(no subject)
Well, things are a bit crazy in my life-o-rama right now, but I'll do my best to sum up.
First, I got two new kids today. Little fuzzy bundles of rattie lovin'. Two girls, not related, but both from the same store, both fairly young, and horribly cute. Hopefully I'll be able to get some pics soon. Yay, new lovey pets!
On a more reality based note (blah), I think it's well and truly time for me to get a new job. I've been working this one over in my mind for a long time now, and I've come to the conclusion that the current situation at my work isn't going to change enough to make me feel any less crappy about going to work on a daily basis. When I find myself making a mental tally of how many times in the last X month period have I used a particular excuse to justify either being intentionally late for work or ditching work entirely, the little red lights go on in my brain. I've been making lists like that for a while now, so it's way past time to stop bitching and just do something about it. To be honest, I don't care if I end up working in a grocery store. As long as I don't have to do what I'm doing right now, I'll be fine. I'm not even looking at the logistics necessary for a new job yet. I can't seem to make my mind get past "MUST GET OUT OF HERE!" mode. Blech.
It occurs to me all of a sudden that maybe that's why taking a month-long break form the salon I'm in now to go work at a different kind of salon last summer didn't really help anything. I think maybe I'm just burnt out on doing hair in general. *sigh* Oh well. I guess it's back to the drawing board on this whole job thing. I just wish I had someTHING that I could really get in to.
Uh-oh........
Okay, here's the deal. (come on, you knew it had to happen SOME time) I still don't feel like I have a THING. You know, everyone has a THING or two that keeps them going. The kind of THING that if they could figure out a way to make money doing it, they'd never feel like they were working at all. For example, my husband has his music, Alysen has her art, Jerry has the computers, and Megan has the stage. These are all great examples of THINGS. It seems like everyone has one except me. I dabble in a lot of THINGS, but I have yet to find one that I can stick with for more than a week or so. I feel like if I found my THING, at least I'd have something to work for and put effort in to. It wouldn't matter in the slightest if I had to work a crappy job, because I'd always have someTHING to save money for and to look forward to enjoying at the end of the day.
No quiz, no personality test, no skill evaluation is going to give me this THING. I know it's out there, but I have no clue how to begin finding it. I feel rabid jealousy for the people who have their THING leap right out at them, usually in high school, if not earlier. These people have a purpose, they have a place in the world. They belong to something. They know that no matter what, there will always be this THING in their lives to bring them joy. I, on the other hand, have noTHING. I'm not saying my entire life is crappy (far from it, actually), but there's still this empty place inside waiting for me to get on with it and just find my THING.
Some days I feel this vacancy more than others, but it never really goes away. I can chase it off by picking up a new obsession for a little while, but it always comes back, usually bigger and badder, since I have just added to the list of THINGS that are not mine.
Again, oh well. We now return you to your regularly scheduled journal...
Long story short, wish me luck on the job front, and I hope that all of you out there in LJ land are having a less stressful life than I am right now.
Catch you on the flip side...
First, I got two new kids today. Little fuzzy bundles of rattie lovin'. Two girls, not related, but both from the same store, both fairly young, and horribly cute. Hopefully I'll be able to get some pics soon. Yay, new lovey pets!
On a more reality based note (blah), I think it's well and truly time for me to get a new job. I've been working this one over in my mind for a long time now, and I've come to the conclusion that the current situation at my work isn't going to change enough to make me feel any less crappy about going to work on a daily basis. When I find myself making a mental tally of how many times in the last X month period have I used a particular excuse to justify either being intentionally late for work or ditching work entirely, the little red lights go on in my brain. I've been making lists like that for a while now, so it's way past time to stop bitching and just do something about it. To be honest, I don't care if I end up working in a grocery store. As long as I don't have to do what I'm doing right now, I'll be fine. I'm not even looking at the logistics necessary for a new job yet. I can't seem to make my mind get past "MUST GET OUT OF HERE!" mode. Blech.
It occurs to me all of a sudden that maybe that's why taking a month-long break form the salon I'm in now to go work at a different kind of salon last summer didn't really help anything. I think maybe I'm just burnt out on doing hair in general. *sigh* Oh well. I guess it's back to the drawing board on this whole job thing. I just wish I had someTHING that I could really get in to.
Uh-oh........
Okay, here's the deal. (come on, you knew it had to happen SOME time) I still don't feel like I have a THING. You know, everyone has a THING or two that keeps them going. The kind of THING that if they could figure out a way to make money doing it, they'd never feel like they were working at all. For example, my husband has his music, Alysen has her art, Jerry has the computers, and Megan has the stage. These are all great examples of THINGS. It seems like everyone has one except me. I dabble in a lot of THINGS, but I have yet to find one that I can stick with for more than a week or so. I feel like if I found my THING, at least I'd have something to work for and put effort in to. It wouldn't matter in the slightest if I had to work a crappy job, because I'd always have someTHING to save money for and to look forward to enjoying at the end of the day.
No quiz, no personality test, no skill evaluation is going to give me this THING. I know it's out there, but I have no clue how to begin finding it. I feel rabid jealousy for the people who have their THING leap right out at them, usually in high school, if not earlier. These people have a purpose, they have a place in the world. They belong to something. They know that no matter what, there will always be this THING in their lives to bring them joy. I, on the other hand, have noTHING. I'm not saying my entire life is crappy (far from it, actually), but there's still this empty place inside waiting for me to get on with it and just find my THING.
Some days I feel this vacancy more than others, but it never really goes away. I can chase it off by picking up a new obsession for a little while, but it always comes back, usually bigger and badder, since I have just added to the list of THINGS that are not mine.
Again, oh well. We now return you to your regularly scheduled journal...
Long story short, wish me luck on the job front, and I hope that all of you out there in LJ land are having a less stressful life than I am right now.
Catch you on the flip side...