Handy tips for a new life
Tips for better post-Katrina living in New Orleans:
1) When you go back to Mother's, you may want to resist ordering the roast beef wi th debris
2) Try to keep a straight face when you tell a New Orleanian "MREs are quite tasty."
3) Never again utter the words "trailer trash"
4) Don't expect the full menu anywhere but Tujaque's
5) Go to Pat O's and order anything but a you-know-what
6) Don't buy used appliances anywhere south of Ohio
7) Don't take the signing bonus from your local Popeye's and let a Church's in San Antonio lure you away
8) Uptowners should never make eye contact at the food stamp office
9) Be sure to hide the stuff you salvaged from the neighbor's trash before you have them over for dinner (that fondue pot was their's)
10) Refrain from telling your kids how this is no worse than the 1960's: three snowy TV channels, lousy telephones and no Internet - they'l just make faces at you
Letter to the editor of the New Orleans Times Picayune by Bruce Stewart, Metairie
1) When you go back to Mother's, you may want to resist ordering the roast beef wi th debris
2) Try to keep a straight face when you tell a New Orleanian "MREs are quite tasty."
3) Never again utter the words "trailer trash"
4) Don't expect the full menu anywhere but Tujaque's
5) Go to Pat O's and order anything but a you-know-what
6) Don't buy used appliances anywhere south of Ohio
7) Don't take the signing bonus from your local Popeye's and let a Church's in San Antonio lure you away
8) Uptowners should never make eye contact at the food stamp office
9) Be sure to hide the stuff you salvaged from the neighbor's trash before you have them over for dinner (that fondue pot was their's)
10) Refrain from telling your kids how this is no worse than the 1960's: three snowy TV channels, lousy telephones and no Internet - they'l just make faces at you
Letter to the editor of the New Orleans Times Picayune by Bruce Stewart, Metairie