Panic in the streets
So, after I can't remember how many months of normalcy, I had a panic attack today. It happened on the way home from work this evening. I had just hung up with my husband when I felt the tightness in my chest. Then, came the pounding heart, the cold sweat, and the trembling limbs. I thought a couple of times I was going to have to pull over into a side street until I recovered. I did my breathing/counting exercise. I recited "The Lord's Prayer" to myself; I even attempted to sing a little. Nothing seemed to work. And, of course, as I was in a hurry to get home, I managed to hit every single stop light I encountered. By the time I finally made it home, I was beginning to feel better. I walked in the front door and went immediately to the bathroom to wet a washcloth for the back of my neck.
I really wish I understood what causes these attacks. Most people who suffer from panic disorder have attacks triggered by stressful situations. Mine don't always happen that way. Today, for instance, I felt relatively good. I wasn't stressed about traffic or work or anything for that matter. I had just talked to my husband about going out for dinner and a movie, traffic was flowing at a normal pace - then BOOM! the walls started closing in all around me.
I have this annoying habit of rubbing my chest when I'm in the grips of an attack. It's a completely unconscious act at times. I looked down at one point while I was sitting at an intersection waiting for the light to change and realized I had worked my sweater half way up my chest. When I'm at home this isn't such a big deal I suppose, but as I was sitting in the middle of traffic on a public street, I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. Wouldn't want anyone to think I'm a pervert or anything.
It never ceases to amaze me how wiped out I feel after one of these episodes. Once it was over, all I wanted to do was eat dinner and take a nap. I think I slept for about three hours on the couch with the dog. I was so out of it, in fact, I didn't even wake up when my husband was sick in the bathroom. Poor guy, he's always such a doll about taking care of me when I don't feel well, and when he needed me, I was practically comatose. He's in bed now with a cold washcloth on his head. I'll probably check on him in a bit. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night for me.
I really wish I understood what causes these attacks. Most people who suffer from panic disorder have attacks triggered by stressful situations. Mine don't always happen that way. Today, for instance, I felt relatively good. I wasn't stressed about traffic or work or anything for that matter. I had just talked to my husband about going out for dinner and a movie, traffic was flowing at a normal pace - then BOOM! the walls started closing in all around me.
I have this annoying habit of rubbing my chest when I'm in the grips of an attack. It's a completely unconscious act at times. I looked down at one point while I was sitting at an intersection waiting for the light to change and realized I had worked my sweater half way up my chest. When I'm at home this isn't such a big deal I suppose, but as I was sitting in the middle of traffic on a public street, I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. Wouldn't want anyone to think I'm a pervert or anything.
It never ceases to amaze me how wiped out I feel after one of these episodes. Once it was over, all I wanted to do was eat dinner and take a nap. I think I slept for about three hours on the couch with the dog. I was so out of it, in fact, I didn't even wake up when my husband was sick in the bathroom. Poor guy, he's always such a doll about taking care of me when I don't feel well, and when he needed me, I was practically comatose. He's in bed now with a cold washcloth on his head. I'll probably check on him in a bit. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night for me.