Hi, I'm Miranda -- here's a novel.
So -- advice. Or something. I don't know, it's kind of hard to explain, but let's just say this entire situation is totally hypothetical and the shrink (you know, the kind that's supposed to know people and know what to do in a situation like this but you're too chicken to talk to) is not an option.
Let's just say there's this guy, who works for your dad, and is like, way older than you (but not way way. He's thirty to your twenty) and two years ago, you and him did something really, really stupid. Because at a freshly minted eighteen and wanting to prove that you were capable of making your own decisions, you suddenly found out that you're really not. Anyway, stupid deed was done, and you thought it was one thing and he thought it was another, and in the end, you wound up royally screwed and afraid to go visit your dad at his job, because very time you do, you're afraid that he's going to keep looking at you like he did when the bad shit went down.
Now, you know you have the bit of an upper hand here, because if you tell your dad what went down on company property, said bad guy's ass will hit the Park Avenue pavement so fast he wouldn't even know what hit him, but you don't want to black mark him like that because you know, he might be a good at his job, and not a total fucktard like you like to think he is. But you really, really don't like the way he holds your stupid moves over your head. And then bring into the picture this new guy who is a thousand times better than the old one in every department, and he wants a bit more of a commitment from you, and you can't because you're really that fucked in the head...
What the hell am I doing? You know what, never mind, forget it. I'm an idiot.
Let's just say there's this guy, who works for your dad, and is like, way older than you (but not way way. He's thirty to your twenty) and two years ago, you and him did something really, really stupid. Because at a freshly minted eighteen and wanting to prove that you were capable of making your own decisions, you suddenly found out that you're really not. Anyway, stupid deed was done, and you thought it was one thing and he thought it was another, and in the end, you wound up royally screwed and afraid to go visit your dad at his job, because very time you do, you're afraid that he's going to keep looking at you like he did when the bad shit went down.
Now, you know you have the bit of an upper hand here, because if you tell your dad what went down on company property, said bad guy's ass will hit the Park Avenue pavement so fast he wouldn't even know what hit him, but you don't want to black mark him like that because you know, he might be a good at his job, and not a total fucktard like you like to think he is. But you really, really don't like the way he holds your stupid moves over your head. And then bring into the picture this new guy who is a thousand times better than the old one in every department, and he wants a bit more of a commitment from you, and you can't because you're really that fucked in the head...
What the hell am I doing? You know what, never mind, forget it. I'm an idiot.