like waking up from a fucked up dream
today-- its so hot in my room. i need like a man to turn the heat off. you have to like turn this thingy and i cant do it. fuck. i made up with "lily" and we went to dinner. i met her on 236th and she was with the whole fucking basketball team. yuck. i hate when guys hit on you in like packs, its scary. uhh i watched law and order and it was pretty nasty.. SVU of course!!
i met with my school shrink a few days ago and he said i should see someone outside of school, because he says i need someone to talk to. wtf does that mean? am i crazy? well its probably just because of my depression, but im not depressed.. im just unhappy for an extended period of time. and there isnt any real cause for it. i have kind of low self esteem, but not in the usual way. like i know people like me, but i always wonder for how long. like when will they just become sick of me? because yea im fun, but being fun isnt something to base things on and i wonder if other people know that.. i try and be a good friend and always listen. i try so hard to do everything that would make them happy so they wont leave me too. and its pretty exausting. i hate it when people leave. because they always leave me. i want someone to stay for longer then a night of fun.
the waiter tonight was SOO gay! c'mon i would have gotten his # if he was straight lol. he was so fucking cute. i wanted to just do him on the table jk ;)
"yea august 8th is a beautiful day like waking up from a fucked up dream suddenly everythings looking good theres been no permanent damage done
yea august 8th came right when it should whats going on whats going on theres something wrong with the scene theres something wrong theres something wrong im not trying to be mean"
i met with my school shrink a few days ago and he said i should see someone outside of school, because he says i need someone to talk to. wtf does that mean? am i crazy? well its probably just because of my depression, but im not depressed.. im just unhappy for an extended period of time. and there isnt any real cause for it. i have kind of low self esteem, but not in the usual way. like i know people like me, but i always wonder for how long. like when will they just become sick of me? because yea im fun, but being fun isnt something to base things on and i wonder if other people know that.. i try and be a good friend and always listen. i try so hard to do everything that would make them happy so they wont leave me too. and its pretty exausting. i hate it when people leave. because they always leave me. i want someone to stay for longer then a night of fun.
the waiter tonight was SOO gay! c'mon i would have gotten his # if he was straight lol. he was so fucking cute. i wanted to just do him on the table jk ;)
"yea august 8th is a beautiful day like waking up from a fucked up dream suddenly everythings looking good theres been no permanent damage done
yea august 8th came right when it should whats going on whats going on theres something wrong with the scene theres something wrong theres something wrong im not trying to be mean"