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Jan 02, 2015 02:04

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ilhoon/naeun, 2,402w, pg-15 (trigger warning: implied sexual assault).
it was hard to know who she really was.
a/n: for a close friend who wanted to see this become canon. gotta admit, it's cute.
a/n: it's 2:03AM, and this is all word vomit. idek what genre this would fit under.





How they met makes them laugh every single time they think back to it. Naeun is the beautiful actress in the advertisement, and Ilhoon was just boy #3 in the back, dancing to some silly, girly music. Everybody seemed to be afraid to approach the actress, but he had heard that they were the same age, and he went for it. He walked up to her and asked her what her favorite ramen brand was, and when she answered Neoguri, he knew that they were going to be the best of friends.

Soon after, Naeun was without an agency because the one that she barely managed to get into ended up being a fraud, and the CEO ran away with all the money. Although she claimed that she was alright, and that she would easily just find another place to go, he knew that she’s already gone through three phony agencies.

Still, she never gave up.

Apparently even though she was kind of a star, Son Naeun didn’t have that many friends. She told him over a bowl of patbingsu that people in the industry were dirty and not trustworthy. Wanting to joke with her, he looked over at her with suspicious eyes and asked why he should think that she didn’t fit in with the above category.

Letting out a soft chuckle underneath her breath, she stared right into his eyes and shrugged.

“It’s up to you if you want to trust me or not. But hey, you’re here with me right now, aren’t you? If I was dirty or untrustworthy, I believe you wouldn’t have contacted me after that shoot.”

Feeling defeated, he muttered a quiet touche before digging into the frozen treat once more.

It’s the way she doesn’t cover her mouth when she laughs; the way she isn’t afraid to do the silliest impersonations in front of him ( “i’m practicing for my variety show debut!” ); the way she can dance like a fool at karaoke with him that shows Ilhoon that she was right: she really isn’t like all the others in the entertainment industry. She’s real.

He also learns a few more things about her: Naeun’s favorite color is black ( that’s all she has in her personal wardrobe apparently ), she likes to draw in her free time, she enjoys tragic movies ( “it’s fun to laugh at other people’s tragedies, don’t you think so?” ), and that she really likes to eat.

The last fact, however, he realizes himself when they have movie night at his house with some chicken and beer. Even before he could put in the movie, she’s already moved onto her second drumstick as well as halfway done with her can of beer. A part of him starts to worry about her actress image, but she tells him that as long as he doesn’t take any pictures and spread them online, she’s okay.
“How did you even think about becoming an actress with such an appetite? Don’t they make you go on crazy diets?”

Mid-way through a chicken wing, she nods ferociously, obviously angered about the whole fact. Although she starts talking, trying to rant about her thoughts, he tells her to save it until her mouth isn’t full. It wasn’t attractive, and he couldn’t understand a single word that she was trying to get out.

“It’s ridiculous! They give me like three cherry tomatoes in the morning and tell me it’s my breakfast. Then they give me chicken breast salad with no dressing, I repeat, with no dressing, and then say that it’s my lunch. Sometimes I don’t even get dinner. If I’m lucky they’ll give me like two sweet potatoes. Oh, and then they expect you to work your ass off in the gym. Ridiculous I tell you.”

Everything seemed so much more ridiculous because she was saying this with fried chicken crumbs around her mouth. Letting out an amused laugh, he took a napkin and wiped her mouth, making a disgusted face at her eating manners.

“Then why don’t you just not go down this road? I’ve seen your drawings. You could very well be an artist.”

This was the story that got to her that night. He watched as Naeun slowly put down the fourth drumstick she was working on and drink whatever was left of her beer. Slamming the can against the table, she stared right into his eyes ( he could tell she was getting a little drunk ) and slurred some words out.

“Because this job makes me feel beautiful.”

Ever since they’ve met, Naeun had only been all laughs and smiles so it was even more surprising when he saw her breaking down that night. The movie was still playing in the background ( Tangled would have to be ignored for now ), but the only sound that really filled the room was her crying.

Now, Ilhoon has never dealt with crying girls other than his little sister, but the only time she cried was when her color pencil broke or something. Not sure what to do, he simply scooted closer to her and carefully put an arm around her, patting her back soothingly.

She wasn’t even saying anything. All she was doing was crying, letting the tears flow down her face. They stayed like that for a while, and when he stopped hearing her sobbing, he realized that she had fallen asleep.

Kind of silly, he thought, but he soon fetched a blanket and laid her across his couch.

It was hard to know who she really was.

One summer night when they were on the roof of Naeun’s house, gazing at the stars, he looked over at her. Something about her seemed different. He caught himself stealing a glimpse at her lips and observing her face carefully, and soon he could feel his own heart thumping rapidly.

Ilhoon absolutely detested those romance novels and movies ( yeah, he’s talking to you, John Green ), and he knew that nothing of the sort really happened in real life. The whole best friends turning into lovers was ridiculous and in what universe would a man give up his own wish on some girl he only met a few months ago. It was all because of these unrealistic drawn up fantasies that girls hoped for too much in a guy.

However, that moment on her roof, he slowly found himself wanting to check out a John Green or Nicholas Sparks book from the library just to read the ending. What happened to these best friends turned lovers? Did they usually get together? Or did it end up in all tragedy where instead of becoming lovers, they ended up becoming blinding enemies?

He tried his best to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts, but they would jump back into his mind the moment he saw her again. Trying his best to stop himself, he bit down on his bottom lip, closing his eyes. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted with the soft whisper of his name from the female.

Opening up his eyes, they widened when he realized how close she had come to him. Instinctively, he scooted away from her, leaving her with a confused look, but she wasn’t one to think too deeply into his actions and so she went back to that smiling face of her’s.

“Guess what? I got into another agency. They said they saw the commercial - remember, the one you did so you could buy the new LoL game - and said that I would fit right in. Isn’t this so exciting?”

A smile soon made its way on his own face upon seeing how truly happy she looked. Forgetting about all the odd feelings that had him confused a few moments ago, he returned to Jung Ilhoon, Son Naeun’s best friend, and patted her on her head, telling her how he was proud that she didn’t give up.

It doesn’t come to a surprise when a few weeks later, she shows up at his house, eyeliner running down her face, and her once red lips a pale pink. Nothing seems to be helping when he realizes that it had been raining as well, and it looked like she walked all the way here in the rain as she was drenched.

No words have to be spoken because he already knows what’s going to be coming passed her delicate lips, and so he simply opens the doors a little wider, letting her in and rushing to the bathroom to get her a towel.

As he’s helping to dry her hair, she stops moving. Ilhoon always found it hard to read her, but she’s making it a lot harder on him now. The silence had been killing him for a while, but he knew that she had to deal with this on her own first before she could let it all out to him.

She stayed frozen like that for a few minutes before breaking down. This is now the second time she’s crying, and it’s only the second, but he thinks he knows what to do now. Getting down from the couch, he took a seat next to her and slowly but warmly wrapped his arms around her petite figure.
That’s all it took for actress Son Naeun to break from her facade. The plastic image she had built for herself to the world, and him surprisingly, was now shattered as she wrapped her arms around him and cried like she had never cried before. This reminds him of when they first met, and he believed she was real. Just a few weeks ago, he realized that she wasn’t as real as he thought she was with how delighted she looked to receive a call from an agency that nobody had heard of.

It was painful. No, it was more than painful. Something about the way she cried her heart out made his heart cry in pain. She always had that ability ( maybe that’s why he always said she’d be such a great actress ). Son Naeun always had the ability to make him feel even though god forbid he didn’t want to. Whether that was sadness, joy, or love.

When the pity and sadness is gone, he’s a bit angered. He recalls his best friend talking about how the CEO and managers seemed a little creepy, and they would make her wear the shortest, most revealing clothes possible. The first time he heard this, he told her that maybe he should tag along the next time, but she said it was unnecessary. She said that this had happened before, and that it was the only way to succeed in the entertainment industry these days. Because he wasn’t very well known, he didn’t say anything else.

Thinking back to that, he regrets not pushing his thoughts more forward. He regrets not being more forceful on how foolish she was to be taking up offers from these sketchy places. And furthermore, he regrets not telling her how he really felt because then maybe, just maybe, he could have protected her from what happened that day.

Moments passed before he realized that she had stopped crying, and that she was silent but still in his arms. He wished time would just stop then and there, and he could hold her in his arms forever so she couldn’t be hurt anymore. So that nobody could harm her.

His wish never came true because she unwrapped herself from his embrace and wiped at her face. A forced laugh passed her lips before she looked straight up at him.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

That’s how they ended up sitting in a park bench, a blanket wrapping both figures. Her head was leaning against the back of the bench, and he was staring straight into her eyes. The look in her eyes were darker than the night sky, and Ilhoon couldn’t remember the last time he’s actually seen them glisten like they were made to.

“Ilhoon-ah.”

Why did his name sound so foreign to him? He turned his head to face the girl, raising an eyebrow in acknowledgement of her.

“Remember the second time we met and how I told you I loved the color black?” He nodded. Yes, he did remember the fact. Actually, he remembered a lot of things about her that she probably didn’t even remember herself like how she always left a strand of hair out when she tied her hair or how it was rare for him to see her with matching socks on or how cute she was when she talked in her sleep - but that wasn’t the point she was getting to.

“Well, I think I can finally tell you why. People say that black is a mixture of all the colors, and that had me thinking. How does such a bright color like yellow mixed with say pink, how do those happy colors become what we know as black? Have you ever thought about that? I have these past few days. It’s like all these happy colors just fade to black when put together. You might think I’m blabbering nonsense here but just think about it. Maybe it’s a sign that nobody can really have more than one happy thing in their life. Like my happy thing was becoming an actress, and then I met you and, no offense, but becoming an actress became a harder job for me. Have you realized that?”

She really didn’t give him a chance to answer any of these questions.

“And because you were my happy thing in life, it’s like I’m not allowed to have another. It’s absurd. Maybe humans were built to just have one good thing in their life, but that one good thing was the best thing to happen to them.”

He hadn’t even realized it, but he was staring right at her, and she soon turned her head to stare straight at him as well. Her eyes weren’t twinkling, and they definitely were not glistening ( except for maybe the tears swelled up in them ), but they definitely did give off more color than what were in them before.

“Maybe that’s why I find comfort in the night sky or maybe that’s just why I find comfort in you. Jung Ilhoon. I’m just glad you were the best thing to happen in my life.”

f: btob, pairing: ilhoon/naeun, rating: pg-15, f: apink

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