Strange and Absent Friends
With the advent of the new year I've been pondering whether or not to try and contact an old friend of mine, N.
We first met in elementary school when we were 7 years of age and remained close friends until she took a strange turn in the early 1990's and distanced herself from me.
I thought at first it was because by then I had two young children, but later discovered that she had backed off for personal reasons because she had suffered some health issues and didn't want to burden me with her problems.
N has always been a very lovely person but I deferred to her wishes although I missed her a lot.
Then in early 2002 a mutual friend of ours passed away and I called my old friend to let her know and tell her when and where the funeral would take place. She did show up and we reconnected, but lost touch again shortly after that.
I knew she had a brother who had moved to B.C. (where I moved last year) a very long time ago. He had studied architecture at university but couldn't find a job back home, so he took a job in the forestry industry here, got married and settled down with his family.
Recently I found his address online (N never got into social media herself) and after much thought, I've decided to write to him and ask about N.
I've hesitated a bit because I don't want to find out she's passed away, but I am now determined to write him.
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A story about another friend is more troubling. He was my husband's best friend since they were about 13. He still lives back east, but I have not been in contact with him since we moved here.
He is disabled due to a series of strokes. The last time we saw him was when my husband's dementia was not very much advanced, so he could still drive and communicate adequately. D, our friend, was able to walk with the use of a cane and looked to be in good health otherwise. We had a lovely visit with him at his home.
He told us he had met a woman at the hospital where he regularly received spinal blocks because his back was severely injured in a fall he took off a ladder.
She, L, was 20 years his junior, and suffering from schizophrenia for which she needs frequent hospitalization. Nevertheless, they hit it off and she would often visit him with the view to help him out with daily tasks, but he said more often than not she wasn't up to doing anything and could spend hours staring at a can of Pepsi.
She also regularly visits another elderly man (D is just over 70 and the other man, R, is about the same age), with whom she has sex and buys his groceries.
L is in her 50's but still lives (or lived) with her parents in their condo apartment. She's hardly ever there because she spends most of her time between D's house and R's place.
Into this situation comes D's ex-girlfriend, V, who after breaking up with D, has been married twice. Both her ex-husbands are deceased. V told me that she has a bad habit of killing all her men. Not on purpose though.
When my husband and I were in our 20's we were great friends with D and V, after hubby and I became a couple. We did everything together. But after they broke up and V married someone else, I didn't see her until she divorced her first husband and was going through some depression.
She worked close to my office so we would meet for lunch often. Then we found ourselves both pregnant at the same time and lost touch after our babies were born.
V contacted me after she and D reconnected and told me the most harrowing stories about his past. He had also married and had one child, but after falling out with his ex-wife, she left him, cleaned out their bank account and bad-mouthed him so badly to their daughter that she cut off all contact with him.
Very long story short, V and I had been talking on the phone very frequently since last year, but suddenly she closed her Facebook account, and changed her phone number, because I can no longer reach her.
I used to talk to D on the phone often as well, but V informed me that I didn't need to call him anymore because she would talk to him and tell me what was going on with him.
She did tell me that L had disappeared from his life and was presumably spending her time fully with R.
The last thing I heard was that D had suffered another stroke and this one left him paralyzed and bedridden. Fortunately his daughter made up with him and she and her husband have hired someone to care for him. They visit him weekly, as both have jobs.
I don't know what happened to V. I've lost contact with D. My husband would be heartbroken, but because of his dementia he no longer remembers him.
I am saddened by all of this. I don't know if I should try to call D. He still has his Facebook account and I can call him on Messenger.