Friends
This one's a real post ... my first actual non-lemming post since I got a free LJ account via my brother. I think it's an important one. I hope the people who read it feel similarly enough to direct others to read it. Especially those who may be going through a bit of tension or stress with their friends.
Friendship, to me, is not something taken lightly. I know there are a great number of people who would agree with me. One true, loyal, friend means more than a clique or group of ten.
Personally ... good friendships are hard for me to form. At a glance, I appear to be so many things: "too" tall, skinny as a rail, lanky, nerdy, uncoordinated ... the list goes on. But I know that, if someone I am meeting for the first time can get a glimpse of the intangibles (character, resolve, pride), that maybe they'll open up and reveal a bit of who they are.
I consider a majority of the people I talk to 'accquaintances,' and only a select few my 'friends.' I do not believe I am alone in this approach.
Everybody goes through periods of time when those friendships come into question, or doubt. Everyone hits streches when the stress level just keeps going up, even when it feels like any more will burst the balloon.
It's just so easy, in this life, to look at the world around us and see only negatives and bad things, and to focus entirely on those things which make us think "What if...?" or "Why me?" But there is so much More out there.
Everything in life is a spectrum of color; there is no "Black and White." And everyONE is a spectrum: residing in different levels at different times. As accquaintances, we observe that level and treat the person as though that is where they make their 'home' on a regular basis. But for true friends, we ought to recognize that the mood or attitude is only but one color on the wheel ... and one which, if left unchecked and uncared for, can spin pretty fast. There has to come a point when we look beyond all the negative things that are Wrong, and try to find the positives that are Right ... even if they're hard to find.
I don't mean to preach, even though I'm certain it sounds like it. I don't want to overstep my bounds, and intrude in business that's not my own, even though I suspect that was the catalyst behind this post. I'm sorry if I'm boring people to this point, or if my writing is in bad taste.
I just don't want to sit back and idley read that friends of mine are stressed and upset, and releasing their angst on other friends of mine. To the people who I hope will be reading this, please understand that although I haven't met you all for very long, or spent a great deal of time with you, I feel strongly enough to consider you All my friends. And if you feel you have to vent, or you feel you have to "let someone have it," then I say do what you feel you have to do ...
... but please try to keep in mind that we're all friends when the dust settles. Please try to consider that everybody moves through the spectrum, and sometimes they don't even fully realize what color they're sitting in. Being a friend doesn't mean spilling every last secret, and being a friend doesn't mean trying to protect other people, and being a friend doesn't involve sacrificing for others more than you can afford, and I could go on.
Simply put, being a friend means being yourself in the face of a world that wants nothing more than for you to be like everyone else. Look someone else in the eye and Know that you are being true to yourself for the sake of another.
"This above all, to thine own self be true."
That's just my opinion.
Apologies for the length.
-Andrew
Friendship, to me, is not something taken lightly. I know there are a great number of people who would agree with me. One true, loyal, friend means more than a clique or group of ten.
Personally ... good friendships are hard for me to form. At a glance, I appear to be so many things: "too" tall, skinny as a rail, lanky, nerdy, uncoordinated ... the list goes on. But I know that, if someone I am meeting for the first time can get a glimpse of the intangibles (character, resolve, pride), that maybe they'll open up and reveal a bit of who they are.
I consider a majority of the people I talk to 'accquaintances,' and only a select few my 'friends.' I do not believe I am alone in this approach.
Everybody goes through periods of time when those friendships come into question, or doubt. Everyone hits streches when the stress level just keeps going up, even when it feels like any more will burst the balloon.
It's just so easy, in this life, to look at the world around us and see only negatives and bad things, and to focus entirely on those things which make us think "What if...?" or "Why me?" But there is so much More out there.
Everything in life is a spectrum of color; there is no "Black and White." And everyONE is a spectrum: residing in different levels at different times. As accquaintances, we observe that level and treat the person as though that is where they make their 'home' on a regular basis. But for true friends, we ought to recognize that the mood or attitude is only but one color on the wheel ... and one which, if left unchecked and uncared for, can spin pretty fast. There has to come a point when we look beyond all the negative things that are Wrong, and try to find the positives that are Right ... even if they're hard to find.
I don't mean to preach, even though I'm certain it sounds like it. I don't want to overstep my bounds, and intrude in business that's not my own, even though I suspect that was the catalyst behind this post. I'm sorry if I'm boring people to this point, or if my writing is in bad taste.
I just don't want to sit back and idley read that friends of mine are stressed and upset, and releasing their angst on other friends of mine. To the people who I hope will be reading this, please understand that although I haven't met you all for very long, or spent a great deal of time with you, I feel strongly enough to consider you All my friends. And if you feel you have to vent, or you feel you have to "let someone have it," then I say do what you feel you have to do ...
... but please try to keep in mind that we're all friends when the dust settles. Please try to consider that everybody moves through the spectrum, and sometimes they don't even fully realize what color they're sitting in. Being a friend doesn't mean spilling every last secret, and being a friend doesn't mean trying to protect other people, and being a friend doesn't involve sacrificing for others more than you can afford, and I could go on.
Simply put, being a friend means being yourself in the face of a world that wants nothing more than for you to be like everyone else. Look someone else in the eye and Know that you are being true to yourself for the sake of another.
"This above all, to thine own self be true."
That's just my opinion.
Apologies for the length.
-Andrew