Things that people Should Not wear:
This is serious, and will soon be added to "Mary's Future List of Laws".
Things That People Should Not Wear:
1) Girls that weigh more that 12 pounds should not wear short skirts that can fly up on a warm, windy day. Yes, it's nice out... until I saw your polka dot underwear rubbing into your ass crack. Much appreciated.
2) White people who wear stockings and do-rags on their heads. Well folks, aside from you being ghetto, you look like a fucking dumbass. Buy a Yankees cap and go on with life.
3) Tube socks- These are completely unecessary. If your shoes don't come up to your shins, which they don't, then these socks are fucking useless, and very unflattering might i add. Typically "punk" kids and male senior citizens enjoy these foot coverings, which kind of puts the socks' stupidity into perspective.
4) T-Shirts that hang past one's knees- Unless you plan on using the shirt as a body bag to drag yourself to the morgue in, I suggest you pass on the excess fabric.
5) Ugly, overpriced designer bags and even worse, the fake versions of these- My first question is, did you buy the bag because you actually liked little C's and LV's all over the brown outside, or did you just buy it because it was $400 and you wanted people to think you had money? Moving on, to those people who buy the fake versions, you're a fraud, and you should have to pay a fine for being a schmuck. However, some of the purses are really cute, don't get me wrong, but the typical ones with the lettering repetitively stamped all over the bag, the ones that virtually every yuppie buys just to have, INCLUDING the Luggage, makes you look like a snotty ass. Invest that money into something important, like condoms, that way you don't end up having kids that will ruin society like you are.
6) Sports bras as T-Shirts- Everyone that sees you knows that it's a bra. You look like white trash. Commerce bank gives out free t-shirts and so does the Salvation Army.
7) Anything with shoulder pads- I thought this trend died out in the 80s, but I was proven wrong. If you're not a football player, shoulder pads are not for you.
8) Spandex- If you need further explanation of this, then you are basically an imbecile.
9) Thong bathing suits/bikinis- Nothing like some nice cellulite ass on the beach... Oh, but even if you have a nice tight ass, if you wear this filth out in public, I'll bet anything you could fit a piano in your vagina. And loosey goosey never got anyone anywhere, except of course porn stars, actors, models, lawyers, doctors... nevermind nevermind, wear the thong, cause God knows you can't get anywhere on your own.
10) Bras that do not support the twins- If your tits are hanging down to your bellybutton, I am pretty sure (could be wrong), but almost positive that your bra sucks and you should not buy pot for a week and use that extra money to buy a better bra. "It lifts and separates!"
11) scrunchies- these are about as cool as finding out you have an ulcer
12) The "dirty-look" Jeans- You know, those jeans that cost $80 at the least and look like you were involved in a bull-wrestling competition. If you want a pair of dirty looking jeans I can beat your ass up and then take a shit on you. Your jeans will definitely look dirty,and believe me, it will be a lot cheaper.
Well, I'm sure there's more, but I don't feel like thinking anymore. Maybe I offended some people. Maybe I made some of you laugh. Either way, it's all in a night's work.
Things That People Should Not Wear:
1) Girls that weigh more that 12 pounds should not wear short skirts that can fly up on a warm, windy day. Yes, it's nice out... until I saw your polka dot underwear rubbing into your ass crack. Much appreciated.
2) White people who wear stockings and do-rags on their heads. Well folks, aside from you being ghetto, you look like a fucking dumbass. Buy a Yankees cap and go on with life.
3) Tube socks- These are completely unecessary. If your shoes don't come up to your shins, which they don't, then these socks are fucking useless, and very unflattering might i add. Typically "punk" kids and male senior citizens enjoy these foot coverings, which kind of puts the socks' stupidity into perspective.
4) T-Shirts that hang past one's knees- Unless you plan on using the shirt as a body bag to drag yourself to the morgue in, I suggest you pass on the excess fabric.
5) Ugly, overpriced designer bags and even worse, the fake versions of these- My first question is, did you buy the bag because you actually liked little C's and LV's all over the brown outside, or did you just buy it because it was $400 and you wanted people to think you had money? Moving on, to those people who buy the fake versions, you're a fraud, and you should have to pay a fine for being a schmuck. However, some of the purses are really cute, don't get me wrong, but the typical ones with the lettering repetitively stamped all over the bag, the ones that virtually every yuppie buys just to have, INCLUDING the Luggage, makes you look like a snotty ass. Invest that money into something important, like condoms, that way you don't end up having kids that will ruin society like you are.
6) Sports bras as T-Shirts- Everyone that sees you knows that it's a bra. You look like white trash. Commerce bank gives out free t-shirts and so does the Salvation Army.
7) Anything with shoulder pads- I thought this trend died out in the 80s, but I was proven wrong. If you're not a football player, shoulder pads are not for you.
8) Spandex- If you need further explanation of this, then you are basically an imbecile.
9) Thong bathing suits/bikinis- Nothing like some nice cellulite ass on the beach... Oh, but even if you have a nice tight ass, if you wear this filth out in public, I'll bet anything you could fit a piano in your vagina. And loosey goosey never got anyone anywhere, except of course porn stars, actors, models, lawyers, doctors... nevermind nevermind, wear the thong, cause God knows you can't get anywhere on your own.
10) Bras that do not support the twins- If your tits are hanging down to your bellybutton, I am pretty sure (could be wrong), but almost positive that your bra sucks and you should not buy pot for a week and use that extra money to buy a better bra. "It lifts and separates!"
11) scrunchies- these are about as cool as finding out you have an ulcer
12) The "dirty-look" Jeans- You know, those jeans that cost $80 at the least and look like you were involved in a bull-wrestling competition. If you want a pair of dirty looking jeans I can beat your ass up and then take a shit on you. Your jeans will definitely look dirty,and believe me, it will be a lot cheaper.
Well, I'm sure there's more, but I don't feel like thinking anymore. Maybe I offended some people. Maybe I made some of you laugh. Either way, it's all in a night's work.