Parallels and Endings
Well, life has put me in a strange situation. Probably one I never really thought I'd have to face. There isn't much I can say regarding how unnerving it is to not have an idea of at least where the future is going, now more than ever. What can you do about it? Not much, to answer my own question. It's not easy being alone again.
"Where do I go?"
"Where do I even start?"
These are the kind of questions I find myself asking. I find myself in a feeling I know all too well yet haven't felt for some while. This time it's different. How? I can't directly figure out why. I feel lost in space, as overly dramatized as that sounds. It's kind of like you're walking a path to a destination you're certain you wanted to go to but then the path ends and you aren't really sure where you are headed anymore. Almost certain you won't end up where you originally were planning to go. It's a scary feeling, no doubt.
At the same time, I feel as though I've been let loose. I don't have any real direction anymore. So doesn't that mean I can pretty much go anywhere now? In a way, I suppose so but that doesn't make the trip any easier or walking on no path any more solid.
I walk alone and yet I don't. I'm not alone in this and for the rest of my life (as I know it) I'll have an outline of the path I was walking, yet I'll not be able to walk down it no matter what. I guess that's what scares me the most at this moment. The uncertainty. All I can try to do is pave a way for myself, but I'll definitely need some time before I really know where I'm going. Even beyond just the end of this three-year journey, this is a really unsure time for me since I could possibly moving to Los Angeles by summer and who knows what'll happen in a city that big. The possibilities are endless and I've got to start somewhere. Let's see where life takes me in a year.
"Where do I go?"
"Where do I even start?"
These are the kind of questions I find myself asking. I find myself in a feeling I know all too well yet haven't felt for some while. This time it's different. How? I can't directly figure out why. I feel lost in space, as overly dramatized as that sounds. It's kind of like you're walking a path to a destination you're certain you wanted to go to but then the path ends and you aren't really sure where you are headed anymore. Almost certain you won't end up where you originally were planning to go. It's a scary feeling, no doubt.
At the same time, I feel as though I've been let loose. I don't have any real direction anymore. So doesn't that mean I can pretty much go anywhere now? In a way, I suppose so but that doesn't make the trip any easier or walking on no path any more solid.
I walk alone and yet I don't. I'm not alone in this and for the rest of my life (as I know it) I'll have an outline of the path I was walking, yet I'll not be able to walk down it no matter what. I guess that's what scares me the most at this moment. The uncertainty. All I can try to do is pave a way for myself, but I'll definitely need some time before I really know where I'm going. Even beyond just the end of this three-year journey, this is a really unsure time for me since I could possibly moving to Los Angeles by summer and who knows what'll happen in a city that big. The possibilities are endless and I've got to start somewhere. Let's see where life takes me in a year.