And now for....
Things I Would Like to See Destroyed:
1) Soap Operas- They're gay and they're stupid. And sadly I can see why 99.9% of the straight male race feels that women are inferior. It is because of moves like this women! You dumb sluts. Hanging on so tightly to a show that targets on drama in the worst sense, with the most pathetic acting ever. My most favorite aspect of these shows is the 5-minute blank stare that characters give right before a commercial break. Did the actors have to get special training for this, I wonder? "Janie is pregnant with Lisa's kid"... Now that's about one of the only situations that would be deserving of a blank stare in my book. Sometimes I wonder why I have a vagina and boobs, just because I don't like the typical female bullshit.
2) Crispie MnM's- They're like rice crispies with shit wrapped around them, they make annoying sounds when chewed upon, and they are just bad news in general. Peanut is where it's at.
3) Infomercials- "But Wait! There's More!" Yea, my fat ass rubbing against the TV screen after witnessing some of that shit. I don't know what is sadder: the fact that these commercials exist, or the fact that people in mass amounts are influenced enough to buy merchandise such as the "5 second dildo" or the "Do-It-yourself Lyposuction Package".
4) The Lottery- Basically the reason behind this is because I am not lucky enough to ever win it. So, I'd rather have everyone else in my boat who actually has a chance in winning to be miserable.
5) Sharon Osbourne's Voice: "oooooh ooooh Owzaaay!" Shut up bitch! I almost wish she smoked so she could get cancer in her throat and be forced to get her voice box cut out. It also bothers me when she talks about her wrinkly, old, nasty crotch.
6) Twinkies- Get rid of these and .01% of American's will lose 2 pounds by next year. Don't think that's reason enough? Well, neither do I. However, the "Where's the cream filling" slogan is rated X. Kids hear that shit. And we wonder why 12 year old girls get rashes in and around their mouths... "cream filling" my ass!
7) Alzheimer's Disease- Because it runs in my family and it would be sad to slowly have my brain deteriorate and then repeat myself and forget.
8) Alzheimer's Disease- Because it runs... oh shit.
9) Bees- All kinds. Nothing good will ever come of them. Honey is overrated.
10) Paulie Shore- The man is an ass. It was funny, the other day they had on MTV fantasies, and the one girl's fantasy was to sing with a celebrity. They brought out Paulie fucking Shore. I felt bad, really bad.
11) Backpacks and Bags to carry your baby in- Typically yuppies and idiots have these contraptions. Go figure.
12) Mayonaise- Hello, would you like some lard?
13) Fruity Pebbles- no, just... no.
14) Trailer parks- the main cause of inbreeding
15) The Brady Bunch- 9 people, one bathroom- I must've missed the suicide episode.
16) Lemon and Lime Flavored Pies- that's not right.
17) Joan Rivers- I think we are on the 15th face lift by now.
18) Bob Barker- I used to like him, but now I am convinced he is a robot or an alien or maybe an immortal, and all of those things are dangerous. He is like a corpse that doesn't rot. "The Price Is Right!" The hell it is Bob. The hell it is!!
19) Anna Nicole- Before we kill her off, we should make her perform a remix of the favorite classic song, "If I Only Had a Brain".
20) Lyposuction- Go for a fucking jog.
There are too many more... Tune in next time for: things you shouldn't say to transexuals. =O
1) Soap Operas- They're gay and they're stupid. And sadly I can see why 99.9% of the straight male race feels that women are inferior. It is because of moves like this women! You dumb sluts. Hanging on so tightly to a show that targets on drama in the worst sense, with the most pathetic acting ever. My most favorite aspect of these shows is the 5-minute blank stare that characters give right before a commercial break. Did the actors have to get special training for this, I wonder? "Janie is pregnant with Lisa's kid"... Now that's about one of the only situations that would be deserving of a blank stare in my book. Sometimes I wonder why I have a vagina and boobs, just because I don't like the typical female bullshit.
2) Crispie MnM's- They're like rice crispies with shit wrapped around them, they make annoying sounds when chewed upon, and they are just bad news in general. Peanut is where it's at.
3) Infomercials- "But Wait! There's More!" Yea, my fat ass rubbing against the TV screen after witnessing some of that shit. I don't know what is sadder: the fact that these commercials exist, or the fact that people in mass amounts are influenced enough to buy merchandise such as the "5 second dildo" or the "Do-It-yourself Lyposuction Package".
4) The Lottery- Basically the reason behind this is because I am not lucky enough to ever win it. So, I'd rather have everyone else in my boat who actually has a chance in winning to be miserable.
5) Sharon Osbourne's Voice: "oooooh ooooh Owzaaay!" Shut up bitch! I almost wish she smoked so she could get cancer in her throat and be forced to get her voice box cut out. It also bothers me when she talks about her wrinkly, old, nasty crotch.
6) Twinkies- Get rid of these and .01% of American's will lose 2 pounds by next year. Don't think that's reason enough? Well, neither do I. However, the "Where's the cream filling" slogan is rated X. Kids hear that shit. And we wonder why 12 year old girls get rashes in and around their mouths... "cream filling" my ass!
7) Alzheimer's Disease- Because it runs in my family and it would be sad to slowly have my brain deteriorate and then repeat myself and forget.
8) Alzheimer's Disease- Because it runs... oh shit.
9) Bees- All kinds. Nothing good will ever come of them. Honey is overrated.
10) Paulie Shore- The man is an ass. It was funny, the other day they had on MTV fantasies, and the one girl's fantasy was to sing with a celebrity. They brought out Paulie fucking Shore. I felt bad, really bad.
11) Backpacks and Bags to carry your baby in- Typically yuppies and idiots have these contraptions. Go figure.
12) Mayonaise- Hello, would you like some lard?
13) Fruity Pebbles- no, just... no.
14) Trailer parks- the main cause of inbreeding
15) The Brady Bunch- 9 people, one bathroom- I must've missed the suicide episode.
16) Lemon and Lime Flavored Pies- that's not right.
17) Joan Rivers- I think we are on the 15th face lift by now.
18) Bob Barker- I used to like him, but now I am convinced he is a robot or an alien or maybe an immortal, and all of those things are dangerous. He is like a corpse that doesn't rot. "The Price Is Right!" The hell it is Bob. The hell it is!!
19) Anna Nicole- Before we kill her off, we should make her perform a remix of the favorite classic song, "If I Only Had a Brain".
20) Lyposuction- Go for a fucking jog.
There are too many more... Tune in next time for: things you shouldn't say to transexuals. =O