Is tomorrow really going to happen?
I'd rather share a seesaw with Ralphie May than go through with tomorrow.
Oh, and by the way, all my classes make me want to bash my head against a fucking wall of bricks. I care about costume design, pilgrims, and balancing equations about as much as much as you care how long it took me to complete my morning piss. (24 seconds = world record) Someone check Guinness' for me.
I also LOVE, yes fucking LOVE, how my professors each think they are the only class I have. That's why I have papers and projects leaking out of my ass like I ate 50 fucking pounds of olestra. Newsflash to Professors: I HAVE SIX OF YOU. THIS ISN'T AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! I AM SLUTTING UP CLASSES LIKE A HOOKER ON VALENTINE'S DAY SO GET OFF MY GREEK ASS!
And speaking of Greek, that's another thing that pisses me off- "GREEK LIFE" Well campus "GREEK LIFE" ruins MY life. Because everyone thinks I am in a fucking sorority whenever I say the word "Greek". I would personally rather be pecked to death by a flock of pterodactyls than be in a sorority. And guess what? Greek is a real heritage- not a fake family that puts letters together that they can't even comprehend! Who the fuck knew- Greeks are an actual people?! Remember those people that were known for architecture, language, olive oil, and drinking shots of ouzo followed by doing back flips while they dance? Yeah them. Those are Greeks. And rumor has it, they're also known for taking it in the ass. Kind of like I will be doing tomorrow in all of my classes, because tomorrow is going to be that great. Yea Greek! OPA!
I can only think of two main things I actually learned in school:
1) People are as dumb as toenail clippings
2) The English language- And sadly and apparently most people don't find it important to learn this one to it's full potential. That's why when you call 411, a credit card company, or any number with an area code for that matter you are forced to listen to options in Spanish, French, REDNECK, Italian, and Japanese. Thanks to this I now know how to say numbers one through five in five languages aside from English. (UNO, DEUX, "TREE", QUATTRO, and GO)
And actually I should be thankful, because that is probably more than I will learn all week in college. Yay eighteen grand a year! Woop!
Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go watch reruns of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" until my eyes bleed. And did you know they play that show on Nick at Nite? Well yes, they do... and sadly at the fine age of twenty I feel older than Bob Barker. Can you fucking believe that bastard is still alive? I think he drinks formaldehyde. Or he's really dead, and they just use his stuffed body like a Pinocchio. If so, they do a great job because I can't even see the strings.
Oh, and by the way, all my classes make me want to bash my head against a fucking wall of bricks. I care about costume design, pilgrims, and balancing equations about as much as much as you care how long it took me to complete my morning piss. (24 seconds = world record) Someone check Guinness' for me.
I also LOVE, yes fucking LOVE, how my professors each think they are the only class I have. That's why I have papers and projects leaking out of my ass like I ate 50 fucking pounds of olestra. Newsflash to Professors: I HAVE SIX OF YOU. THIS ISN'T AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! I AM SLUTTING UP CLASSES LIKE A HOOKER ON VALENTINE'S DAY SO GET OFF MY GREEK ASS!
And speaking of Greek, that's another thing that pisses me off- "GREEK LIFE" Well campus "GREEK LIFE" ruins MY life. Because everyone thinks I am in a fucking sorority whenever I say the word "Greek". I would personally rather be pecked to death by a flock of pterodactyls than be in a sorority. And guess what? Greek is a real heritage- not a fake family that puts letters together that they can't even comprehend! Who the fuck knew- Greeks are an actual people?! Remember those people that were known for architecture, language, olive oil, and drinking shots of ouzo followed by doing back flips while they dance? Yeah them. Those are Greeks. And rumor has it, they're also known for taking it in the ass. Kind of like I will be doing tomorrow in all of my classes, because tomorrow is going to be that great. Yea Greek! OPA!
I can only think of two main things I actually learned in school:
1) People are as dumb as toenail clippings
2) The English language- And sadly and apparently most people don't find it important to learn this one to it's full potential. That's why when you call 411, a credit card company, or any number with an area code for that matter you are forced to listen to options in Spanish, French, REDNECK, Italian, and Japanese. Thanks to this I now know how to say numbers one through five in five languages aside from English. (UNO, DEUX, "TREE", QUATTRO, and GO)
And actually I should be thankful, because that is probably more than I will learn all week in college. Yay eighteen grand a year! Woop!
Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go watch reruns of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" until my eyes bleed. And did you know they play that show on Nick at Nite? Well yes, they do... and sadly at the fine age of twenty I feel older than Bob Barker. Can you fucking believe that bastard is still alive? I think he drinks formaldehyde. Or he's really dead, and they just use his stuffed body like a Pinocchio. If so, they do a great job because I can't even see the strings.