A long time ago, We used to be friends.
A few weeks ago me and Jon were on our way to get some Wendy's (of course) when we drove by a street with probably around 15 cars parked. A couple got out of one car carrying something, I still have no idea what it was, but in my mind I see it as some sort of food (of course). The woman was wearing a black overcoat, the man, I can't remember anymore. Jon and I wondered why there were so many cars; he suggested it was a dinner party, or people meeting up after work; I said it might be a funeral.
Something about the setting took me back to two years ago when Andy died. I don't know what exactly it was but I was suddenly hit with a wave of pain from that week that entire month. I used to think about him everyday when it first happened. Through senior year, the summer, and even the beginning of college. Slowly it became less frequent, and the pain wasn't as potent. I feel guilty for that sometimes, not remembering him as much. And other times I get angry at others who completely forgot about him. Even the general reaction of our school; people went to his funeral to get out of class. It sickens me so much that I wish they were in the coffin in his place. Not really, but that they would somehow learn their lesson. Another girl from my high school died last year, but she was more popular than Andy, somehow her losing her life was more of a tragedy. The whole time I was thinking how much I hate this world sometimes, how ashamed I felt to be apart of it, and how hypocritical I was being for thinking so.
Andy, I have to admit, was quite annoying. He and I bickered non stop, honestly, I couldn't stand him half the time. But other times we had good talks, he was fun to hang out with. His shiva was very painful to sit through; seeing his parents and his brother was really hard to take. Fifteen, it's just not right.
It hit me today again for some reason, I really never know why. But it's helpful sometimes to put life in perspective. To acknowledge you have life, something that not everyone is blessed with having. To recognize how petty some problems and worries are, compared to the problems and worries of those who've lost loved ones.
We made a right at the end of that street; on the left corner Jon pointed out a funeral home. He looked at me bewildered as I let out a chuckle.
I was right. Now what does that say about me?
Something about the setting took me back to two years ago when Andy died. I don't know what exactly it was but I was suddenly hit with a wave of pain from that week that entire month. I used to think about him everyday when it first happened. Through senior year, the summer, and even the beginning of college. Slowly it became less frequent, and the pain wasn't as potent. I feel guilty for that sometimes, not remembering him as much. And other times I get angry at others who completely forgot about him. Even the general reaction of our school; people went to his funeral to get out of class. It sickens me so much that I wish they were in the coffin in his place. Not really, but that they would somehow learn their lesson. Another girl from my high school died last year, but she was more popular than Andy, somehow her losing her life was more of a tragedy. The whole time I was thinking how much I hate this world sometimes, how ashamed I felt to be apart of it, and how hypocritical I was being for thinking so.
Andy, I have to admit, was quite annoying. He and I bickered non stop, honestly, I couldn't stand him half the time. But other times we had good talks, he was fun to hang out with. His shiva was very painful to sit through; seeing his parents and his brother was really hard to take. Fifteen, it's just not right.
It hit me today again for some reason, I really never know why. But it's helpful sometimes to put life in perspective. To acknowledge you have life, something that not everyone is blessed with having. To recognize how petty some problems and worries are, compared to the problems and worries of those who've lost loved ones.
We made a right at the end of that street; on the left corner Jon pointed out a funeral home. He looked at me bewildered as I let out a chuckle.
I was right. Now what does that say about me?