Title: Theory of Convergence
Chapter: [7] Certain Things Have Come To Light - Part 2
Author:
tlacePairing/Character: Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly, with appearances by, pretty much, every Marsverse character ever
Word Count: 5800
Rating: R
Summary: WIP begins pre-series, Veronica’s birthday is the jumping off point. Veronica and Logan are left behind when the Kane kids unexpectedly leave for the summer
Spoilers: Season 1
Warnings: Each part will have its own rating
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Veronica Mars. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: A million fangirl thanks to Heather (
heather13) & Roz (
afrocurl) & Alli (
seluciav) for the beta!
This chapter is too large for one post so it is cut in two. (
one &
two)
As a storm brews outside, Logan puts in the DVD and sets the lights low, the approaching thunder and flares of lightning only adding to the mood of their being hunkered down, cozy and alone, while the world goes on around them.
The first time they watch the movie they’re both sitting up, intent, neither one of them talking, Veronica just staring ahead munching pizza, a lot of pizza. As if focused on learning just what it is about the film that Logan loves so much, she takes in the entire thing - studying it almost -without comment, just giggling and cackling at all the right moments, her spontaneous, genuine laugh filling every inch of the vast living room.
The second time they settle in and relax, Veronica removes the helmet from her head and takes off her extra sweater, to get more comfortable. She snuggles under a blanket that Logan finds for her and stretches out on the couch, resting her feet on some pillows Logan sets in his lap.
The third time they watch, Logan turns the sound way down, so it’s more like background noise, as they discuss the finer points and Logan teaches Veronica all the quotable lines, watching her lips curl around the dialog, and taking in the cadence of her voice as she manages spot-on impressions of each one of the quirky characters.
The fourth time they watch, the television is set on “mute” and is the only thing illuminating the room. That and the occasional, flare of far-off lightning left over from the storm that passed. Both of them have managed to find their way to the middle of the couch where they now sit side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, their feet up on a large ottoman which is strewn with evidence of all they’ve consumed.
Logan watches The Dude silently go on about his dudeness, mouthing the dialog to himself, when he feels Veronica’s weight against him, her head unexpectedly resting against his arm. He doesn’t move, just cranes his neck to see if her eyes are still open.
“Veronica?”
Her lids flutter open slightly, "Mm-hmm?"
"You're going to miss the best part."
"We can watch it again later,” she replies sleepily.
"But it's almost midnight."
Saying something unintelligible through a yawn, she moves to lay down, her head coming to rest in Logan's lap as she pulls the covers up to her chin.
This intimate gesture confuses, almost stuns him and he has to adjust a little. He fidgets as he stares down at her, expecting her to bolt up any minute when she realizes whose lap she’s laying on, but she only seems to settle in more, smacking her lips as she tucks her fists beneath his leg and exhales another yawn.
Unsure of where to put his hand, he takes a second to just look at her, watch her sleep, and the even rhythm of her breathing seems to calm him, allowing him to relax. Eventually he lets his hand come to rest on her forehead, his fingers gently stroking her hair, until he falls asleep too.
***
Shuffling out to her car in her father’s bathrobe, Viking horns askew on her head, Veronica hugs the extra large soda Logan retrieved for her from his father’s “exact-model” screening room in the crook of her arm, and with her free hand digs in her purse for her keys. Walking beside her Logan is silent, except for a large yawn that escapes him.
When they reach the Le Baron she turns around and leans back against the driver’s side door to face Logan, giving him a smile, which he returns as he reaches out to caress her face, a gesture that she secretly loves, one that reminds her just who he is and shakes her all at the same time.
“You always park by the staff entrance?” he teases through a drowsy smirk, brushing his finger down the bridge of her nose.
Veronica’s eyes immediately drop to her shoes and she can feel the adrenaline seeping into her chest, she supposes she could lie but she’s had so much fun tonight, feels so close to him and, because of the awesomeness of the evening actually forgot all about the awful way it started.
In fact, tonight has been one of those fantastic nights that should end with Veronica racing home to call Lilly and share all the exciting, and dramatic details. Hiding beneath the covers of her bed, phone clutched to her ear - and with a ridiculous grin on her face - breathing out the details of how confused she was when she saw the “other woman’s” car or how her stomach did a flip when she felt Logan’s fingers stoking her hair while she drifted off to sleep.
Then Lilly would encourage her, telling her to “go for it” that if a guy is interested in you and you’re interested in him, well then what’s it matter if he’s got a girlfriend?
But the guy is Logan and the girlfriend is Lilly and everything is so messed up that Veronica can’t think straight.
The only person she can tell is standing right in front of her, staring at her and waiting less and less patiently for the answer to his question.
“I thought Lilly was here,” she chokes, swallowing hard, before taking a large sip of soda and feeling suddenly relieved.
“What?” Logan asks, cocking his head and giving her a look like he could not be more baffled by what she just said.
“Earlier. It was surreal… Trina’s car looks just like Lilly’s and, uh…” Veronica stammers blowing out a breath, “… there were these panties on the ground.”
Appearing to take this in, to consider how that must have appeared and all the connotations of what Lilly’s return would mean, Logan looks down at his hands, “Oh.” He breathes out and Veronica watches his chest rise and fall with a deep, steadying breath. She waits for him to say something more, but he stays silent, staring intently into the palms of his hands as if a tiny - and very interesting - novel is tucked there.
“I sat out here forever…” Veronica admits, a tremble in her voice, “trying to figure out what to do.”
“What made you come in?” he asks, lifting his eyes to look at her, absently biting his bottom lip.
Glancing up at him, Veronica shrugs, “I wanted to see you.” Their eyes lock then and she lets out a long breath, still trembling but proud of herself, happy that she told him the truth.
“I could tell there was something wrong,” Logan murmurs, moving in to grab the robe’s dangling sash and using it to pull Veronica closer to him, “You looked… upset.”
Veronica breathes out a quivering laugh, bending her head to watch as Logan ties the sash and strings his thumbs around the knot, keeping her near. “Was it that obvious?”
”Mm-hmm,” Logan says, his voice soft, “I’m just glad you told me why.”
“Eight hours later?”
“Whenever,” he mutters, bowing his head and shifting on his feet, his mouth now unbearably close to her ear. He easily slides his hands along her waist, gently gripping her hips, his breath tickling her ear in steady bursts, “When you were late I was, uh, worried you might…”
“Lilly sent me a postcard,” she announces, looking down at her shoes, surprising even herself at the suddenness.
Logan chuckles, but there is an edge to it, “And you just had to tell me that right now?”
“No…” she falters, “uh, yeah, I guess.”
“You’re chock full of confessions tonight,” he observes, dropping his hands from her waist and shoving them deep into his pockets, the sudden shift catching Veronica off-guard.
“I just thought you’d like to know,” she mumbles, mad at herself for ruining yet another moment with thinking too much.
“Because you figured she didn’t send me one.”
“She did? Oh, well, th-that’s great,” she splutters, forcing herself to sound positive.
“Did I say that?”
“No… Logan, you’re confusing me here…” she declares, her voice sounding foreign and shaky.
“Yeah, well, you confuse me,” he confesses, heaving a loud sigh, his shoulders drooping as he kicks the ground and avoids her eyes.
As if hit by something large and heavy, Veronica is suddenly struck with the notion that Logan may be just as torn and confused by their situation as she is, that it’s entirely possible he’s wondering where friendship ends and something else begins. That he’s not, in fact, just waiting to pounce on her the moment she gives in but is actually feeling just as awkward and deceitful and scared as she is and, at the same time, wishing their time alone together never comes to an end.
“Logan…” she whispers reaching up to touch his face this time, running her hand down his cheek until he faces her, “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I’m not sweating it. Really. I know Lilly well enough.”
“Not that,” she says pointedly, still looking into his eyes. “Take comfort in the fact that Duncan isn’t exactly calling me every day.”
Logan appears suddenly hopeful, “He’s not?”
Veronica shakes her head, “I haven’t talked to him since we went for our walk,” she heaves a dramatic sigh before continuing, “Something has them seriously occupied.”
“Half-naked Italian men,” Logan concludes, matter of fact, shifting to lean back against the car next to Veronica, and turning his head to meet her gaze. “I saw the postcard,” he replies off of her look, “When I brought in your mail.”
“Oh.”
Having known her nearly her entire life Veronica is well aware of Lilly’s ideas on true love - it doesn’t exist. As well as her best friend’s thoughts on commitment - kissing as many boys as possible is the key to true happiness Veronica Mars, kissing… and other stuff. Veronica’s heard every insanely dirty story Lilly’s ever told; the ones that she is almost scared to believe are true. But she knows they are. Every last one.
And yet, she has never even considered whether Logan might know that Lilly isn’t faithful to him. But looking at him now, she supposes he has to at least have an inkling. Because, despite having the advantage of first hand knowledge, Veronica figures that Lilly’s infidelity is written all over her and that if Logan doesn’t know, it’s a choice… a conscious decision to ignore it.
Or maybe he’s okay with Lilly’s dalliances, knows it comes with the territory, part of the deal if he wants to love her. Veronica supposes there’s some compromise in any relationship, infidelity not being one she’d afford anyone, but she’s not Logan. And while she can’t imagine being okay with someone cheating on her, she is familiar with loving someone who can sometimes seem just out of reach.
So she rationalizes the not telling him because it is easier than rationalizing the other, sharing information that would be colored with her new feelings and no longer just be about letting him know that Lilly cheats so he can make the choice to be with her or not. It would also be about exposing Lilly for who she is, out of some envious want to make herself appear better, more appealing by comparison.
The irony of that thought isn’t lost on her, seeing as she’s this close to just letting Logan kiss her. Wanting him to, wishing that neither one of them had a conscience, just for a minute. Or that they’d find themselves in one of those convenient moments in every teen comedy she’s ever watched where the lead couple is forced to kiss thanks to some machination like a game of spin-the-bottle or an errant sprig of mistletoe.
And with that - just the act of thinking about thinking about kissing him - her face goes hot. The sense that Logan is staring at her doesn’t help, so she presses her hands to her cheeks in hopes the cool of her fingers will somehow suppress the flush.
Telling him the truth, any truth, seems suddenly vital for some reason. Maybe because the topic of Lilly instantly altered the mood of their good-bye, or because being so open with him just moments ago made her feel really good or, maybe, because this awkward, unwelcome silence is making her crave the sound of his voice. So, without turning to look at him she playfully blurts, “I’m glad you forced me watch The Big Lebowski.”
“You liked it,” Logan says, his voice going up in a lilt as though surprised and somewhat pleased with himself.
“Loved it,” she confides, turning to face him while still leaning against the car, “It’s like you knew I’d like it or something.”
“I did, just had to convince you,” Logan says, pivoting to mirror her lean and flashing a bashful smile, “which wasn’t difficult, by the way. You didn’t put up much of a fight.”
“Maybe that’s because I’m having such a great time…” she exhales through the butterflies, working up the nerve to finish her statement, “…all because of you.”
”Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, honestly, if you hadn’t forced me to go to Ashley’s party…” she teases, “I would still be sitting in my room sticking pins in my Celeste Kane doll and downing pints of Chubby Hubby,” she reveals with an anxious chuckle. “My hips thank you.”
“They’re welcome,” he offers, peering up at her from beneath his brow.
Feeling suddenly bold Veronica steps up to him and laces her arms around his neck. Standing on her tiptoes she brings her face as close to his as she can - without lips touching lips - and looks into his eyes, waiting for something to happen. But Logan doesn’t respond how she thought he would, instead gently covering her hands with his, slipping them off his neck and down, while keeping them gently clasped in his finger tips.
“You should probably go,” he advises, stroking the backs of her knuckles, “wouldn’t want the sheriff to think I kept you out past curfew.”
Stunned, and somewhat embarrassed at what she thinks may be rejection, Veronica obliges with a nod. But then Logan does it again, skimming his hands over her hair and down to cup her face, lightly brushing his thumb over her lips. “Call me when you get home,” he whispers, “Talk me to sleep.”
Before she can catch her breath Logan reaches around her and grabs the door handle, opening it for her with a gentlemanly bow. She climbs in and rather awkwardly puts the key in the ignition, starting the car as Logan softly shuts the door and steps back. She looks over at him and he gives a quick wave before she drives off.
As she exits the gate her breathing stabilizes and she permits her face to erupt into a goofy grin as she reaches for her cell and dials Logan’s number.
/end chapter