New Home
I'm experiencing several large changes currently and I just wanted to unload my mind. Ever since I moved here, I've been returning home, to Champaign, every two or three weeks for one reason or another. This has made it difficult to actually get out and enjoy the city I've been living in for the past ten months. However, about two months ago, my car died. I don't have the money to fix or replace it so I've been stuck in the city for six weeks, waiting until someone could make the trip up to give me a ride home. This has incurred several changes for the good. First, I walk/CTA everywhere. I've already lost five pounds and I'm starting to actually know the city without a GPS device which is great. Also, being forced to stay in the city every weekend also forces me to get out and enjoy the city which I am glad to say I've been doing wholeheartedly. I go shopping downtown, I get up and attend Saturday morning free workouts in Millenium Park, try out new restaurants, not to mention attending free museum hours and countless numbers of summer festivals throughout the city. The fact that I've been able to get out and do these things on my own is somewhat miraculous. I've always relied on other people to make the plans, decide where to eat dinner/what we'll do and I've been terrified of being out on my own and making my own decisions.
I've finally started to get some creative projects off of the ground. I've managed to get my foot in the door at a small company here in the city and have done two play festivals and a staged reading with them. I've also been auditioning, participating in table reads, crewing and attending movie festivals with my dear friends at Broad Shoulders Productions. They've got some great things going for them and I'm happy to be even the smallest part of their team. In addition, my friend Aaron has a few film shoots and a photo shoot going on, one of them I will be posing for and I will be the makeup/hair/costume brains behind the others. It's nice to have someone trust my judgment and remind me of the things that I'm really good at.
I love my job, it's exactly the kind of department I was looking for and the kind of work I was hoping to do. The benefits are also amazing including an 85% tuition waiver which I will soon be taking advantage of in either our fall or winter quarter, depending on when I decide to start taking classes. I finally know exactly what degrees I want. I'll be pursuing a Bachelor's of Communication in Radio, TV and Film with our school of continuing studies over the next couple years while also attending the language institutes downtown until I am fluent in both Italian and Japanese. Once, I have completed my undergraduate and language courses, I plan on recieving a MA in Translation Studies from the U of I, it is an online degree so I would not have to leave the city I love so dearly.
My cousin, Justin, shot and killed himself about two weeks ago. It has been extremely devastating to my family but it has also helped me to realize a few things about myself. When my mom called to tell me, I was sitting in my apartment worried about money, the bad day I had at work, the fact that my computer was on the fritz and stressing over if the tow truck was going to get there before I had to leave for work. This made me stop and realize that I spend so much time worrying about insignificant things instead of remembering to count my blessings and realize just how great my life is compared to others.
And, there is a new guy in my life. We have been dating for just under four weeks now and it's still too soon for us to have even had the relationship talk but I am thoroughly smitten. It's a big deal because this is the first person I have dated since Matt and I broke up over a year and a half ago. Due in a large part that I have spent the past year and change completely broken up over the same guy that was never that into me to begin with. I forgot what it was like to be with someone who enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. He spoils me rotten and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what, if anything, the future holds for us.
All of this leads up to the biggest change, a change of outlook/attitude. Champaign is no longer home. I couldn't tell you exactly when this change occurred but I discovered it this weekend. I was gone four four days and I've never been so homesick in my life. I love my city and I love what my life has become since I moved here. I still miss my friends, my theatre community and my family like crazy but those things are no longer what I rely on. I finally have a life that is completely my own. I have friends that are my friends because I made them not because they were someone else's friends first. I have a job and a home that no one else helped me get. I have goals that aren't reliant on someone else's plans. I feel good, I've been eating better, exercising more and I've gone three days now without a cigarette. I finally feel like I can't screw things up for the time being.
I've finally started to get some creative projects off of the ground. I've managed to get my foot in the door at a small company here in the city and have done two play festivals and a staged reading with them. I've also been auditioning, participating in table reads, crewing and attending movie festivals with my dear friends at Broad Shoulders Productions. They've got some great things going for them and I'm happy to be even the smallest part of their team. In addition, my friend Aaron has a few film shoots and a photo shoot going on, one of them I will be posing for and I will be the makeup/hair/costume brains behind the others. It's nice to have someone trust my judgment and remind me of the things that I'm really good at.
I love my job, it's exactly the kind of department I was looking for and the kind of work I was hoping to do. The benefits are also amazing including an 85% tuition waiver which I will soon be taking advantage of in either our fall or winter quarter, depending on when I decide to start taking classes. I finally know exactly what degrees I want. I'll be pursuing a Bachelor's of Communication in Radio, TV and Film with our school of continuing studies over the next couple years while also attending the language institutes downtown until I am fluent in both Italian and Japanese. Once, I have completed my undergraduate and language courses, I plan on recieving a MA in Translation Studies from the U of I, it is an online degree so I would not have to leave the city I love so dearly.
My cousin, Justin, shot and killed himself about two weeks ago. It has been extremely devastating to my family but it has also helped me to realize a few things about myself. When my mom called to tell me, I was sitting in my apartment worried about money, the bad day I had at work, the fact that my computer was on the fritz and stressing over if the tow truck was going to get there before I had to leave for work. This made me stop and realize that I spend so much time worrying about insignificant things instead of remembering to count my blessings and realize just how great my life is compared to others.
And, there is a new guy in my life. We have been dating for just under four weeks now and it's still too soon for us to have even had the relationship talk but I am thoroughly smitten. It's a big deal because this is the first person I have dated since Matt and I broke up over a year and a half ago. Due in a large part that I have spent the past year and change completely broken up over the same guy that was never that into me to begin with. I forgot what it was like to be with someone who enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. He spoils me rotten and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what, if anything, the future holds for us.
All of this leads up to the biggest change, a change of outlook/attitude. Champaign is no longer home. I couldn't tell you exactly when this change occurred but I discovered it this weekend. I was gone four four days and I've never been so homesick in my life. I love my city and I love what my life has become since I moved here. I still miss my friends, my theatre community and my family like crazy but those things are no longer what I rely on. I finally have a life that is completely my own. I have friends that are my friends because I made them not because they were someone else's friends first. I have a job and a home that no one else helped me get. I have goals that aren't reliant on someone else's plans. I feel good, I've been eating better, exercising more and I've gone three days now without a cigarette. I finally feel like I can't screw things up for the time being.