today is another day!

[just_plain_love]

compared to my friends'friday nite...mine was pretty crappy!my best friend went out on friday with a couple of her other friends and her ex-nitemare(if thats what u wanna call her)! i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that i cant be included in any friday nite activities...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that we cant still wear the same outfit purposely on the same day...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that i have to be shut out of her life forever...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that i have to hang out with other people because they are hanging out all together...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that i cant still be her little sister(knowing the age difference)...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that we cant still have as much fun as we used too...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that she wont un-invite me to her comp and invite her ex-nitemare instead...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that she will go over to her ex-nitemare's house instead of mine after school...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that she will talk about her crush with her ex-nitemare instead of me...i hope that because they are friends again doesnt mean that she wont still call my mother her mother...i hope that becasue they are friends again wont seperate the friendship we have...in all of this said, i just want her to know that i hope i didnt lose my sister...my best friend...i dont wanna feel like im being excluded all the damn time...and when i read her journal entire...thats exactly how i felt. they had so much fun!!?? they even gave eachother nicknames!(tear!tear!)i want to let her know that im still here and that i havent dissapeared...at least not yet!!?? i love her with all my heart and she knows that too! i have ...and will always...every memory that we've shared...even if one of them is that i crashed into a pole snowboarding..wont be lost!but...that wont stop me from showing her that i dont want anything to change between us...i am nothing without her...i am just another face in the crowd...another "someone". and that someone is a person who is nothing like her other friends..she is just another face in the crowd, a person i dont wanna be anymore! i wanna show my friends that i do wanna fit in with them and maybe i cant because i dont wanna have to smoke pot to show them that. all i want is a place in ALL of there hearts....a place where someone will never...ever... be forgotten! this person knows who they are and i want them to know all of this...i want her to know that i am here and that i havent disapeared yet....that i dont wanna disapear from her eyes...i wanna stay in her life. with that said.....
I LOVE YOU...........LET ME NOT DISAPEAR.............LET ME STAY EXACTLY WHERE I AM....WITH A FEW ADJUSTMENTS!