176 - Scars
To be honest, most of my scars are on the inside, and not so much on the outside. Sure I've had a couple of close calls, and some serious injuries before. You almost have to when you work for Torchwood, but being a doctor, I know how to make sure scars don't appear in the first place.
I won't say that I've had a worse childhood then anyone else, or that I've had more pain in my life then anyone else. But I've had my fair share of scars. And like most people, I know where each one came from.
There was one when my mother died, way before she was supposed to. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, and though we didn't end things on bad terms, I'll always feel like I was supposed to be there to make sure that she didn't die. Doctors are supposed to save lives. And I couldn't save her.
Owen left a scar on my heart, small ones probably at first. I knew that he didn't love me, and I accept that. I deal with it, but I'm supposed to be his friend. And when my life's in danger, all he can be thankful of is that it wasn't Gwen.
That was a scar.
Of course, thinking about that, brings up Mary. Of course she left a scar, that's obvious. But wearing that necklace left scars too. People's pain is never as bad as it is on the inside. Hearing it, hearing all that pain left a lot of tiny little scars.
Maybe my scars aren't big enough to show people and tell people where I got it, and have some amazing story to go with it. But there's lots of little holes. Little tiny scars.
I just hope that they're small enough so that no one sees.
I won't say that I've had a worse childhood then anyone else, or that I've had more pain in my life then anyone else. But I've had my fair share of scars. And like most people, I know where each one came from.
There was one when my mother died, way before she was supposed to. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, and though we didn't end things on bad terms, I'll always feel like I was supposed to be there to make sure that she didn't die. Doctors are supposed to save lives. And I couldn't save her.
Owen left a scar on my heart, small ones probably at first. I knew that he didn't love me, and I accept that. I deal with it, but I'm supposed to be his friend. And when my life's in danger, all he can be thankful of is that it wasn't Gwen.
That was a scar.
Of course, thinking about that, brings up Mary. Of course she left a scar, that's obvious. But wearing that necklace left scars too. People's pain is never as bad as it is on the inside. Hearing it, hearing all that pain left a lot of tiny little scars.
Maybe my scars aren't big enough to show people and tell people where I got it, and have some amazing story to go with it. But there's lots of little holes. Little tiny scars.
I just hope that they're small enough so that no one sees.