing more to be gained from this than to learn to care about and take care of yourself. Be aware of how many people in the world love you, speak about your feelings, and right now, tell someone in your life how much they mean to you.
Literally, everything reminds me of him. Every song I hear ends up relating to him, every show I watch, everyone I see, and every place I go. I guess this is a good thing because I miss him so much, but in a way, he is all around me.
Don't tell me that it will get better because it will not. It will not get better, but it will change. I've done this before, and I'll do it many more times, and each time, things do not ever go back to normal. There will be a new normal eventually.
Do You Realize/that you have the most beautiful face/Do You Realize/we're floating in space/Do You Realize/that happiness makes you cry/Do You Realize/that everyone you know someday will die/And instead of saying all of your goodbyes/let them know
You realize that life goes fast/It's hard to make the good things last/You realize the sun doesn't go down/It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
But, right now, the bad is overwhelming. My world has crashed around me. I miss him so incredibly much and I keep trying to create distractions to feel better, and I guess it is slowly working, but even in a group of people, I feel alone.
I am very thankful for all the support that I know I have, for random facebook messages, hugs, and calls. I am thankful for being checked up on, and I can only hope it continues. I've been given so much advice, long talks, and cried to many people.
Some of this advice was: There is nothing more to be gained from this than to learn to care about and take care of yourself. Be aware of how many people in the world love you, speak about your feelings, and right now, tell someone in your life how much they mean to you.
Literally, everything reminds me of him. Every song I hear ends up relating to him, every show I watch, everyone I see, and every place I go. I guess this is a good thing because I miss him so much, but in a way, he is all around me.
Don't tell me that it will get better because it will not. It will not get better, but it will change. I've done this before, and I'll do it many more times, and each time, things do not ever go back to normal. There will be a new normal eventually.
Do You Realize/that you have the most beautiful face/Do You Realize/we're floating in space/Do You Realize/that happiness makes you cry/Do You Realize/that everyone you know someday will die/And instead of saying all of your goodbyes/let them know
You realize that life goes fast/It's hard to make the good things last/You realize the sun doesn't go down/It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round