Tough Stuff Continued....
I think i was on Saterday......Yeah i was well early Saterday morning we ended up all talking about guy's and girls and how people actually start a relationship if they are trying to do it the right way, or Biblically would be more correct. That was highly enlightening at least to hear the males perspective. I had already told these particular guy's that i thought they didn't have any balls......oops big mistake, or not becuase as far as i can tell people are now almost couples, and before the guys weren't leading AT ALL, which is their job, whoever i end up better be up for pursuing me because i think i'v made it too easy for guys to be in a relationship with me. It's not playing games i refuse to do that, but practicing some self control with how much i'll allow myself to call guy's and how much i'll let them know that i'm interested, i'm tired of putting my heart out there it's the guy's turn. I'll clearly communicate only after whoever it is that likes me gets there act together and puts it out there on the table. On the flip side of that i decided that if a guy that i know i don't want to date because we don't have the same ministry focuses starts to show me a little too much attention for my comfort and the sake of not leading them on i'm just gonna tell them that i don't like them that, way little hurt now or alot later my choice. (Rob always said that) I'v already had this conversation with too many guys as of late, and i'm quite done with all that. Saterday i got all dolled up to go to the wedding and sing in it. There was somone that i knew was going to be there, and was hoping would come and talk to me, in fact i was sitting there in the front row at the wedding by myself getting all whimsical becuase there was awesome old jazz standards about being in love playing and only christmas lights and candles lighting the room, and this super attractive guy, came right over tapped me on the shoulder and said hi and told me a looked beautiful, and that he loved my hair cut.......which i was hoping he would cause it's quite a bit different. Anyway i could tell he wanted to sit next to me and then decided since i had already told him my heart was too wrapped up in a guy that i wish i wasn't wrapped up with that i couldn't give him a fair chance and i didn't want him to be a rebound guy, that he would sit a few rows behind me.....so there i was lonely again in the front row, but so excited and happy for Tony and Amy man they are awesome, have I mentioned that yet? Well right before i left to go to the reception he came and found me and briefly said "Hey i'll see you at the reception" all the while my pastors wife was watching us interact, as soon as she left she became the grand inquistioner, "who is, how do i know him, WOW he's cute" i told her super sheepishly "yeah he's cute, but i'm kinda trying to hook him up with one of my friends" she scolded me for even thinking that i could try to set people up, and told me "you should go for him he is very attractive and it's obvious that he has a liking for you." Great during the whole wedding i was thinking "dang, i'm a jerky friend, i'v really been thinking about this guy lately, he's treated me like a lady, and complimented me and been real with me even when i have asked him tough questions about how many girls he's like lately, no i can't let myself like him, shoot, what am i going to do?"
The reception rolled around and i was going to sit with my close friends and then decided i wanted to have a good time and that i'm responsible for my own good time, and went and found some people to talk to, and had a blast. Especially when that guy i'v been talking about came over to me and said "Hey i don't know how to dance very well, but i would sure like to dance with you...would you like to dance?" I said "yeah i'd really like that" so we just goofed around until he had to leave which i was entirely too soon for my taste, once he left i was like yup i'm ready to go.....but then i started dancing and had an awesome time. God is good man i could have had a misserable time but instead i had a blast, despite dodging dances with people i didn't want to dance with and avoiding awkward or silent conversations. After the wedding i did some stuff with friends and then we eventually ended up watching a movie by the second movie the couple were starting to form again i'll admit i kinda moved my friend over so she could sit next to her interest. Well my closer friends left to go do whatever and i stayed with the couples. To be continued................
The reception rolled around and i was going to sit with my close friends and then decided i wanted to have a good time and that i'm responsible for my own good time, and went and found some people to talk to, and had a blast. Especially when that guy i'v been talking about came over to me and said "Hey i don't know how to dance very well, but i would sure like to dance with you...would you like to dance?" I said "yeah i'd really like that" so we just goofed around until he had to leave which i was entirely too soon for my taste, once he left i was like yup i'm ready to go.....but then i started dancing and had an awesome time. God is good man i could have had a misserable time but instead i had a blast, despite dodging dances with people i didn't want to dance with and avoiding awkward or silent conversations. After the wedding i did some stuff with friends and then we eventually ended up watching a movie by the second movie the couple were starting to form again i'll admit i kinda moved my friend over so she could sit next to her interest. Well my closer friends left to go do whatever and i stayed with the couples. To be continued................