I Don't Believe You - Part 1
Title: I Don’t Believe You - Part One
Rating: NC-17
Characters: John, Jack
Pairings: Jack/John
Spoilers: None what so ever.
Summary: Discarded and alone above the streets of Cardiff John Hart has nothing left but to live in the past, more specifically the troubled past he shared with Jack Harkness as Time Agents…
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: So I’m back sort of in the realms of AU…and most definitely in the realms of Jack/John. And I should really point out that this fic was spawned by the beautiful naddypants (my beyond awesome beta) who gave me the prompt of Pink’s song “I don’t believe you” some time ago. You can find the lyrics here. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to delve into the boys’ past, which lead me to this little creation about their partnership. It’s again a bit experimental for me but bear with me…there is smut even if you enjoy very little else of it! Haha. Of course if you fancy throwing any comments my way I will love you forever, as to be honest you guys keep me writing. :)
For Naddy.
Because it is her 18th birthday on Monday and she’s so special that this is the very least I can give her as a present.
That and I have owed her this prompt for a VERY long time… :P
He had thought that it would never, ever be final.
And yet that last kiss John had pressed to Jack’s cheek had still felt it.
The cityscape yawned out in front of him, the tops of the buildings shod in a deepening grey light. A brief, yet troubled rainfall had graced the city merely hours before, and now each rooftop glistened, pools of silver shimmering in the moonlight. The wind was soft, a wisp like breeze that blew across the city, a solitary caress, stroking across skin before being lost within an instant. And yet with all the peace and tranquillity, the city still professed its life. A quiet, distant rumble seemed to accompany the encroaching darkness, welcome it, the dulled screams of sirens cutting high above the dulcet tones like a soprano melody.
Amongst all this crystalline air, John Hart was well and truly alone, the city sleeping and dormant around him. But just as the humans that inhabited this mundane little planet drifted into unconsciousness, the people that lived deep within John’s memories were just beginning to wake. It was a rare feeling for him, a man who was so used to living in the past that it was as if the past barely even existed. And yet now, for whatever reason it did, memories from long ago growing louder and louder as he drained what was left of his second bottle of vodka. For a split second he closed his eyes, silently begging his body just to feel something - to no longer be this numb. But he was unrewarded, and idly he tossed the bottle from his vantage point on the rooftop and waited for the gratifying smash that soon followed. The sound ripping through the silence around him only provided a small shred of comfort, and as he licked the remainder of the bitter liquid from his lips John leant backwards, sprawling out on the concrete below a sparse carpet of stars. In a desperate move he glanced up, trying to name every star in his head and somehow quieten the memories that were beginning to flare in front of his vision. But not even this simple task was enough to distract him, and soon John was re-enacting experiences that he has long since tried to forget…
“You…” John triumphantly smirks before quickly pressing a smoothed metal flask to his lips and throwing back his head, a cascade of whiskey flowing past his parched lips. “…You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me.”
“You don’t know that.” A bitter Jack replies.
“Don’t I?” The other time agent laughs, reaching forwards unceremoniously with his free hand and grabbing Jack’s gun from his holster. Carefully and yet with his same, constant air of arrogance he examines the object, laughing softly as his eyes meet with Jack’s once more. “I counted six men chasing you…and only two bullets left…” He grins again, draining his flask and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. “That would have to be some damn good shooting…”
“What do you want from me John?” Jack barks, a deep anger rooted in his eyes.
“A little thanks maybe? Or is saving your life countless times all in the line of duty now?”
“We’re partners.”
“Exactly. So I shouldn’t have to be your baby sitter too.” John sighs, swivelling around and turning his attention to the ship’s console in front of him. “Did you get it?”
“Of course I did.” Jack grunts, pulling out a small, glowing piece of circuitry that hums and vibrates with each passing second. They had been tracing the object, a temporal drive similar to those used in their wrist straps for some days now, ever since the Time Agency had detected its movement through a Rift in time and space. It had washed up in some god forsaken part of the Old Earth, during a primitive age where coal was still used as a fuel and CFC’S were busy eating up the atmosphere. It should have been a simple recovery job, but unfortunately the temporal drive had fallen into the hands of the military, top secret of course, and so getting close to it had been ridiculously difficult. Grimacing Jack reaches over to the console, opening up a specific panel and depositing the object inside it, before closing it again swiftly.
“And the research?”
“Destroyed.”
“Scientists?”
“Neutralised.” Jack rolls his eyes, loosening the buttons on his shirt so that it falls open, revealing his deep navy Time Agency uniform underneath. Leaning back in his chair he gives John a look filled with contempt. “I can follow orders, Hart.”
“Good job you can do something then.” John smirks, his hands flicking across the controls in front of him as the ship judders into life. “Now…are we going to carry on this little domestic? Or shall we actually go home?”
They’d hated each other, and John could remember that right then he had fantasised about killing Jack countless times, frustration and tension acting as electric sparks that coursed through his veins. They were both too confident, too egotistic that neither would admit the other’s talents or strong points. They were too proud to ask for help when they needed it, neither of them wanting to seem weaker than the other. In addition at that time John remembered feeling distinctly bitter, betrayed by his last partner, a stunning beauty from Delta 9 who had been promoted and promptly left him behind. It was the only time that John had ever really felt attached to anyone in his life, and when she was gone he instantly began hating himself for the unimportant feeling that he was left with. He and Jack had been partnered almost immediately afterwards, and although it had been a temporary arrangement at the time the two of them worked well, getting the Agency the results it needed and cementing their partnership into a permanent one. Or…as permanent as the Time Agency could manage anyway.
Pain is surging through his body at an alarming rate as John falls, his face hitting the sand with a dull thud. Around him his vision blurs and fragments, interspersed with darkness as shadows dance across his vision. His blood is pounding in his ears, his heart hammering in his chest as he clutches desperately at his stomach, cold liquid beginning to pool in between his fingertips. He’s dying, and worst of all even his partner isn’t going to be with him in the end. Surrounded by those sand dunes, John Hart is convinced that he is finally going to die alone.
There are gunshots around him as John blinks hard, unable to stop the feeling of unconsciousness that is gathering at the back of his head, steadily pushing forward towards his eyes. He is blinded by pain now, vague shapes shifting across his vision until suddenly there is nothing, his awareness fading into obscurity…
He had never believed in an afterlife, and as John opens his eyes he certainly wasn’t expecting it to look like his ship, soft lights of orange, purple and blue shimmering in and out of his vision. Immediately he groans, a hand moving down to his stomach and feeling at the skin, grasping suddenly when he feels no sign of any wound or scar. He sits up instantly, his head swimming from the sudden action.
“Nanobots.” Jack laughs breathlessly, sat on the other side of the ship by the console, his eyes looking tired and weary. “Just don’t plan on doing this again…I’ve had to use our entire blood store just to keep you alive.” Glancing to his left, John sees a small bag suspended above his bed, connected to his arm via a small tube. Noting that it is empty John shudders, pulling the needle from his arm and then moving to stand. He staggers dramatically, his hand reaching out to steady himself against the wall.
“You’ll be a bit unsteady for a while…” Jack nods. “They fixed the damage but your body is still in shock.”
“Where…the hell did you get them?” John finally manages to speak, edging closer to Jack, his hand still firm against the wall.
“I kept some behind in a canister.” Jack smirks, nodding to a small silver cylinder on the console. “The mission was to retrieve the Nanobot technology; they never told us we had to hand all of it over.”
“That’s…against protocol.”
“It saved your life.” Jack laughs again softly. “And since when have we…or the Agency, cared about protocol?”
“Point taken.” John smiles weakly, lowering himself down into his chair at the console beside Jack. “I guess I should…” He shrugs sheepishly, not quite looking him in the eye. “Thanks.”
“I thought we didn’t say that?” Jack smiles in reply, not looking up either, his gaze fixed on the console like his life depends upon it. “Look…I didn’t want to pilot this thing back on my own ok? Let’s not get sentimental…”
“I wasn’t getting sentimental.”
“Good.” There’s a finality to Jack’s voice that catches John off guard, even making him flinch slightly at how the man’s voice has suddenly become so uncaring. Not that he wants him to care especially, but in those past few moments it had felt to John as if he had. And even worse, he had actually found himself liking the feeling. “Are you strong enough for us to leave?” Jack’s voice rings out suddenly, authoritative as he begins to set the co-ordinates himself. “Or do I have to wait around for even longer while you’re busy being dramatic?”
“I’m fine.” John shakes his head, grimacing as annoyance bristles through him. “Everything’s back to normal…”
He wished now that he had seen it coming, but even then, after countless missions and several months spent as Jack’s partner, John had still been blissfully hiding his attraction behind a blanket of contempt. Sure, he had realised that Jack was attractive, gorgeous even, but John also knew that he could easily find someone gorgeous enough to satisfy him on shore leave. And sure, if Jack kept that mouth of his shut for long enough then maybe John would quite easily have fucked him, but fortunately whenever the thought sprung to mind Jack would say something so completely characteristic that John would instantly go back to wanting to punch him unconscious. It was a useful predicament of sorts, as it ensured that John would never really get too close to his partner. Or at least, that was the theory…
“You’re leaving me behind then?” Jack says suddenly, his eyes fixed on one of the monitors that was tracking their trajectory through space. He doesn’t look up, and his voice is distinctly flat and “matter of fact”.
“What?”
“Oh come on John…give me a little credit. Anyone can decode one of the Agency’s private signals if they want to enough.” He rolls his eyes quickly. “You’re being allocated to a different team. Promoted.” Jack’s face is still blank but this time his voice has within in it a hint of jealousy.
“Oh…”John sighs, instantly cursing himself for actually feeling awkward about this. “My ex partner…she moved up into their squad sometime ago. I guess she must have remembered that I exist.”
“Friends in high places.” Jack mutters, barely even audible to John’s hearing. “It’s not right. I’ve worked just as hard as you…the same fucking missions. And what do I get out of all of this?”
“You get rid of me.”
“And you get replaced by another arrogant and ruthless bastard who thinks he’s immortal too.” Jack rolls his eyes angrily, his gaze finally meeting John’s. “I’m no better off.”
“Is that what you think of me?”
“It’s a start.” Jack quickly shakes his head, laughing darkly. “Or what? Now you’re a higher rank than me I suddenly have to start treating you with respect? Calling you sir?”
“Why change the habit of a lifetime?” John smirks in return, standing up and glaring angrily at him. “If I’m so bad, have you looked at yourself? Don’t you see why you and me don’t get on?”
“Because you can’t follow orders John?…Or maybe it’s because you’re always running your mouth off and I’m the one who has to get you out of it?” Jack laughs bitterly, standing up so that he could look John in the eye properly, his entire body acting as imposing as physically possible. “I’m the one who saves your life and you get all the credit.”
“You really don’t get it do you Jack? You and me…we’re the same. We’ve always been the same-”
“I’m nothing like you!”
“Seriously?” Before John realises it he is shoving Jack backwards, a sick smile spread across his face. “You say I’m ruthless, but I’ve seen you with that gun in your hands Jack. You enjoy it…enjoy the power it gives you right?” He smirks. “You’re just as arrogant as I am…just as hungry as I am.”
“What the fuck do you know?!” Jack answers him with another shove.
“One hell of a lot.” John grins, his body quivering from the release of all his pent up frustration. “But maybe I was wrong…we aren’t the same. Because at least I can accept who the hell I am…” The look in Jack’s eyes is worth the pain as John feels a fist firmly hitting his jaw, his face contorting from the action. A knee hits his stomach a second later and John doubles over, a laugh leaving his mouth distinctively. He’s ready for the next hit though as Jack moves to punch again, blocking the action and retaliating with a punch of his own that conveniently splits his lip. He is relishing this feeling now, as he steps forward, landing several more punches to Jack’s face until the other man grabs his collar, head butting him with enough force to leave John dazed enough to be pushed up against the wall, Jack’s hands still at his collar, his eyes still burning into his skull.
“You just don’t know when to fucking shut up do you?” Jack laughs, his voice dripping with triumph. He turns his head for a moment, spitting the blood from his mouth before turning back to John and tightening his grip at his throat. “And you really should…”
“Another trait we share…” John smirks, timing his movements perfectly as he effortless spins out of Jack’s grasp, spinning them around so that it’s him who is now backed up against the wall. Jack’s body is writhing against him, but by that time John has had the time to adjust his hold to one where Jack simply has no leverage with which to escape. Laughing, John keeps them there, his grip tight as Jack struggles, only grunts exchanged between them until Jack finally accepts defeat and submits.
He isn’t sure if it is the effects of the violence that have merely intensified the feeling, but John is convinced that right then the sight of Jack submitting is the sexiest sight in the entire universe.
“You really need to learn some respect.” John smiles, leaning forward, his bruised face inches from Jack’s. Jack resists against the action, pushing away from the wall but John pushes him harder still, immobilising him once more. He wants to speak, to taunt and antagonise Jack further, but he doesn’t have the strength as he leans forward to kiss Jack with such force that any other person would have been terrified and shaken by it. But not Jack, because John knows that he is right about them being the same. They might not care, might not respect each other, but they both get off on violence, on power, and this kiss is the only outlet Jack has to try and reassert some authority and dominance. He doesn’t disappoint either, stunned momentarily until he quickly regains himself, pushing back into the kiss and attacking John’s mouth with just as much force. Before either of them can regain any control they are both pressed against each other, bodies searching for some kind of friction as their hands frantically work against buttons and zips. All thoughts of dominance are lost and overcome by a selfish need for release as they both reach into each other’s boxers, their hands quickly finding a steady rhythm that has John’s knees buckling and pushing him even closer to Jack. Lips are forgotten as they both rocket through ecstasy, Jack’s face buried into John’s shoulder whilst John’s teeth make harsh contact with the skin of his neck. For a few moments it heaven, but then it’s all over far too quickly, and after two phenomenal groans their bodies finally stop shaking, leaving their bodies pressed together in a noncommittal embrace.
Moments later and it’s as if neither of them want to touch, and yet their bodies stay together, arms gripping biceps tightly as neither man really wants to let go. John hates himself for feeling so weak, for almost clinging to Jack whilst his head regains some kind of focus, but something at the back of his head is telling him that he needs to be touched, to feel another heart beat against his, even for the briefest of time. Jack doesn’t seem to argue either, and for a minute or so they both stay there in a trance like state, panting hard as their lungs are finally rewarded by a much needed dose of oxygen.
Suddenly there’s a large beep as an alarm sounds from the ship’s navigation console and both men let go of each other as if their skin had been white hot.
“Get the fuck off me.” Jack quickly spits, pushing John backwards and away from him as he moves towards the console. He bends down to examine the instruments closer, the look of disgust on his features quickly turning to one of sheer confusion. “It can’t be…”
“What’s happening?”
“The ship’s in stasis.”
“Why? You didn’t tell me you’d put us into stasis-…”
“Because I didn’t.” Jack rolls his eyes, quickly flicking a switch and cycling through the console’s many different screens and displays.
“That’s impossible. The ship doesn’t just put itself into stasis.”
“You think that I don’t know that?!” Jack gives him an angry look, his eyes making the briefest of contact with John’s before they are back staring at the monitor. He sighs, taking in an almost calming breath before tapping a certain area of his monitor. “The ship’s temporal drive is reading zero.”
“What?!” John practically shoves his way past this time, his hands reaching out and turning the monitor towards him. “It must be a malfunction, we should still be moving.”
“We are.” Jack swallows. “Or at least the ship’s engines are still going at full capacity.” He points to the co-ordinates on the navigation monitor. “But in terms of position we aren’t moving.”
“Then what the hell is happening?”
“We must be inside a time loop.”
“What?”
“A time loop…come on John, use your intelligence. An area of space where time fluctuates erratically resulting in-”
“I know what a fucking time loop is…” John rolls his eyes. “But they are only theoretical…there’s no evidence to suggest that they exist.”
“Then what else could this be? We’re trapped John…stuck here. We can’t even alert anyone because anything that we send outside of this ship won’t move either.”
“So what the hell do we do?”
“We stay here…indefinitely.” Jack pauses, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “There’s nothing else we can do.”
“So we have to wait…sit here until the loop fluctuates again and gives us chance to escape?”
“Or until we die.” Jack says bluntly. “If these things only fluctuate very rarely then we’re more likely to just die of old age.”
Right then John can’t think of anything better. After all, at least death would give him an eternity of peace…
So…our boys are stuck in a time loop loathing each other, or at least pretending to anyway. Me thinks lots of fun *cough* smut *cough* will ensue within the concluding part. Either way, if you have read this far I would love to hear from you! Comments are the only reward I get from my random scribbles, and so hearing your thoughts is as always a huge pleasure. :)
Siany a.k.a Just Being Me
xxxxxx