Lately...
I've been up and down.
The tiredness has returned. might have to do with the stress and the 1 year coming up. going to get some help. when i finally call a therapist and set it all up. that could take awhile, seeing as i hate going to talk to professionals, but i think its time, lord knows i have put it off for long enough. also, i have to decide... do i use the blue cross insurance, or the blue shield? insurance? what?
I got a new job. Ive been here a little over a month now, love it. I get to play with photoshop all day on graphics and animations. they pay me well, get catered meals atleast 1 time a week, fun little events and trips with everyone, video conferences with people up north, 100% paid medical(ppo), dental, and vision insurance 15 days after i started, sick pay, holiday pay, cell phone reimbursement, and so on. i dont get whats the catch.. waiting for it... waiting.... not finding it. oh and did i mention, getting to listen to itunes all day on headphones? weeeeeeee....
Senior year in highschool, i always wanted to either be a message therapist (that backfired.. stupid shoulder) or work in a graphics type field. well i finally got to one of those.
So i should be exstatic, not down and barely being able to drag myself out of bed. So that brings me back to the beginning of the post, i should set that up and see if that helps, couldnt hurt.
I dont know who out there reads, but how long does it take to stop missing that loved one on a day to day basis. when does the heart ache stop? is it normal to feel angry and want to just never wake up? cry at night, think you see them in a crowd when you are out and about?
I want to keep going with life, but i find myself always coming back to him. always holding back for him, i mean i know hes never coming back here, but for some reason, my heart wont let him go.
The tiredness has returned. might have to do with the stress and the 1 year coming up. going to get some help. when i finally call a therapist and set it all up. that could take awhile, seeing as i hate going to talk to professionals, but i think its time, lord knows i have put it off for long enough. also, i have to decide... do i use the blue cross insurance, or the blue shield? insurance? what?
I got a new job. Ive been here a little over a month now, love it. I get to play with photoshop all day on graphics and animations. they pay me well, get catered meals atleast 1 time a week, fun little events and trips with everyone, video conferences with people up north, 100% paid medical(ppo), dental, and vision insurance 15 days after i started, sick pay, holiday pay, cell phone reimbursement, and so on. i dont get whats the catch.. waiting for it... waiting.... not finding it. oh and did i mention, getting to listen to itunes all day on headphones? weeeeeeee....
Senior year in highschool, i always wanted to either be a message therapist (that backfired.. stupid shoulder) or work in a graphics type field. well i finally got to one of those.
So i should be exstatic, not down and barely being able to drag myself out of bed. So that brings me back to the beginning of the post, i should set that up and see if that helps, couldnt hurt.
I dont know who out there reads, but how long does it take to stop missing that loved one on a day to day basis. when does the heart ache stop? is it normal to feel angry and want to just never wake up? cry at night, think you see them in a crowd when you are out and about?
I want to keep going with life, but i find myself always coming back to him. always holding back for him, i mean i know hes never coming back here, but for some reason, my heart wont let him go.